幽默英语巧记六级单词A部分（第一期）

　　Abide

　　Yeah, I got some speeding tickets. But Im a law-abiding citizen and Im not an offender. Im more like a speeding-ticket collector.

　　是的，我是收到过一些违规超速的罚单。不过我可是一个守法公民，而不是违法者。我更象一个超速罚单收藏家。

　　注：你因为超速被交警拦下后你敢这样对警察说吗?

　　Abolish

　　If everybody becomes middle-class, the middle-class will automatically be abolished. If everybody is in the middle, there is no middle. So Id rather to stay in the low class, or even negative class so you can be in the middle class.

　　如果人人都成了中产阶级，中产阶级将会被自动取消。如果人人都在中间，就没有中间。所以我宁愿呆在低的那个阶级，甚至负阶级，好让你们当中产阶级。

　　Absurd

　　You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

　　不尝试荒谬你就成就不了不可能的事。

　　注：人类历史上每次重大的科技进步一开始在常人看来都有点儿的荒谬。

　　Accommodate

　　Lord Emsworth had of those minds capable of accommodating but one thought at a time ---if that.

　　艾姆公爵的大脑一次只能容纳一种思想--如果他有的话。

　　注：他不仅一根筋，而且还可能没脑子。

　　Acquaint

　　Prosecutor: Your Honor, my opponent is a liar!

　　Defense attorney: Your honor, my opponent is a cheat!

　　Judge: Good, Im glad to see youre acquainted with each other.

　　公诉人：法官大人，我的对手是个说谎者!

　　辩护律师：法官大人，我的对手是个骗子!

　　法官：很好，很高兴你们相互认识。

　　Acquit

　　The judge told the prisoner that the jury had acquitted him on the charge of bigamy.

　　You are free to leave the court and go home.

　　Thank you. But which home shall I go to?

　　法官告诉犯人陪审团撤消对他重婚罪的指控。

　　你自由了，离开法庭回家吧。

　　谢谢，但我该回哪一个家?

　　addict

　　If you are addicted to knitting while eating, you should exercise some caution... especially with macaroni.

　　如果你吃饭时还沉溺于打毛衣，要小心点儿......特别是吃通心粉时。

　　注：别把毛线和通心粉弄混了。

　　There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they cant tell the truth without lying.

　　有些人沉湎于夸张，以至于他们不说谎就讲不了真话。

　　注：自相矛盾。

　　There is a division of labor, even in vice; some persons addict themselves to the speculation only, others to the practice.

　　劳动有分工，干坏事也不例外;一些人只沉溺于思考，一些人热衷于实践。

　　注：有些人先思考后实践，有些人先实践后思考。

　　Hi, Im Bill and Im an Internet addict. But Ive been off-line now for 4 days, 12 hours, and 8 minutes.

　　嗨，我是Bill，我是个网虫，不过我现在已经有4天零12个小时零8分钟没上网了。

　　注：形象地表现了不上网时分分秒秒的煎熬。

　　Adhere

　　Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.

　　严格坚持原则：顽固

　　注：你不说某人顽固，而说他严格坚持原则，这是说话的艺术，也是一种拍马屁的艺术。

　　Adolescent

　　Adolescence: I went to my sons school to see his guidance counselor. He told me my boy was out: Hed be back in one to three years.

　　青春期：我去我儿子的学校看望他的指导老师，他告诉我我儿子出去了，一到三年内就会回来。

　　注：青春期比较躁动，这小子一出去两三年都不回来。

　　Adore

　　In Ireland there is so little sense of compromise that a girl has to choose between adoration and pregnancy.

　　在爱尔兰很少有妥协的概念，女孩不得不在爱慕和怀孕之间作出选择。

　　注：如果女孩子想让男孩子爱慕她就不能怀孕，一旦怀孕，就把男孩子吓跑了，爱慕也就不存在了。

　　Why are babies like hinges?

　　Because they are things to adore.

　　为什么婴儿象铰链?--因为他们让人爱慕。

　　注：adore 与 a door谐音。 Because they are things to adore还可理解成：他们是门上的东西。

　　Adverse

　　By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another persons, I mean.

　　通过努力我们很容易学会忍受灾难，我的意思是，别人的灾难。

　　注：忍受别人的灾难还是要容易些。

　　A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat.

　　一个面对灾难微笑的人......可能找到了一个替罪羊。

　　注：一般来说面对灾难微笑的人意志力都比较坚强，也有一些人面对灾难的微笑和意志力无关，他们找到了替罪羊。

　　I fear nothing in the face of adversity, because theres no adversity in my dictionary, and what is more, I dont have a dictionary.

