One-upmanship

Reader question: In this headline – ABC News: One-upmanship on Senate Floor – What does one-upmanship mean here? Give more examples?

My comments: Senators are trying to win an argument against an opponent, a fellow Senator.

Here as well as anywhere, one-upmanship means essentially that I'm better than you are. Think of a competition, a game, a match. When one player goes "one up", he scores one more point than another player, or in other words he leads the opponent by one point.

In society at large and by general definition, one-upmanship is the game played in which participants, by skills fair or foul, try to make one seem better – sound better, looker smarter, feels superior. To look at it the other way around, it's a game to make others look inferior.

Examples abound. You don't have to search high up and low down for an example of one-upmanship. In fact, I can spend the next day giving one-upmanship examples. I won't do it of course – for it'll probably lead to a competitive reader remarking – "I can give one-upmanship examples nonstop for a week".

And I'd believe him. This said and point taken, still there are examples I feel like giving. Ruminate and see if you haven't come across or as a matter of fact engaged in similar conversations to the following:

A: I was born in Xinjiang.

B: I am from Beijing, the capital of the country. Xinjiang is the countryside.

A: Yeah, but Xinjiang is much bigger. And don't forget, my parents gave births to 12 children.

B: My parents bore 10. But I have 6 brothers, you only have 5.

A: Yeah, but I have 7 sisters.

B: I drive a Japanese car.

A: Mine is German. It's much bigger in size.

B: But my car is efficient, saves gas.

A: When I drive a car, I care not about gas.

B: It's not the gas, it's the environment.

A: I care more about the environment than you do. I went to pick up garbage in the mountains last summer.

B: I care about the environment more than you do – I have used only two plastic bags this month.

A: I use paper bags. Paper bags are more environmental than plastic, everybody knows it.

B: I plan to use my bare hands the next time I go to the supermarket.

A: Since college, I've gained on average a half kilo per year for the past 20 years.

B: That's nothing. I've gained 3 kilos per year.

A: Actually, I don't want the extra kilo. I've been trying to lose it for the past year.

B: I've been trying to lose 30 kilos, for five years.

A: Don't get me wrong. I am not worried about my weight.

B: I'm not at all worried about my weight. Every night, I sleep well on it.

A: Thing is, I have failed – Since I've embarked on this lose-a-kilo campaign, I've gained a kilo instead.

B: By your logic, I've failed much more than you have. I've gained 10 kilos ever since I first entertained the idea of perfect weight. In short, you're no competition.

A: I really want to give away my extra kilo, you see.

B: Every fat kilo I own, I want to give away for free.

...

Exaggerations aside, you get the picture. Right now in our culture – and not just in China but everywhere else – there's an overdose of one-upmanship, to say the least. People care so much about winning that they want to do it by all means and at all costs, often failing to realize that winning is losing because everything we gain we give away and give up.

Eventually of course. We even give up dough because the last time I checked, I still haven't found anyone who takes his money with him to squander in heaven, or to burn, with him no doubt, in hell. At the end of the day, everything we win, we give away.

The Great Gatesby of course gave all his money to charity. In so doing, the Microsoft man, who retired last week, also gave up the title of the richest man according to Forbes. And in so doing, Bill Gates, in my estimation at least, became one of the very richest men to ever roam the earth.