湖南省长沙县实验中学2016届高三英语二轮复习书面表达复习重点话题指导专题08 健康饮食话题指导（教师版）

　　实例指导1――学生如何饮食

　　【写作任务】

　　如今随着人们生活水平的提高，市场上高脂肪、高热量、高蛋白的食品也越来越多；据一份调查表明学校中有五分之二的中学生属于胖子行列。从健康和美学的角度来讲，他们都希望能够减肥。

　　原因：

　　偏食挑食；不吃早餐；饮食过度；高热量食品

　　措施：

　　多吃蔬采、水果 ；饮食要规律

　　个人看法：饮食要平衡、合理……

　　请你结合生活实际就如何合理饮食发表自己的看法，写一篇120－150词的英语短文。

　　【教师点评】

　　本文紧扣主题, 结构分明，分段描述了不良的饮食习惯及其坏处，最后还表达了自己的观点。语言地道得体，词语和句型使用较规范，例如—些高级词；In terms of

　　, rather than , be particular about , do harm to , as far as I I'm concerned 等的应用，而且还注意到了过渡词汇的运用：however，and still , therefore，what’ s more等；在第二段的描述中避免了一味地运用first，second，third等，而是采用了some …some…others以及and still来清晰条理地写出了各种不良的饮食习惯。另外还使用了灵活句式：Therefore，we should have a balanced diet including vegetables and fruits，which is good for our health．这是一个句意充实，结构复杂的句子，其中包含一个现在分词短语作定语和一个非限制性定语从句，Only in this way can we keep fit and have enough energy to devote ourselves to study. ed，we should develop to study. 这是一个only +状语放在句首，句子要部分倒装的语法点。

　　文章的不足之处在于：开头段落就出现了两处明显的语法错误①①there are more and more 实例指导2—饮食与健康

　　【写作任务】

　　请根据以下要点写一篇120词左右的说明文，可适当扩展。

　　1．现象：随着生活水平的提高，越来越多的人逐渐意识到了饮食与健康之间的联系。他们的饮食合有丰富的蛋白质、维生素等。然而，还有很多人仍然没有意识到健康饮食的重要性。他们的饮食不科学，常吃一些含热量和脂肪过高的食品。

　　2．结果：由于这种不健康的饮食习惯，一些人开始发胖，癌症、心脏病这类疾病的发病率也与日俱增。

　　3．建议：人们应健康饮食，多吃蔬菜和水果，少吃肉，多做运动。

　　【写作指导】

　　这是一篇文字提示性作文，要求写一篇饮食与健康关系的短文。写作时切忌受中文提纲的制约，将书面表达变成翻译，造成语法结构和词汇上的单调。为避免遗漏要点，可先根据提示列出一些主要的词【学生习作】

　　With the improvement of people' s life, more and more people have realized the link between food and health, and they eat food which contains rich protein, vitamins and so on.

　　However, many people haven't known the importance of a healthy diet. They don't eat healthy food. They often eat food having too much fat and calories. As a result, many of them are becoming fat, and illnesses, such as cancer, heart disease are increasing.

　　Therefore, it is important for us to realize the importance of eating the fight kinds of food. We should eat healthily. We should have more vegetables, more fruits and less meat. Moreover, we should also take enough exercise so that we. can keep fit.

　　【教师点评】

　　1．总体评价：

　　作者能紧扣主题，从有些人不正确的饮食现象出发，写到这种做法对健康造成的影响，最后提出建议，环环紧扣。全文用词地道，行文漉畅，同时一些复杂结构的使用也表现出作者较强的驾驭语言的能力。

　　2．错误更正：

　　①realized应改为have realized表示人们“已经意识到”。

　　②去掉也there are

　　③吃的东西应是“食物”而不是“饮食”，所以这儿diet应改为food。

　　④exercise在作‘‘锻炼”讲时，是不可数名词，所以应把exercises改为exercises。

　　实例指导3—睡眠不足

　　【写作任务】

　　根据下表反映的内容，写一篇150词左右的短文，向同学们发起倡议，确保睡眠充足，远离睡眠不足可能带来的危害。

　　要点序号 关键单词和短语

　　① the average sleep time，kids aged 7 to 9, teen-agers, below the standard.

　　② two thirds, have the habit of, noon break, have no time to do.

　　③ two reasons, account for.

　　④ the main cause, due to, the early high-school start time

　　⑤ stay up late, undoubtedly lead to, insufficient sleep.

　　⑥ lack of sufficient sleep, put adolescents at risk, difficulties in school, including sleepiness, poor concentration.

　　⑦ have negative effects on, body development.

　　⑧ take measures, push back.

