老外在中国：年轻人不爱结婚？不要轻易放弃你的幸福

如今，越来越多的中国年轻人选择不再步入婚姻殿堂，转而专注于自己的事业，就算同居也不结婚。为什么年轻人对婚姻望而却步？来听听英国小哥方丹的看法。

By Greg Fountain

More and more young Chinese are declining to tie the knot these days, opting instead to focus on their careers or even cohabit without ever going through the nuptials.

如今，越来越多的中国年轻人选择不再步入婚姻殿堂，转而专注于自己的事业，就算同居也不结婚。

A survey conducted this summer by the Center for Population and Development Policy Studies in Shanghai found that nearly one in five men and one in eight women born between 1980-89 have never married.

今年夏天，人口与发展政策研究中心在上海进行的一项调查显示，在80后人群中，近五分之一的男性和八分之一的女性从未结过婚。

Figures released recently by the Ministry of Civil Affairs reflect this, with marriage rates trending downward from a peak of 9.92 per 1,000 people in 2017, while the number of divorces per 1,000 doubled in the decade through to last year.

民政部最近公布的数据也印证了这一点，结婚率在2017年达到峰值，每1000人中有9.92人已婚，此后开始下滑，同时，到去年为止，每1000人的离婚率在过去十年增长了一倍。

With a rapidly aging population, the thought of a younger generation unwilling or unable to walk along the traditional path of courtship toward marriage and procreation is obviously a cause for concern.

如今人口老龄化加速，年轻一代在婚姻和生育面前不愿或不能沿着传统道路走下去显然会引发担忧。

It could be a money issue. Weddings are expensive things, after all. I'm due to get married myself later this month so I know this fact all too well. Or maybe it’s a lack of time among a youth that is increasingly getting swept up in fast-paced, urbanized lifestyles.

这可能是金钱问题。毕竟，举办婚礼十分昂贵。我自己这个月底就要结婚了，所以我深知这一点。或许是年轻人被持续快节奏的都市生活淹没，没有时间考虑婚姻。

Though I’d hazard a guess that no small part of the reason is that marriage in today's world can seem like something of an anachronism.

但我斗胆猜测还有一个重要的原因就是，结婚在如今的世界似乎是一件赶不上潮流的事。

As a society, we attach special significance to it and, depending on your religious beliefs, it may hold much greater meaning for you than a simple piece of paper. But in the eyes of the law, that's all it is really - a contract between two people that can either be honored, or broken.

社会让我们赋予婚姻特殊的意义，根据不同的宗教信仰，它的含义也许远比简单的一纸婚书更深远。但在法律层面，这的确也就只是两个人之间的一纸合约，约定双方可以履行或者撕毁它。

There was a time when, even if you reneged on the terms of that contract (or no longer wished to be bound by it) you would find it exceedingly difficult to release yourself from its constraints.

在过去的年代，就算你违背了这一纸约定（或不想被它束缚），也会发现想从约束中解脱出来极其困难。

Fortunately, most of us no longer live in a world where the law, or social mores, keep us locked in unhappy marriages. But this gradual change in society has led to a consequent increase in divorce.

幸运的是，我们绝大部分人都不再生活在这样的世界，不再被法律和社会道德锁在不幸福的婚姻中。但是这种渐进的改变也导致了离婚率相应上升。

Which makes it easy to be cynical. And I get it, I really do. Marriage is a scary thing.

这件事很容易让人愤世嫉俗。不过我能理解，真的理解。婚姻的确是件让人害怕的事。

It’s a bet you make on another person. A risk you take despite the odds.

这是你在另一个人身上下的赌注。尽管胜算未明，你还是愿意去冒险。

That leap of faith can be too great for some to want to attempt it. Certainly, for the longest time, I thought it would be for me.

对于某些人来说，他们因为不敢相信而不愿去尝试。当然，有很长一段时间，我想我就是这样的。

But then I met the person who makes me truly happy, and who I do my darndest to make happy in return.

但后来我遇到了那个真正让我感到快乐的人，而我也愿意尽我所能让对方幸福。

And all that apprehension, that fear and concern. It didn’t go away. It didn't just magically disappear. It just didn’t seem to matter so much anymore.

于是，所有的那些忧虑、恐惧和担心……不，它们并没有就此消失，它们不会神奇般地突然消失，它们只不过不再那么重要了。

Because maybe that’s what love is - finding a person who makes your world a better place and gives you a reason to be.

因为也许这就是爱——找到一个让你的世界变得更美好的人，并给予你活下去的理由。

The thought of committing your life to someone may terrify you, but it can also reveal a far greater truth about yourself than you might ever have otherwise known.

把你的生活交付给某个人的想法可能会让你感到恐惧，但它也能挖掘出一个你从不知道的、更真实的自己。