愚人节整蛊指南[1]

April Fools' Day is fast approaching, so whether you choose to prank your significant other, your BFF, or your entire office, it's time to come up with a game plan NOW. Your trickery should follow this basic rubric: 1) funny and 2) harmless. Not harmless in a way that squeezes all the fun out of it. Yes, a screaming reaction is usually good… but only when it's followed by a screaming fit of laughter.

愚人节就在眼前，想要整蛊你的另一半、好朋友或者整个办公室的同事，现在就赶紧行动起来吧。不过，你的整蛊行为应该遵循以下两条原则：1）有趣，2）无害，玩笑造成的伤害一定不能大于制造的乐趣。的确，听到被整蛊的人尖叫是很好，当然后面跟着笑声才行。

For example, George Clooney has pulled many a questionable stunt to earn the Hollywood title of Chief Mischief-Maker, and everyone hates that guy. JK, everyone LOVES that guy! Learn everything you can from that guy — do the poor man's version of all his famous pranks — BUT just remember: he's ultra-handsome, ultra-rich, and ultra-charming, and he could get away with murder if he wanted to. The rest of us, however, are not George Clooney, so we need to make sure that no one gets hurt.

比如，乔治·克鲁尼曾经上演过不少出格的玩笑，以至于在好莱坞圈子里被称为“首席搞怪官”，每个人都恨死他了。唉，我是开玩笑啦，大家都很爱他！要多向乔叔学习，可以来几个草根版的克鲁尼整蛊。不过要切记：他超级帅，超级有钱，而且超级有魅力，他甚至可以逃脱谋杀罪名。我们可不是乔治·克鲁尼，所以开玩笑的时候记得不要伤害到别人。

Folks, so go forth with these 10 April Fools' Day pranks, and make merry!

大家都来试试以下这十个整蛊点子吧，愚人节快乐！

1. Hogwarts acceptance letters

霍格沃兹录取通知书

Got any friends waiting to hear back on their college or grad school applications? Any of them happen to be huge fans of Harry Potter? Well, have I got the perfect prank for you — faux acceptance letters to Hogwarts! Make them extra formal and official-looking to have your friends wondering “what the hell is going on?!?!”

有同学在等待大学或研究生录取通知吗？他们是哈利波特迷吗？如果是，那么这个点子刚好适合他们。尽量将信的外表造得正式一些，这样你的朋友就会想到底发生了什么事。

2. Horrifying pickled head

可怕的腌制脑袋

This one is especially great if you still live at home. Picture this: your dear, sweet mom opens the fridge to reveal her beloved daughter's decapitated head in a pickle jar. That mental image will spark joy and laughter for years to come — but only after you manage to calm her down.

如果你还住在家里，这个点子就特别棒。想象一下，你亲爱的妈妈打开冰箱的时候却看到她深爱的女儿的头被剁下来放到罐子里腌制会是什么表情。如果你能成功地安抚你老妈，这个恶作剧将成为你们好几年的谈资。

3. Eating pudding out of a mayo jar

将蛋黄酱罐子装满布丁

This is a weird one, but I love it. Clean out a jar of mayo and fill it with vanilla pudding. Then the next day at work, casually pull it out and start eating straight from container. The idea of it is so disgusting that by the time 5 o'clock rolls around, Betsy the office busybody will have convinced all your coworkers to join her in staging an intervention. April Fool's mission: accomplished.

将蛋黄酱罐子洗干净，在里面装满香草布丁。第二天工作的时候把它拿出来直接开吃。看到你这样吃，同事会觉得恶心，有碎嘴的人还会发动所有同事过来阻止你。你的愚人节任务就可轻易完成。

4. Your lucky day (not)

看别人捡钱

There's always the classic supergluing coins to a busy sidewalk spot and watching people try (unsuccessfully) to pick them up. Just don't follow this prankster's lead, leave wet glue on the ground, and cause a panic. There were some fake bills floating around my neighborhood last month and I was psyched out literally every time I saw one… and every time I would laugh and think, “Dammit, you got me again!”

