【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语（通用版）二轮复习书面表达专题训练：技法3 丰富充实的细节信息（含解析）

　　技法3| 丰富充实的细节信息

　　开头好只是表象内容好才是真的好。具体的表达往往比泛泛而谈更能引起读者的共鸣。换句话说写作需要“真善美”尽量避免“假大空”。那么如何做到内容充实呢？答案就是注重细节。例如句子本身没什么毛病但是如果我们再具体一些我的哪位朋友？修理的是怎样的汽车？这样是不是会表达得更好。我们不妨把句子改成My friend his 12－year－old Santana.这样既增加了词数又充实了细节。请看下面的习作对比孰优孰劣不言而喻。写作要求：学校要举行一场题为“Turning a bad mood into a good one”的英语作文比赛要求你写一篇文章其中一个要点是如何调整心情。习作一：Keeping a good mood is of great importance.When you feel angry or anxious temper and we should always make ourselves happy.

　　习作二：We should learn to keep a good mood.Communicating with family members or friends is the best choice.Also listening to some peaceful music can be helpful.Reading is another way to stop being mad.

　　(2016·全国乙卷)假定你是李华暑假想去一家外资公司兼职已写好申请书和个人简历(resume)。给外教Ms Jenkins写信请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。

　　注意：1.词数100左右；

　　可以适当增加细节以使行文连贯。考生作文 点评与优化My English is very poorn meet a lot of difficulties in finding a job.So I must try my best to learn English well.If I can't learn English well，I can't find a good job. [细节信息点评]

　　(1)上面的作文虽然词数不算少但有用的句子却没有几个属于“假大空”。

　　(2)内容应围绕着让对方改正一些错

　　[尝试优化]

　　作文提升[参考范文][满分作文]perience，I plan to find a part－time job in a foreign capital company.I have already finished my job application form and personal resume.However you a letter，hoping to get your guide and suggestions.You can correct any mistakes you find in them. This summer I intend to take up a part－time job in a foreign companyng experience and meet new friends.My application and resume have been prepared and I sincerely hope you can help me polish them.Firstly，I'm wondering if you can help add some contents.Besides，if there are some mistakes in them，I hope you can help correct them.