　　我面对灾难临危不惧，因为我的字典里没有灾难，我也没有字典。

　　Affirm

　　Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

　　输血前要确定血液是阴性还是阳性。

　　注：字面意思是：输血前要确定血液是肯定的还是否定的。

　　An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, Have you ever been arrested? He answered, No.

　　The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was Why? The applicant answered it anyway: Never got caught.

　　一个应聘者正填写应聘表格。填到是否被逮捕过?这个问题时，他回答：否。下一个问题是让回答是的人填为什么?应聘者填写：从没被抓住过。

　　注：一个诚实的应聘者。

　　Afflict

　　To bear other peoples afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare.

　　每个人都有足够的勇气忍受别人的痛苦。

　　注：别人发生可不幸的事我们有很多理由劝他，但当轮到自己头上，情况就完全不一样了。

　　艺术家的气质是一种折磨着业余爱好者的疾病，。

　　The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs.

　　注：业余爱好者没有艺术家的气质，但他们很多人留着长头发、戴着墨镜来弥补一下。

　　Agony

　　Ive never heard anything that so clearly suggests the agony of primitive man as your attempt to play the cello.

　　我从来没有这么清晰地听过你尝试演奏大提琴时所表达出来的原始人的痛苦。

　　注：原始人的痛苦是什么样的?

　　He looks like hes in great agony when he plays the cello, probably because he was dramatically ripped off when he bought it.

　　他演奏大提琴时显得非常痛苦，可能买大提琴时被人狠宰了一刀。

　　No doubt the real agony of Hell wont be the burning fires but having all the secret humiliations of your life played back to you in perpetuity and in stereo.

　　毫无疑问下地狱的真正痛苦不会是熊熊的烈火，而是把你一生中不被人所知的屈辱一遍又一遍立体声回放。

　　注：人生不容易，有很多的屈辱深深埋在心底，不想让别人知道。

　　Agreeable

　　No one can be as unagreeable as an uninvited guest.

　　没有谁象没有被邀请的客人那么让人不快的了。

　　注：

　　If you didnt buy me a drink, Id tell everyone you are not agreeable and very mean.

　　如果你不请我喝酒，我就会告诉别人你令人很不愉快，很小气。

　　在我看来一个令人愉悦的人就是同意我的人，你同意我的观点吗?

　　My ides of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Do you agree to my point?

　　I admit I would rather choose a wife who has the usual number of limbs ... and although one eye may be very agreeable, society has always been in favor of two.

　　我承认我宁愿选择一个四肢健全的妻子......尽管一只眼睛也可能很令人愉快，但世俗的偏见还是认为两只眼睛好。

　　注：世俗的偏见认为两只眼睛好，认为头发茂盛好。

　　Aide

　　Im the kind of person whod get a paper cut trying to open a Band-Aide.

　　我是那种想打开邦迪创可贴，却把手划破了的人。

　　注：运气不好，喝凉水都塞牙。

　　air-conditioning

　　If you want to just be warm in your room, please control yourself. -- From the instructions on a Japanese hotel air conditioner.

　　如果你只想要房间里暖和，请控制你自己--日本一家旅馆空调使用说明。

　　Most criminals actually work long hours, frequently in buildings without air-conditioning.

　　大部分罪犯实际工作时间很长，而且经常在没有空调的建筑物里。

　　注：要当罪犯必须要承受一些东西。

　　Why dont rabbits get hot in the summertime?

　　They have hare-conditioning.

　　为什么兔子在夏天不会觉得热?

　　它们有空调。

　　注：Hare与Air。

　　What gets colder as it warms up?

　　An air-conditioner.

　　什么东西热机后变冷?--空调

　　注：warm up：热机;变暖。

　　Album

　　Father, showing Sam the family picture album: And thats Mom and me on our wedding day.

　　Sam: Is that the day Mom came to work for us?

　　父亲给Sam看家庭相片册：这是你妈妈和我在我们的婚礼上。

　　Sam：是从那天妈妈来我们家开始给我们干活的吗?

　　Alcoholic

　　Americans accept that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if he doesnt drive theres something wrong with him.

　　美国人可以接受酒鬼、瘾君子、打妻子者，甚至记者，但如果他不开车，他一定有什么地方不对劲。

　　注：把记者和酒鬼、隐君子列在一起记者可能会不太高兴。

　　I think newspapermen might be better than alcoholics.

　　我觉着记者可能要比酒鬼好点儿。

　　Hi, Im Bill, and Im an alcoholic. I have not had a drink for three months and two days.

　　嗨!我叫Bill，是一个酗酒者。我已经有3个月零2天没有沾酒了。

　　注：形象地表达了酗酒者戒酒时度日如年的感觉。

　　An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do.

　　酗酒者是一个你不喜欢的喝得和你一样多的人。

　　注：意思是：你也是一个酗酒者。

　　alien

　　A spaceship from Mars landed right in the middle of the Boston Marathon. An alien popped out of the UFO and shouted to a runner going by, take me to your leader.

