恋爱中,两人浓情蜜意,你已经带他/她见过了你的亲戚朋友,但对方却迟迟不带你出现在社交圈里。不管他/她有多少理由还是借口,你都要提高警惕了,ta有可能这是在“隐瞒恋情”。
随着“ghosting”、“breadcrumbing”等恋爱名词的出现,恋爱已经成了社交雷区。
Ghosting:突然中断与交往对象的所有联系,好似人间蒸发,即“不辞而别”。
Breadcrumbing:向多个异性发出暧昧短信调情,但没有深入发展的打算,即“玩暧昧”。
而时下,恋爱中又一有害的新趋势出现了:隐瞒恋情(stashing)。
据英国《都市日报》报道,stashing的意思是指你已经带交往对象见过自己的家人朋友,而对方却迟迟不带你去见其家人或朋友。
如果你刚好中枪了,那可要提高警惕了,因为这很可能意味着对方不想与你长期发展。
Dating expert Jo Hemmings told FEMAIL: 'It's the point when you've embraced someone into your life, but they haven't welcome you into the fold.
恋爱专家乔•海明斯告诉《每日邮报》女性专栏:“问题就在这儿,你已让某个人融入了你的生活,而对方却不欢迎你加入他的生活。
'Most likely it's because you're being played a bit. They could be someone who doesn't think of you as a long-term prospect, or they don't think you're special enough to have brought you into their circle of friends.'
“因为你很有可能被耍了,对方可能根本不想与你长期发展,或者他们认为你不够特别,因此没有让你融入他的朋友圈。”
However, she says that there could be some legitimate reasons why they haven't introduced you to their friends and family yet, in the early stages of a relationship.
不过,她还表示,在恋爱初期,他们采取这种做法可能还有其他合理的理由。
'It could be just that they're comfortable with your friends, and haven't been bothered to introduce you to theirs yet', Jo explained. 'Or they're worried that you won't like their friends'.
乔解释道:“也可能只是对方与你朋友相处很自在,但是还不想费心把你介绍给自己的朋友,或者是担心你不喜欢他的朋友。”
But she says that you should definitely question them on why they've not introduced you yet, if they've already met your friends.
但她表示,如果对方已经见过你的朋友了,你还是该问问为什么还没有把你介绍给他朋友。
'They might say something like "my friends are crazy, you won't like them", but you can always ask to meet one or two of their friends, or their friends who are in relationships,' she said.
她说:“对方可能会说‘我朋友都是一群疯子,你不会喜欢的’诸如此类的话,但你还是可以要求见对方一两个朋友,或者对方那些已脱单的朋友。”
If they still won't agree to let you meet them after discussing it, then alarm bells should be ringing.
如果之后对方还是不同意带你去见朋友,那就要提高警惕了。
Jo said: 'There are ways to head it off at the pass, but the question will resurface again as you move into the next phase of your relationship.
乔说:“这个问题现在可能会被抛在脑后,但当你们进入下一个恋爱阶段时,它会再次出现。”
'You'd start to question what kind of person they are and why they're not introducing you to their friends. You'd get an instinct that something isn't right.'
“你会开始思考对方是怎样的人,为什么不把你介绍给他的朋友。你的直觉会告诉你哪里有些不对劲。”
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