如何与伴侣一起愉快地在家办公？专家给你支招

疫情迫使人们在家办公，也让很多夫妻有机会看见对方工作的样子。但是，一起过日子和一起工作毕竟不太一样，要怎么做才能和这个“新同事”保持融洽又默契的关系呢？

Photo by Crew on Unsplash

1. Address the elephant in the room

把心照不宣的问题摆到桌面上来谈

Knowing what your partner does is one thing, but seeing them in action is another.

知道你的伴侣是干什么工作的是一回事，但是看到他们真实的工作状态又是另外一回事。

"We are forced into the intimacy, not just with spouses, but also with kids or whoever else is in the home," said Karen Bridbord, a psychologist in New York City.

纽约心理学家凯伦·布瑞德博尔德说：“我们被迫在一起密切相处，不只是和配偶，还有和家里的孩子或其他人一起。”

The first step in making this situation work is to talk about it. Talk about any insecurities you may have whether it's participating in a video meeting or being eavesdropped on and what you need in terms of a work environment. Then create a schedule and set boundaries when it comes to separating work life and personal life.

应对这种局面的第一步就是交谈。谈一谈你在参加视频会议或旁边有人偷听时会有的不安全感，以及你需要的工作环境。然后制定出日程安排，设定工作和个人生活的界限。

"Have a more general conversation about concerns: what are you worried about vis-à-vis work -- your partner seeing you work being one of those -- and why you worry about them," said Jennifer Petriglieri, author of "Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive in Love and Work".

《双职工夫妻如何在爱情和事业上双丰收》的作者詹妮佛·佩翠格里尔瑞说：“在平时聊天时谈谈你的担忧：你对面对面工作的担忧，包括你不喜欢伴侣看你工作，以及你担忧的原因。”

vis-à-vis['vizəvi]: 面对面，相对着

In this way, you're more likely to evoke empathy from the partner which will help negotiate boundaries.

这样你更容易唤起伴侣的同理心，对方也将帮助你协调界限问题。

2. Provide an inside look

让对方了解你的工作内幕

Sometimes, our partners only hear the bad stuff about work: the micromanaging boss, that loud co-worker and the impossible deadlines.

有时候，我们的伴侣只听到关于工作的负面信息：管头管脚的老板、嗓门很大的同事和极不合理的工期。

But being forced to work out of the same office now can help change perceptions and even help partners and kids better understand what we do all day. And that's not a bad thing.

但是现在被迫在一处工作有助于改变伴侣对你工作的认知，甚至有助于伴侣和孩子更好地理解我们每天在忙什么。这不是一件坏事。

Make your work part of the daily conversation by talking about what you're working on and why it's important to you, suggested Petriglieri.

佩翠格里尔瑞建议，每天都聊聊你工作的内容，以及为什么它对你来说很重要。

"When everyone understands the priorities and why they are important, we're more likely to be respectful of boundaries and appreciate each other's work space."

“当每个人都理解应当优先处理的事情，以及为什么这些事情很重要，我们更可能尊重界限和对方的工作空间。”

3. Use project management tactics

运用管理项目的技巧

Tackle this situation like you would a challenge at the office: get organized, communicate and delegate.

像应对职场挑战一样来应对当前的局面：有条有理、沟通交流、分派任务。

That means defining everything that needs to be done, including child care, cleaning and cooking, and then delegating.

这意味着明确每件需要做的事情，包括看孩子、打扫和做饭，然后分配任务。

Having daily meetings to plan or assess the day or documenting all the responsibilities can help keep everyone on track.

每天开个会，计划、评估当天的工作或记录所有职责，这有助于每个人步入正轨。

4. Avoid treating each other like colleagues

不要把伴侣当同事来对待

You might be learning that your spouse is a fan of all the office clichés or holds too many meetings -- but it's best to keep that to yourself.

你可能了解到你的伴侣很爱说办公室的陈词滥调，或者开很多会，但你最好不要说破。

Even if you think your intentions are good, don't offer any unsolicited feedback when it comes to your partner's work style.

即使你认为自己的出发点是好的，但对于伴侣的工作方式不要主动提出意见。

And don't mistake complaining as an opportunity to critique.

另外，也不要把伴侣的抱怨当成批评的机会。

"Even if a partner is complaining about work, you shouldn't see that as an invitation or opportunity to provide critical feedback," said Anthony Chambers, chief academic officer at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. "Allow them to vent and be heard."

美国西北大学家庭研究所的首席学术官安东尼·钱伯斯说：“即使伴侣在抱怨工作，你也不应该将其视为请你提供批评性意见的机会。让他们全都说出来，你听着就好。”

5. Don't go tit for tat

不要斤斤计较

These working conditions aren't ideal for many people right now -- especially if you are juggling kids and other care giving responsibilities. It can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but try not to keep score of who is doing what around the house, or whose work is more pressing.

当前的工作条件对很多人来说都不理想，尤其是在你还要兼顾孩子和其他护理职责时。这会让你感觉不堪重负、精疲力尽，但尽量不要计较对方在家付出的劳动量，或者谁的工作更紧迫。