我看张爱玲

我最喜欢的作家要算是张爱玲了。对她，我有莫名的感情。我应该离她很远，可她却很是真实地经常站在我的面前。那种表情冷漠。

My favorite writer is Zhang Ailing. For her, I have inexplicable feelings. I should be far away from her, but she always stands in front of me. That expression is cold.

认识她的开始并不是因为她的作品，而是那张充满异艳的照片，那时的她青春焕发，头发微卷，身穿一套华丽的衣裳，头轻轻向上昂，那么骄傲不羁，在那种年代这样的表情应有不同的故事。我欣赏一个女子拥有这样的表情。这张照片告诉我，这不是个普通的女子，她应该有她所值得傲慢，有她放任不羁的权力，有她独特的个性。在那个时代，这样的女子值得了解。于是我便知道了她——张爱玲。

It was not because of her works that I met her at the beginning, but because of the photo full of different colors. At that time, she was young and radiant, with curly hair, wearing a set of gorgeous clothes, and her head gently raised. She was so proud and uninhibited. In that era, such an expression should have a different story. I appreciate the expression a woman has. This picture tells me that this is not an ordinary woman. She should have the arrogance she deserves, the power of her laissez faire, and her unique personality. At that time, such women were worth learning. So I know her - Eileen Chang.

一直以来我并不知道她的显赫家族，也不清楚她的感情纠葛。对我而言，张爱铃只是一个拥有独特性格离我不远的女子。她没有什么值得炫耀的地方，她只是一个女子，偶尔写写文章，从她的眼睛看来的世界，有她独特的味道。我喜欢从她的眼睛去观视那个世界。那个我无法亲身经历过的世界。

I have never known her distinguished family or her emotional entanglement. For me, Zhang Ailing is just a woman who has a unique character not far from me. She has nothing to show off. She is just a woman. She writes articles occasionally. The world from her eyes has her unique taste. I like to see the world from her eyes. The world I can't experience.

最喜欢她的散文，那种独有女人的眼光去审视的大千世界，那种冷漠的表情，似乎就出现在我的面前，然后轻轻一笑。不知她到底是轻视还是骄傲。有时候我会想，她凭什么那么冷漠，她凭什么那么超然，她凭什么站在那个彼岸看着这里的喧闹繁杂。她到底凭些什么？

I like her prose most, the world that is examined with the unique woman's eyes, and the indifferent expression, which seems to appear in front of me, and then smile gently. I don't know whether she despises or is proud. Sometimes I wonder why she is so indifferent, why she is so detached, why she stands on the other side and looks at the noise and complexity here. What is she for?

只是，虽然那么喜爱她，但真正读过她的作品却是少之又少。那个被黎明，张曼玉演绎的《半生缘》我却全然不知其内容，还有那些很负盛名的作品。听说，台湾把许多张爱玲的作品都搬上了银幕，我不知道是否买座，是否叫好。只是，那是她的故事，她对世界的看法，那些人的喧闹、娇情都是毫无关系。懂她的人，会默默看着她的任意，她的纵情。

However, although I love her so much, I really read her works very little. I don't know the content of "half of life" performed by liming and Zhang Manyu, and those famous works. It's said that Taiwan has put a lot of Eileen Chang's works on the screen. I don't know if I want to buy a seat or if I'm good. Just, that's her story, her view of the world, the noise and coquetry of those people have nothing to do with it. People who understand her will silently watch her arbitrary, her indulgence.

也许我不应该说张爱玲是我最喜爱的作家。我对她的作品并不熟悉，也并不是为她的灵气所吸引。我只是欣赏她的个性，想去了解她，想明白她的世界为何那么荒凉，她的表情那么冷漠。我只是想通过她的文字了解她，她想象中的世界总是折射出她的世界。我只是因为欣赏她转入而欣赏她的文字。那可谓爱屋及乌了。

Maybe I shouldn't say that Eileen Chang is my favorite writer. I'm not familiar with her works, and I'm not attracted by her aura. I just appreciate her personality, want to understand her, want to understand why her world is so desolate, her expression is so cold. I just want to understand her through her words. The world she imagined always reflects her world. I just appreciate her writing because I appreciate her turning in. That's love and love.

我心里的张爱玲张扬而不露声色，灵气而充满荒凉。我想看清她的一切，却只有一片落叶。

In my heart, Eileen Chang is loud and quiet, smart and desolate. I want to see her all, but only a leaf.