　　一艘火星来的飞船正降落在Boston马拉松队伍的中间，一个外星人从不明飞行物里跳出来冲着经过身边的选手喊，带我去见你们的头，

　　What do space alien eat for breakfast??

　　Flying sausage

　　外星人早饭吃什么?--飞行香肠

　　注：frying sausage与flying sausage

　　What do you say to a two-headed space alien?------Hello, hello.

　　你冲长着两个脑袋的外星人说什么?--你好，你好

　　Alienate

　　No one knows the worth of womans love untill he sues for alienation.

　　在他起诉分财产以前谁也不知道女人爱的价值。

　　注：这里说爱的价值就是财产。

　　Alleviate

　　It would be absolutely magical if we could alleviate our hunger with something that tasted like food.

　　如果我们吃一些味道象食物的东西能减轻饥饿，那绝对是个奇迹。

　　注：圣经上说耶稣凭空弄出了很多食物是个奇迹，味道象食物的东西可能是指喝啤酒。

　　Almighty

　　Oh, yes, he thinks hes God Almighty.

　　是的，他认为他是全能的上帝。

　　注：当问这个人是不是信教时，有人这么回答。

　　Alternate

　　Retirement is when millions of Americans finally have the opportunity to adopt an alternate lifestyle --- poverty.

　　退休是百万美国人终于有机会换一种方式生活了--贫穷。

　　注：退休以后挣钱就少了。

　　As you can see, we have alternating currents. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt.

　　你们都知道，我们用的是交流电，有时工作，有时不工作。

　　Alternate currents make people feel its unstable.

　　交流电总给人一种不稳定的感觉。

　　Ambitious

　　He had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful, ambitious, and successful than people who did not.

　　据他观察说谎的人在整体上要比不说谎的人更机智，更有雄心，更成功。

　　注：你同不同意这个结论。

　　ammunition

　　John: I suggest we wage a battle of wits.

　　Ron: Personally, I think youre low on ammunition.

　　John: 我建议我们发动一场智慧战争。

　　Ron：我个人认为你的弹药缺乏。

　　注：发动智慧战争是说充分开动脑筋，想一些好点子。

　　Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION

　　司机带着不到20美元的军火。

　　注：汽车标贴。意思是谁也别惹我，我车上有军火。：

　　Analyst

　　A policy analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.

　　政策分析师是一类道德水准低下得有资格当律师，不切实际得可以当神学家，迂腐得可以成为经济学家的人。

　　注：有些律师就知道挣钱，不关心什么正义和良心;有些神学家和实际一点都不着边，云山雾照;有些经济学家没有实际经验，做一些迂腐的预测。很多政策分析师比这些人好不到哪儿去。

　　Anecdote

　　When a man falls into his anecdotage it is a sign for him to retire from the world.

　　当一个人陷入自己轶事的追忆之中时，那就是他从这个世界退休的迹象。

　　注：人们每天很充实的时候，没时间追忆往事。

　　Angel

　　In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.

　　在天堂里天使不是什么特殊人物。

　　注：到了清华、北大各省市状元也就不那么突出了。

　　Appendix

　　The modern king has become a vermiform appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive, in danger of removal.

　　现代国王已经变成了阑尾：安静时没有用处;突出时有被割掉的危险。

　　注：你调侃自己处境很尴尬，也可以这么说：

　　Im like an appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive, in danger of removal.

　　我就象阑尾：安静时没有用处;突出时有被割掉的危险。

　　I had my appendix removed in order to run faster.

　　为了跑得更快点儿，我把阑尾都割了。

　　Wife: Why did you tear out the back pages of the new book?

　　Absent-minded doctor: Im sorry, dear. That section was labeled Appendix, and I took it out without thinking.

　　妻子：为什么你把这本新书的后面几页都撕掉了?

　　心不在焉的教授：对不起，亲爱的，那部分标着 阑尾 ，我想都没想就弄掉了。

　　注：Appendix：附录;阑尾

　　Applaud

　　What can I say? Applaud in my ear and Ill follow you anywhere.

　　我能说点儿什么呢?如果我耳边有掌声响着，我跟你们去哪儿都行。

　　注：讲演者希望来点儿掌声。

　　I like to hear applause. One day I passed a kindergarten, kids happened to be singing and clapping hands, and I stayed there for the whole morning.

　　我就愿意听掌声，有一天我路过一个幼儿园，小朋友正在练习拍手歌，我在那儿呆了一上午。

　　What speakers fear most is a poorly coordinated audience. People who cant sleep and applaud at the same time.

　　讲演者最害怕的是观众身体不协调，人们不能同时边睡觉边鼓掌。

　　Its not that they dont want to applaud for me, its because many fall asleep.

