提篮春光看妈妈（8）

妈妈，您还好吗？在那个世界还会有人像我这样爱您吗？也许吧，也许会有比我更听话的女儿每天照顾您，也许您在过着幸福的生活。

Mom, are you ok? Will someone in that world love you as much as I do? Maybe, maybe there will be a more obedient daughter to take care of you every day, maybe you are living a happy life.

可是妈妈，我会想您，在每一个静静的深夜，在每一条孤独的小路，在每一个寂寞的窗前。我会轻轻的抽泣，一下一下，触碰着我的心，很痛。我想，之所以会难过，是因为太想念，是因为离别的伤口真的太深，早已刻下了无法抹去的痛。

But mom, I will miss you, in every quiet night, in every lonely path, in every lonely window. I will sob gently, once, touch my heart, very painful. I think the reason why I feel sad is that I miss you so much, because the wound of parting is really too deep, and the pain that can't be erased has already been engraved.

妈妈，您走的时候，我不知道哭了多久。可是，您再也看不见了，您再也不会来安慰我了，再也不会把您温暖的肩膀借给我了。再也不会了！真的，我不知道除了哭还能做什么。我像个傻瓜一样，哭到再也没有力气，我静静的倒下了。醒来时，我多么希望那是个噩梦！我找啊，喊啊，您再也没回应我，我才明白，这确是个噩梦——真实的噩梦。

Mom, I don't know how long I cried when you left. However, you will never see again, you will never come to comfort me, and you will never lend me your warm shoulder. Never again! Really, I don't know what I can do but cry. I like a fool, cry to no longer have the strength, I fell quietly. How I wish it was a nightmare when I woke up! I look for it, shout it, and you never respond to me again. I understand that it's a nightmare - a real nightmare.

以前，我总爱考完试第一个把成绩单拿给您看，因为我的成绩总能换来您的笑容。那一刻绽放的是这个世界最美的笑。为了看到那枚笑容，我总是努力再努力。可现在，您知道吗？当我再也看不到您的笑容时，那该是怎样的失落与绝望……

Before, I always loved to show you my report card after the test, because my score always brings you a smile. At that moment, it was the most beautiful smile in the world. In order to see that smile, I always try my best. But now, do you know? When I can no longer see your smile, what kind of loss and despair should it be

我长大了，真的。记得您以前总爱说我是个长不大的孩子。这些年来，经过了一个个日日夜夜，我不知不觉懂得了很多：我学会了宽容、理解，学会了珍惜每个人给我的爱，学会了替别人着想。妈妈，您看见了吗？您的女儿懂事了，不再是个让人担心的孩子了。

I grew up, really. I remember you used to say that I was a little boy. Over the years, through day and night, I unconsciously learned a lot: I learned to be tolerant and understanding, to cherish the love everyone gave me, and to think for others. Mom, have you seen it? Your daughter is sensible and no longer a worrying child.

妈妈，回来好不好？我一定不会再因一时任性而惹您生气了；一定不会再因晚回家让您担心了；我一定不会再让您感到孤独了；我一定不会再为了好看求您给我买新衣服了；我一定不会再偷懒不帮你做家务了；我……可是我知道，再也不会了，我都知道。

Mom, will you come back? I won't make you angry because of my caprice; I won't worry you about coming home late; I won't make you feel lonely anymore; I won't ask you to buy me new clothes for the sake of looking good; I won't be lazy anymore and won't help you with your housework; I But I know, never again, I know.

妈妈，您看见了吗？这一篮子春光：有唱歌的鸟儿，有微笑的花儿，有温柔的春风，还有带着希望的春雨。它们象征着新的希望，象征着我对您的祝福，希望您可以一直幸福的生活。我是您永远的女儿，爱着您，默默的为您祈祷。

Mom, have you seen it? This basket of spring light: there are singing birds, smiling flowers, gentle spring breeze, and spring rain with hope. They symbolize new hope and my blessing for you. I hope you can live a happy life all the time. I am your forever daughter, love you, silently pray for you.

妈妈，请保留好这一篮子春光，保留好我最真心的祝福。

Mom, please keep this basket of spring light and my best wishes.

【满分亮点】

[full point highlights]

这是一篇用眼泪用真情挥洒的考场佳作。读了本文之后，真的被作者那声声泪、字字血的语言文字所感染。这种强烈的情感是通过什么手法渲染出来的呢？我认为通篇运用的呼告修辞手法起了非常重要的作用。如“妈妈，您还好吗？”“妈妈，回来好不好？”“妈妈，您看见了吗？”等语句增强了整个呼唤的抒情表达效果，有力地表达了自己的悲痛情感。可以说，这种呼唤的情感贯穿全文，使文章回环往复，荡气回肠，使阅卷者也受到了强烈的感染。

This is a masterpiece of the examination hall with tears and true feelings. After reading this article, I was really infected by the author's words with tears and blood. By what means is this strong emotion rendered? I think the call rhetoric used throughout the article plays a very important role. Like "Mom, are you ok?" "Mom, will you come back?" "Mom, did you see it?" And so on sentence enhanced the whole Call Lyric expression effect, effectively expressed their own grief emotion. It can be said that this kind of calling emotion runs through the whole paper, makes the article go back and forth, makes the readers also be strongly infected.