　　⑨ form a good habit of, go to bed early

　　⑩ make sure, sufficient sleep

　　第四步 恰当使用句型，连词成句。

　　在连词成句时要尽量做到： 套用常用句型和句式多变。一篇文章在表达准确的前提下，应做到单句、并列句、复合句恰当安排，长短句有机结合，非谓语动词及介词短语恰当使用，增加文章的生动性，为文章增加亮点。同时，一定要避免些常规句法错误的出现，如：无主语或无谓语动词，时态、语态错误，滥用逗号等。将上述提炼出来的关键单词和短语连词成句为：

　　①The average sleep time of kids aged 7 to 9 and teen-agers is below the standard.

　　②Two thirds don’t have the habit of noon break or they have no time to do that at all..

　　③ There are at least two reasons accounting for the problem.

　　④The main cause is due to the early high-school start time;

　　⑤Some of us like staying up late, which undoubtedly leads to insufficient sleep.

　　⑥There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration;

　　⑦This would have negative effects on their body development and health.

　　⑧The government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times.

　　As is shown by the figure in the survey, the average sleep time of kids aged 7 to 9 and teen-agers is below the standard. To make things worse, two thirds don’t have the habit of noon break or they have no time to do that at all. These worry us a lot.

　　There are at least two reasons accounting for the problem. The main cause is due to the early high-school start time. Besides, some of us like staying up late, which undoubtedly leads to insufficient sleep.

　　There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration. In addition, this would have negative effects on their body development and health.

　　Fortunately, the government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times. As for us teenagers, it is important to form a good habit of going to bed early. Let’s make sure that we all have sufficient sleep.

　　5. But it is generally believed that…

　　6. It is impossible to …

　　7. There is no doubt that…

　　8. Recent research has also revealed an association between sleep deprivation and poorer grades.

　　9. Compared with students whose schools maintained earlier start times, students with later starts reported getting more sleep on school nights, being less sleepy during the day, …

　　10. …percent of high school students routinely sleep less than 6.5 hours on school nights, and ...

　　11. In conclusion, I think that…

　　12. I’m greatly convinced/assured that…

　　13. On the whole , it is high time that every one ....

　　14. We, therefore, can make clear from the above discussion that …

　　实例指导4—Keep a Happy Heart

　　由于面临着学业和考试的沉重压力,不少中学生出现了心理负担过重、身体处于亚健康状态的情况,而这对他们的学习和生活来说意味着一种恶性循环。针对这些情况,学校开展了"Keep a Happy Heart"的宣传活动。你班同学在英语课上也就此开展了如何轻松应对学习生活的讨论,现在请你谈谈自己的看法。词数:120左右。

　　建议。

　　初稿:With the increasing competition, students like us are facing more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study habits.      In my opinion it is urgent to find a good way for us to relax and to maintain an optimistic lifestyle. First, we can turn to sports. When I feel depressed I often do some running, which can keep me energetic and strengthen my will. Secondly, getting a good friend to talk. Find someone to listen to you. Open your heart and accept some advice, which can help you out of the trouble. Thirdly, we can make a good arrangement to our study. I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order.     Just like a saying goes, "Tomorrow is a new day", try to find the best way to develop an optimistic lifestyle.

　　1. 这篇习作的内容充实,较为全面地论述了写作任务中所要求的要点；篇章布局较为合理,作者在论述的过程中思路较为清晰,注意到了连接词的运用,行文较为流畅自然。

　　2. 文章存在的主要问题:

　　①文章整体结构上不够连贯畅通,段与段之间缺乏必要的过渡句。例如第一段最后应加上一句话来承上启下。

　　②文中有些句子指代不明,读来让人感觉有些突兀。如第二段中"I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order."这句话的意思就不够明确。

　　③文中还有些地方出现了时态不一致、主谓不一致的问题。如第一段中"Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study."这句话中,同时并列使用了"cannot"和"became", "became"应改为"become",而"lead"应改为"leads"。

　　成稿:

　　With the increasing competition, young students today are under more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed, which can lead to a low efficiency in studying. Then, what should we do to stay happy and to study more

　　efficiently?     In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and our studies. Here are some suggestions of how to do this. First, I think we should do more sports. When I feel depressed, I often go running, which can keep me feeling energetic and help put me in a good mood. Secondly, I think we can turn to our friends, who may help us out of our trouble. Thirdly, we should make a good schedule for studying and relaxing. This will help us know exactly when to study and when to relax.     In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.

