我能

场景一：某日，张三与其父张老三出海钓鱼，离开祖国3700公里，突遇完美风暴，沦落鲁滨逊小岛，弹尽粮绝，即将沦为花肥，绝望之时，张老三摸出最后法宝，叮叮当当按起号码，张三疑惑，能行吗？张老三正对镜头，充满幸福感的大喊：我能！

Scene 1: one day, Zhang San and his father, Zhang Laosan, went out to sea to fish for 3700 kilometers away from the motherland, encountered a perfect storm, fell to Robinson Island, ran out of food and ammunition, and was about to turn into fertilizer and flowers. In despair, Zhang Laosan felt the last magic weapon, and Dingdang pressed the number. Zhang San wondered, is it OK? Zhang Laosan is facing the camera, full of happiness shouting: I can!

场景二：李四与父亲李老四乘坐飞机中的战斗机-波音出国旅游，果然坠落，一飞机人散落野人部落，众人面对满身花纹，手持长毛的食人部落陷入绝望。。。。。。。。事后，记者采访李老四，你当时绝望了吗，你觉得能逃出生天吗？李老四闻之面露喜色，摸出手机，露出硕大的赞助商标志，表情坚毅的说：我能！！

Scene 2: Li Si and his father, Li Laosi, take the fighter plane Boeing in the plane to travel abroad. As expected, they fall down. One of them is scattered among the savage tribes. All of them are in despair when they are faced with patterns and armed with long hair........ Afterwards, the reporter interviewed Li Laosi. Did you despair at that time? Do you think you can escape from life? Li Laosi's face beamed, touched his mobile phone, revealed the huge sponsor logo, and said firmly: I can!!

场景三：王五入考场发现电子屏蔽设备齐全，心头一顿漆黑。怎么办？生存还是毁灭，问题很大。果不其然，数道大题不会。依锦囊之计行使，摸出手机：长江长江，电子屏蔽厉害，能收到请回话！再三重试，终于发送成功。瞬，叮叮当当一阵欢快的声音，屏幕上显出赫然两个大字：我能！！！

Scene 3: when Wang Wu entered the examination room, he found that the electronic shielding equipment was complete and his heart was completely dark. What should I do? It's a big question whether to survive or not. Sure enough, several big questions won't. According to the plan of Jinbao, touch the mobile phone: Yangtze River and Yangtze River, electronic shielding is powerful, please reply if you can receive it! Try again and again, and finally send successfully. In an instant, a happy sound of tinkling, two big words on the screen: I can!!!

场景四：某书记与房产商正胡吃海喝，称兄道弟，须臾，小蜜耳边暗语：死鬼，政府大楼前又有人自焚了，这个星期都7个了。问：还是因为拆迁？答：可不是。问：可之奈何？答：内事不决问小蜜，外事不决专家啊！答：甚好。叮叮当当拨给狗头专家。狗头听吧，答之曰：不就个自焚嘛，你看能不能推到李大师头上？书记拍着大肚子，大呼：我能！！！！

Scene 4: a secretary and a real estate agent are eating and drinking in the sea. They call each other brother. In a moment, Xiaomi whispers in her ear, "dead man, someone has burned himself in front of the government building again. It's seven this week.". Q: or because of demolition? A: not really. What can I do? A: never ask Xiaomi for internal affairs, or experts for external affairs! A: very good. Tinkle to the dog head specialist. Listen to the dog's head, and the answer is: don't burn yourself. Do you think you can push it on Master Li's head? Secretary claps big belly, shout: I can!!!!

场景五：王小鸡骨碌着眼睛，准备好了吗？王三麻子坚定的点了点头。好，请答题：下面哪一个广告语当选2006最恶心大众奖？A、天生的好奶；B、洗洗更健康；C、谁用谁知道；D、他好我也好。说完，二人相视一吐，吐罢，王三麻子陷入沉思。王小鸡神色慌张，需要我帮你删除一个错误答案吗？需要求助场外好友吗？需要现场帮助吗？你能搞定吗？听到最后一句，王三麻子面露神光，举着心口赫然的赞助商标志，大呼：我能！！！！！

Scene 5: is Wang Xiaoji ready? Wang sanmazi nodded firmly. OK, please answer the question: which of the following advertisements was elected the most disgusting public award in 2006? A. Natural good milk; B, washing is healthier; C, who uses who knows; D, whether he is good or not. Finish saying, two people look at each other a spit, spit, Wang sanmazi is immersed in contemplation. Wang Xiaoji looks flustered. Do you need me to delete a wrong answer for you? Do you need to ask for help from friends outside? Do you need on-site help? Can you handle it? Hearing the last sentence, Wang sanmazi showed his face and held up the logo of the sponsor, shouting: I can!!!!!

谨以此文献给这个扯淡的时代！

This article is dedicated to this era of bullshit!