当女友和狗不可兼得：美国男子登广告为女友找下家

Forced to choose between his pet dog and his girlfriend, one man decided the best way to find his friend a new home was to post an advert online.

因被迫在女友和宠物狗之间做出选择，一名男子决定在网上刊登广告给女友找下家。

Entitled 'Free to any willing home', the Craigslist ad describes the best and worse traits of his companion in a bid to best match her with a new owner.

这则刊登在Craigslist的广告标题为“免费送给任何愿意收养的家庭，其中描述了他的伴侣的优点和缺点，以期为她找到最合适的新主人。

Following his lengthy farewell, the advert's real message is revealed at the end.

在一整篇恋恋不舍的文字之后，这则广告的真实意图才显现出来。

Not mincing his words, the man denounces his partner - describing her as a 'selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend' and asks for her to be quickly re-homed.

该男子很直白地对女友进行讨伐，称她是“自私、邪恶、拜金的女友，并且希望她尽快被人领走。

In the opening line of the message, the man, who lives in the city of Roanoke, Virginia, outlines how his girlfriend does not like his pet dog Molly, before explaining a bit about her.

该男子家住弗吉尼亚州的罗阿诺克市，他在广告的开头简要说了一下他的女友有多不喜欢他的宠物狗莫莉，之后也对女友稍事介绍。

The advertisement which includes an adorable photo of Molly the beagle, goes through all her attributes in a frank manner.

广告中附有一张莫莉可爱的照片，同时也坦白列出了她的习性。

'She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years,' it states. 'She likes to play games. Not totally trained.'

“她是来自富人区的纯种犬，已经跟我4年了。她喜欢玩游戏，没受过训练。

'Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done.'

“因为毛发较长，所以有点难伺候，尤其是指甲，不过她很喜欢修指甲。

The man even admits how she 'stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work'.

该男子甚至指出，莫莉“整宿整宿地叫唤，然后在我工作的时候呼呼大睡。

He goes on to highlight more of her positive characteristics as well as the potential problems she might bring to her new owners.

接着，他还重点列出的莫莉的优点和可能会为新主人家里带来的问题。

'Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!'

“她只吃最好、最贵的食品。当我结束一天的工作回到家后她从来不会跑到门口来迎接，我心情不爽时她也不会给我关爱。她不咬人但脾气极坏!

After all the description, the man's real message comes to fruition in the final sentence - revealing his decision to say goodbye to his girlfriend rather than his faithful hound.

在所有这些描述之后，该男子的真实意图终于显现，他决定抛弃女友，与忠实的汪星人朋友相伴。

He ends with: 'Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed ASAP!!'

广告的结尾时这样的：“快来把她领走!我和我的狗狗希望她尽快找到下家!

It remains to be seen how the girlfriend reacted to the news but at least Molly will be relieved to hear that she remains the man's best friend.

目前尚不知道该男子的女友会对这则广告作何反应，不过最起码宠物狗莫莉能够长舒一口气了。

Vocabulary:

denounce: 谴责，指责

gold-digging: 拜金的

yap: 狂吠

fruition: 实现