　　不是他们不愿意给我鼓掌，是因为很多人都睡着了。

　　Apt

　　A man bitten by a dog, no matter whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.

　　被狗咬了，不管是不是疯狗，人很容易疯。

　　注：他不想被狗咬，可是被狗咬了，所以他疯了这样的推理是否合乎逻辑。

　　If you have no enemies, you are apt to have the same predicament in regard to friends.

　　如果你没有敌人，你就容易陷入没有朋友的相同困境。

　　注：我同意这种观点。如果一个人没有敌人，他也就不是那么急切地拉拢一些朋友共同对付敌人。

　　When they come downstairs from their ivory towers, idealists are apt to walk straight into the gutter.

　　理想主义者从象牙塔里走下楼梯时，很容易直接走进下水道。

　　注：理想主义者在现实社会中要翻船。

　　Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become the victims of women who make advances to them.

　　不主动进攻女人的男人容易成为向他们发起进攻的女人的牺牲品。

　　注：不主动进攻女人的男人没有经验，女人稍微向他们进攻一点，他们就就范了。

　　Articulate

　　The more articulate, the less said is an old Chinese proverb that I just made up myself.

　　话说得越清晰，说得就越少是一个我自己刚编的古老的中国格言。

　　注：自相矛盾。

　　Aspire

　　Ive had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be.

　　我拥有这些书已经好几年了，它们代表了我曾经想成为什么样的人。

　　注：现在事过境迁，人物已非。

　　Ass

　　When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.

　　When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

　　当我取悦我的老板时，我在拍马屁;

　　当我的老板取悦他的老板时，他是在合作。

　　注：当你想说某人爱拍马屁时，你可以艺术地说你真善于和领导合作。

　　Assassination

　　Assassination is the extreme form of censorship

　　暗杀是资讯检查的极端形式。

　　注：如果某个报纸对资讯检查不管不顾，就派人把报纸老板杀掉。

　　Assimilate

　　We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile You Will Be Assimilated.

　　我们是微软，抵抗无济于事，你们将被消化吸收。

　　注：模仿微软说话的口气，微软对很多小的软件公司不是兼并，就是消灭。

　　Astronaut

　　Student:I enrolled at this college to learn how to be an astronaut.

　　Professor: hummm. I thought you came here to take up space.

　　学生：我上这所学校是来学习怎样成为一名宇航员。

　　教授：我还以为你来这是占空间来了。

　　注：教授的意思是这个学生除了占地方外，一无是处。

　　When does a boxer look like an astronaut?

　　When he sees stars.

　　拳击手什么时候象宇航员?

　　眼冒金星时。

　　Auction

　　Firefighter: Hey, Chief! Theres a 1959 pumper truck being auctioned today. Lets buy it.

　　Fire chief: What in the world would we do with an old, broken-down fire truck?

　　Firefighter: Well, we could use it for false alarms!

　　消防队员：嘿，头儿，今天有一辆1959年的消防卡车要拍卖，我们买了吧。

　　队长：一辆老破消防卡车有什么用?

　　消防队员：误报火警时我们用。

　　Autobiography

　　Janie: Mom, how old is our car?

　　Mom: About five years old, honey.

　　Janie: And what kind is it?

　　Mom: A station wagon. Why all the questions about the car?

　　Janie: My teacher told us to write our autobiography.

　　Janie：妈妈，我们家的汽车几年了?

　　妈妈：大约5年里，宝贝。

　　JanieL：什么牌子?

　　妈妈：旅行车(?)为什么老问汽车?

　　Janie：老师要我们写汽车传记(自传)。

　　Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future, has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

　　只有当一个人完全失去了对将来的兴趣，他就到了写传记的年龄了。

　　注：所以最好不要忙着写传记。

　　Avail

　　There are few sorrows, however poignant, in which a good income is of no avail.

　　不管多么刻骨铭心的悲伤，很少有收入增加后不减轻的。

　　注：如果邻居被车撞得很重，你得了50万赔偿，你还会那么悲伤吗?

　　Nicola: Ive proposed to four different men without avail.

　　Nicholas: Next time, try wearing a veil.

　　Nicola：我向四个不同的男人求过婚都没有成功。

　　Nicholas：下次，试着戴上面纱。

　　注：Without avail: 徒劳;Avail 与 a veil

　　Awe

　　I thought Id start things off with the shock and awe phase of the operation.

　　我认为我们该开始震慑行动。

　　注：美国攻打阿富汗取名震慑行动。如果不分场合乱用震慑行动就有点儿好玩儿了。

　　Axis

　　Oh my God, the entire axis of boring is in there.

　　上帝啊，无聊中心在这儿!

　　注：模仿布什提出的邪恶中心: axis of vice