看来往的人试着捡起一块被强力胶粘在地上的硬币，非常好玩。你可以在地面上涂上胶水，让人们惊慌一下。上个月我们家附近时不时会飘着一些假币，我每次看到都很激动……每次我都会笑着想，“可恶，你又骗到我了！”

5. Yummy office supply salad, courtesy of Jim Halpert

美味的办公室沙拉

Jim was prank master on The Office, constantly besting Dwight in their battle of the wits. As the show progressed, he moved on to more epic, long game mischief, but at the end of the pilot he makes jello with Dwight's stapler, and it's one of the cleanest, most delightful gags of the entire series. In real life, though, this prank is probably best played on a friend.

在《办公室》这部情景喜剧中，Jim是里面的恶作剧大师，在与Dwight的战斗中，他屡战屡胜。他曾将Dwight的订书机放到了果冻里。在现实生活中，这种恶作剧最好与朋友一起玩。

6. Soap that just won't lather

不会起泡的肥皂

Do you have an anal retentive roommate? Does she stare you down whenever you eat without a plate? You know what they say — revenge is a dish best served in the shower! Cover your uptight roommate's soap with a healthy coat of clear nail polish, and she'll be flummoxed as to why she can't lather. Ah, good clean fun.

你有一位非常挑剔的室友吗？你吃东西不用盘子的时候她是否会盯着你以免你把食物残渣掉到地上？复仇的最好时机就是她洗澡的时候！在你那位室友的肥皂上涂上透明的护甲油，她肯定会奇怪为什么肥皂不起泡。啊，简直太好玩了。

7. Turn your coworker's world upside down

把你同事的电脑桌面倒过来

This one's not a show-stopper, but it is super easy, and tame enough for almost any office. When your (hopefully good-natured) coworker heads off for a bathroom break, hit Ctrl+Alt+Down Arrow to flip the screen on his or her PC upside down. The antidote is simple: Ctrl+Alt+Up Arrow… but it's probably going to take them a frustrated (read: funny) five minutes to figure that out.

这个不是那么好笑，但容易操作，而且可以在任何办公场所使用。趁你的同事去厕所的时候，同时按住Ctrl+Alt+向下的箭头就能将电脑屏幕上的内容颠倒过来……返回操作就是Ctrl+Alt+向上的箭头，不过他们可能要花5分钟才能将屏幕调回来。

8. Brown E's

巧克力布朗尼(棕色的E)

If you like puns and tricking hungry, innocent tummies with the promise of delicious fudgy chocolate for the bait-and-switch of construction paper, then this will be right up your alley — a pan of brownies on the outside with inedible brown letter E's on the inside! No oven required to bake up this April Fool's trick, but you may have a hangry mob on your hands once your prank is revealed… don't say I didn't warn you!

如果你喜欢双关语，又乐于用美味的巧克力蛋糕做诱饵整一整身边的吃货，这一招绝对适合你。炮制一盘外包锡纸上写有巧克力布朗尼字样的假甜点，里面装着的却是棕色纸剪出来的E！做这款“蛋糕”自然用不到烤箱，不过，真相败露后，你可能会被一群又气又饿的吃货围攻，别怪我没提醒你哦！

9. Theoretical wet floor

小心地滑

Guys, it's H2O the molecular model, not H2O the actual water! LOL, now THAT is a doozy!!! *Sighs, shrugs shoulders* To be fair, I'm not the target demo, but if you've got access to the right equipment and a brainy, captive audience, then I predict you'll make a splash with this April Fool's Day prank. Here's looking at you, nerds.

同学们，洒在地上的不是真正的水，而是构成水的H2O水分子模型！哈哈哈，这一招太出彩了！旁边一堆人耸肩，叹息。。。不过，我不是这个玩笑的目标人群，如果你手里有合适的材料，又有一群知识渊博的观众，这个点子肯定能在愚人节大放异彩。哈哈，看你们的了。

10. Toilet explosion

厕所爆炸

This walks the line in terms of harmlessness, but oh my G, it would scare the bejesus out of me! In fact, maybe it's the thought that counts with this stunt. I advise you to NOT actually do it, but just think about how scary it would be. POP! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yup, that's good enough.

这个恶作剧有点可怕，真的会吓到别人。其实，我觉得单单有这个想法就够了。我建议你不要真的做这种事。想一想这个玩笑的后果有多吓人，就够了。

Happy April Fool's, y'all! Just remember: always ask yourself, “What Would George Clooney Do?,” and keep in mind that the first rule of April Fools' Day is safety.

愚人节快乐！只要记住，永远问问你自己“乔治·克鲁尼会做什么？”并永远记住愚人节的第一要义是安全。