孩子们写给大人的爆笑信件[1]

In this digital age, there's nothing better than receiving a good old-fashioned letter. Especially when it's written by a child.

在这个数字时代，没有什么能比收到一封老式信件更好的了，特别是当写信的人是孩子的时候。

Whether it's checking up on Santa's reindeer, asking dad's work to give him a day off or sending notes to the postman, our little angels can have the sweetest of intentions when it comes to writing notes. Well, most of the time, anyway.

无论是询问圣诞老人驯鹿的近况，要求爸爸的公司给他放一天假，还是写信给邮递员，我们的小天使们在写信的时候可以有最甜蜜的意图。嗯，反正大部分时间是这样的。

From brutal honesty to unflattering illustrations, these children's literary masterpieces are too good not to be shared - which is what their parents did online.

从残酷的诚实到坦率的插图，这些儿童的佳作若不共享就太浪费 – 而这正是他们的父母在网上做的。

But one thing is for sure, kids certainly love their mothers.

但有一点可以肯定的是，孩子们绝对喜欢他们的母亲。

Brendan writes his message in a heart, saying 'thank you mom for making me food so I don't die'. At least his mother knows what she's there for.

布兰登在一个心形图案里写道：“感谢妈妈为我做饭，所以我没有死掉。”至少他的母亲知道她存在的意义了。

In another funny message, one kid writes their mum a poem with a rather telling simile: 'Roses are red, just like your face when dad eats our snack'.

在另一张有趣的纸条中，一个孩子给自己的妈妈写了首诗，其中有一个相当生动的比喻：“玫瑰是红色的，就像爸爸吃我们的零食时您的脸”。

But not all parents are in their children's good books, it seems.

但似乎并不是所有的家长都得到了孩子们的欢心。

One girl tells her mum and dad that she 'will never forgive' them if they cut her hair. And in case they don't realise how sad she is, she even draws them a broken heart and some buckets of her tears.

一个女孩告诉她的妈妈和爸爸，如果他们剪掉她的头发，那她将“永远不会原谅”他们。为了让他们意识到她会有多么伤心，她甚至画了一颗破碎的心、以及几桶眼泪。

In another heartbreaking note, the young scribe signs the letter 'from the saddest person in the world', and even crosses out the word 'love'.

在另一张心碎纸条里，这孩子给信件的签名为“世界上最悲伤的人”，这小孩甚至在“爱”这个字上划了个红叉。

Others appreciate their parents efforts a little more, it seems.

其他孩子们似乎较能体谅父母的努力。

Joseph writes a simple note to his father, recognising that 'it takes balls to be a Dad'.

约瑟夫给他的父亲写了一个简单的纸条，承认“做爸爸是需要勇气的”。

And Katie even writes to her father's employer requesting that he gets 'one day off' for his birthday. 'It is summer, you know', she reminds the Google worker.

凯蒂甚至写信给她爸爸的老板，要求在爸爸的生日给他“放一天假”。“现在是夏天，您知道的”，她这样提醒谷歌员工。

It's not always their loved ones small children appreciate, however.

不过，小孩子们感激的并不总是他们的亲人。

These youngsters have written letters to thank hotel staff, war veterans and even the postman.

这些孩子们还写信感谢过酒店的工作人员、退伍军人、甚至邮递员。

Lucas doesn't beat around the bush in his thank you card to war veterans - 'Hitler you are a loser!' he writes, even drawing a little picture of the Nazi leader.

卢卡斯在给退伍军人的感谢卡中，直言道：“希特勒，你是个失败者！”他甚至绘制了一张该纳粹领导人的小图片。

And while writing a letter to Santa is a childhood rite of passage, some kids are more thoughtful than others.

虽然写信给圣诞老人是童年时期的惯例，但有些孩子们比其他人更体贴周到。

One tells Father Christmas to 'take it easy' on himself, and asks how the reindeer are getting on.

一个孩子告诉圣诞老人让他“放松自己”，并问道驯鹿们过得怎么样。

Another writes: 'You can skip me because the kids on the coast need more than me'.

另一个孩子写道：“您可以不用管我，因为海岸附近的孩子们比我更需要您”。

Others, on the other hand, are a little more demanding. One little girl tells Santa 'there will be consequences' if she doesn't get her pony this year.

还有些孩子们要求有点苛刻。一个小女孩告诉圣诞老人如果她今年得不到她的小马驹，“后果会很严重”。

But Santa's not the only one who's getting a hard time.

但是，圣诞老人并不是唯一一个不好过的。

A young Annisa wrote to remind the tooth fairy that she had still not been paid for the tooth she lost in her pizza last month. 'Not to be hard but I need money,' she writes.

年轻的安妮莎写信给牙仙子提醒她，她还没有为自己上个月咬比萨时丢掉的牙齿付钱。 “我不想这么苛刻，但我需要钱”，她写道。

Joyce even wrote God a letter thanking him for her baby brother. 'But what I prayed for was a puppy,' she reminds him.

乔伊斯甚至写了一封信给上帝，感谢他赐予她弟弟。“但是，我祈祷要的其实是一条小狗”，她提醒上帝说。

Demanding notes can be hilarious, but so too can kids' letters of apology.

写纸条提要求可说是令人捧腹，孩子们的道歉信也同样引人发笑。

Corrine writes 'to whom it may concern' to say that she's sorry for stealing a pretty rock. She says she'll even do some extra chores and will give money to the church 'as a sacrifice'.

考琳写信给“有关人士”说，她对偷了一快漂亮的石头表示歉意。她说她甚至会做一些额外的家务，还会捐钱给教会以“作为赎罪供品”。

With eight sad faces at the bottom of her letter, she is clearly very sorry. It must have been a very pretty rock indeed.

在她的信的结尾处画了八个悲伤的脸部表情，显然她感到十分抱歉。那块石头应该是一块非常漂亮的石头。

Every grandparent likes to receive a good thank you letter.

每位祖父母都喜欢收到感谢信。

Dillon clearly knew this when he sent his grandma and grandpa a card for his present, despite not being able to remember what it was. At least he was honest!

狄伦给他的爷爷奶奶写感谢卡片时，肯定也清楚知道这一点，虽然他不记得爷爷奶奶送的礼物是什么，至少他是诚实的！

And some kids just say it like it is. 'I am sorry your about to die,' Mitchell wrote to his grandfather in hospital. It's okay though, because he drew a nice smiley face in the corner.

而有些孩子们只会实话实说。“我很遗憾，您就要死了。”这是米切尔写给住院的祖父的信。不过这没关系，因为他在角落里画了一张漂亮的笑脸。

Vocabulary:

unflattering: 直白的

simile: 比喻

veteran: 老兵