　　实例指导5—吸烟与健康

　　【写作任务】

　　请根据以下提示，以smoking is bad for your health 为题写一篇字左右的文章；

　　1．吸烟有害健康：烟草中最少含有两种有害物质――焦油(tar)和尼古丁。它们损害常，影响呼吸。

　　2.吸烟能引起许多疾病：那些经常吸烟的人牙齿不好；许多烟民也因吸烟而常常咳嗽；吸烟引起的最严重的痰病之一是肺癌，许多人被这种可怕的痰病夺去了生命，

　　3．吸烟不仅有害烟民的健康，也毒害着不吸烟的人，尤其是妇女儿童。

　　4．劝告人们不要吸烟；

　　【写作指导】

　　由于吸烟的危害现在是一个热门话题，无论成年人还是青少年都有着大量的烟民，因此要想写好这方面的题目，要注意以下几点：

　　1. 吸烟的危害，这个可以用你了解到的知识，只有写好危害才能对你的观点进行有力的支持。

　　Smoking is bad for your health

　　We all know that smoking is bad for health. This is because a cigarette includes at least two harmful substances -- tar and nicotine, which will damage the lung and affect breathing. What' s more, smoking causes many illnesses. Those who often smoke have bad teeth. A lot of people always cough because of smoking. One of the most serious illnesses that caused by smoking is lung cancer. And many people die of this terrible disease. In addition, smoking is not only bad for smokers, but also bad for non-smokers, specially(~) women and children.

　　Smoking is no good for health. Therefore, for the health of yourselves and also the people around you, please keep away from smoking.

　　③specially改为especially。“尤其特别”一般要用especially表示，而specially意为“专门地；特意”。

　　4．锦上添花：·

　　．

　　①what's more改为what’s worse更符合主题。

　　②结尾段开头可以加上总结性的词汇(组)， 如：in a word；in conclusion。

　　【贵在总结】

　　通过以上分析我们可以得出以下写作策略和常用词汇及句型。

　　1.开门见山直入主题。常用句型有：Everyone knows ...; It is known to all / everyone that ..4 We all know that .../

　　As we all know; Almost everyone know the fact that...

　　2．根据提示详细描述。描述时注意先后顺序，井注意使用恰当的过渡词使全文通顺、流畅。尽量多使用一些高级，词汇或结构较复杂的句于；以增加文章的亮点或采分点，避免全篇句式过于单一。常用词汇和句型有： not only... also ...; as well as; be bad for; do harm to; cause; lead to; result in; therefore , moreover; nevertheless 等等。

　　3．提出建议或总结全文。常用句型和词汇有：Therefore, ... should give up /

　　stop ...; keep away from 等等。

　　实战演练

　　据估计，在中国吸烟者约占总人口的一半，而且烟民的年龄越来越年轻，甚至一些中学生也在抽烟。请你就此看看你的看法。

　　Smoking Is Harmful

　　It has been estimated that smokers have made up half of the population in China. And the smokers are becoming younger and younger,  even including some middle school students.       Nowadays more and more people have realized smoking can do harm to people's health. However, some people still enjoy smoking. Why? Because some of them think it is a kind of fashion, some think it is of great fun and others, think that smoking can refresh themselves.       In fact,  smoking is a bad habit. It can cause a lot of diseases. Meanwhile smoking is a waste of money. Besides, careless smokers may cause dangerous fires.       Smoking is harmful and it is not only bad for smokers themselves, but also bad for non-smokers.       Therefore, I hope all the smokers can give up smoking for themselves and also for the people around them.

　　众所周知,健康的生活方式会让人终生受益,现在请你写一篇短文来谈谈如何养成良好的生活习惯和健康的生活方式,发表在班级墙报上与同学们共享。词数:120左右。

　　1．没有充分的休息和体育活动，不可能保持身体健康。

　　2．学生学习之余，可以从事各种各样的娱乐(recreation)活动。许多人喜欢听音乐，看电视。但因为我们在室内呆的时间太长，用眼太多，最好能选择一些能加强肌肉运动的活动，如打篮球，踢足球，打乒乓球、游泳、跑步等。

　　3．大脑的活动需要经常调剂才能保持灵敏，活跃。

　　题目已经给出。字数：120左右。

　　On Recreation

　　It is impossible for us to keep fit unless we often take part in activities of recreation．

　　There are various kinds of games in our daily life after study．For example，listening to music，watching TV，playing chess，going to the cinema．But I think we’d better have more outdoor activities to supply our muscles with exercise because we usually sit too long in our classroom，and our eyes and brain get tired．So it’s a good idea to play basketball，football，table tennis，go swimming and do some running，even go for a picnic．

　　Our brain also needs changes to make it smart and active，Remember the old saying：“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy．

　　努力学习必须以好的身体做保证,如果只顾学习而不注意锻炼和休息,就不能全身心投入到学习中来。请以Work and Health为题,根据你自己的经历或者经验,写一篇短文,谈谈你的看法,投给学校英文校报。(词数110左右) 

　　Work and Health

　　How to Live a Healthy Life

　　According to a recent survey, more than 70 percent of the working people are considered to be "sub-healthy", which means they can get sick very easily.

　　In my opinion, this is because they’re not leading a healthy life. How can we lead a healthy life? Firstly we should mind our diet by avoiding too many sweets and food that contains a lot of fat. Instead, we should eat more fruits and vegetables, which are good for our health. Secondly, we should exercise every day no matter how busy we are. Only by exercising can we build up a strong body. Lastly, we should try to be happy every day and forget our troubles. Healthy people are usually happy. So enjoy your life every day!