转折

——十个海子的复活

——The resurrection of ten Haizi

2003年3月26日晴

March 26, 2003 sunny

“献祭的黑毛羊死在三月四月的中间/众人的身后你活的三月四月”

"The sacrifice of the black sheep died in the middle of March and April / after all you live in March and April"

这首诗献给你——消失在三月四月中间的大地之王——海子。

This poem is dedicated to you, Haizi, the king of the earth who disappeared in the middle of March and April.

每年的今天，都会想起你，和你所有的诗。

Every year today, I think of you and all your poems.

“春天/十个海子全部复活”这是你留给世人的最后一首短诗，然后，你就离开了，带着你一生不变的坚持，到天堂，继续唱你的夜歌。

"Spring / the resurrection of ten seas" is the last short poem you left for the world. Then, you left, with your lifelong insistence, go to heaven and continue to sing your night song.

但是，我想，假如你真的还活在天堂，那么就不得不承认你的死亡，是你生命中的一处转折。因为我看到了，我真的看到十个海子在春天的复活——你的诗，连同你的精神，活生生地出现在这个世界，并照亮了它。

But, I think, if you really live in heaven, then you have to admit that your death is a turning point in your life. Because I see, I really see the resurrection of ten Haizi in spring - your poems, together with your spirit, appear in the world and illuminate it.

你生前的寂寞我真的可以感受得到。在那样一个时代，写作是一条真正寂寞的路。许多文人融入了潮流，去追逐名利、地位而背弃了他们的灵魂。唯有你，和为数不多的几个人坚守住自己的内心，在黑暗中苦苦挣扎，祈求黎明到来临。只可惜最终，还是没有人懂你的诗，懂你的感受。于是，你于是心力憔悴，宁愿沉睡，不再清醒。所以，14年前的今天，你故意离去……

I can really feel the loneliness of your life. In such an era, writing is a really lonely way. Many literati have integrated into the trend to pursue fame and wealth, status and betray their souls. Only you, and a few people, keep their hearts firmly, struggling in the dark, praying for the dawn to come. It's a pity that in the end, no one understands your poetry and your feelings. So, you are so haggard, would rather sleep, no longer awake. So, 14 years ago today, you deliberately left

但幸好，你留下了你的诗，和你一生不变的坚持。社会被震撼了，文学界被震撼了。人们开始重新审视自己的价值取向，并试着理解你。你成了文学界的神话，诗歌的烈士。于是，我看到十个海子在春天复活，看到了你生命中重要的转折点。

But fortunately, you have left your poems and your unchanging persistence. The society was shocked and the literary circle was shocked. People start to reexamine their values and try to understand you. You become the myth of literature, the martyr of poetry. So, I saw ten Haizi resurrected in spring, and saw an important turning point in your life.

每一个人都有失意的时候，但却不是每一个失意人的死亡都会为生命的转折点。唯有用心生活，用心去爱，用生命追逐理想的人才会最终得到人们的认可。

Everyone has a time of frustration, but not everyone's death will be the turning point of life. Only those who live with their heart, love with their heart and pursue their ideals with their life will finally be recognized by people.

说死为生命的转折点未免有点悲凉。但也许，有价值的死多少会冲淡这悲凉吧——就像是屈原，或是王国维。海子，你一生追寻梦想，死亡后精神长存于世间，这，便是永生啊！

It's sad to say that death is the turning point of life. But perhaps, valuable death will dilute the sadness more or less - like Qu Yuan or Wang Guowei. Haizi, you pursue your dream all your life, and your spirit will live forever after your death. This is immortality!

海子，活着的时候你定没有想到自己死后会被人赏识吧。有价值的东西只有在消逝之后才会引起人们的注意，就如你红头发的瘦哥哥梵高，一生静默地守侯，也换来了死后的又一次重生。死亡，是你们共同的转折点啊！

Haizi, you never thought you would be appreciated when you were alive. Valuable things will only attract people's attention when they disappear, just like your thin red haired brother Van Gogh, who has been waiting silently all his life, but also has been reborn after death. Death is your common turning point!

小小的星从不被人注意，但当它化为流星，面对死亡时，去倍受关注。很多时候，转折只在生死之间，一线的距离，却相隔甚远。因为逝去的美好，往往弥足珍贵。

A small star is never noticed, but when it turns into a meteor and faces death, it gets more attention. Most of the time, the turning point is only between life and death, but the distance is far away. Because the beauty of the past is often precious.

人生并非越灿烂越美。许多人一生荣华，死后却被人唾弃。花一样盛开的必将花一样凋落，这是自然的法则。一生默默无语精神永存世间的，死亡，成了他们重要的转折点，将他们的思想，变成一种别样的美。

Life is not more brilliant and beautiful. Many people live a glorious life, but they are despised after death. It is the law of nature that a flower in full bloom will wither like a flower. The spirit of silence in life is eternal in the world. Death has become an important turning point for them, turning their thoughts into a different kind of beauty.

人生处处可遇转折，而最重要的转折莫过于死亡——它，将给你的一生，打上一个公平的分数，或使你从平庸变得受人瞩目，或使你从显赫变得万人唾弃。

Life is full of twists and turns, and the most important one is death - it will give you a fair score in your life, or make you from mediocrity to attention, or make you from prominence to rejection.

海子，今天，我再次怀念你。希望这篇日记，为你精神的复活作证，为你生命的转折作证。

Haizi, today, I miss you again. I hope this diary will testify to the resurrection of your spirit and the turning point of your life.

14年后的今天依旧春暖花开，我在这里怀念早死的海子……

Today, 14 years later, the spring is still blooming. I miss Haizi who died early here