Parents are often upset when their children praise the homes of their friends
and regard it as a slur on their own cooking,or cleaning, or furniture,
and often are foolish enough to let the adolescents see that they are annoyed.
They may even accuse them of disloyalty,
or make some spiteful remark about the friends parents.
Such a loss of dignity and descent into childish behavior on the part of the adults
deeply shocks the adolescents,
and makes them resolve that in future they will not talk to their parents
about the places or people they visit.
Before very long the parents will be complaining
that the child is so secretive and never tells them anything,
but they seldom realize that they have brought this on themselves.
Disillusionment with the parents, however good and adequate they may be
both as parent and as individuals, is to some degree inevitable.
Most children have such a high ideal of their parents,
unless the parents themselves have been unsatisfactory,
that it can hardly hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation.
Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched
if they realized how much belief their children usually have in their character and infallibility,
and how much this faith means to a child.
If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction,
and realized that it was a sign that the child was growing up
and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgment,
they would not be so hurt,
and therefore would not drive the child into opposition by resenting and resisting it.
The adolescent, with his passion for sincerity,
always respects a parent who admits that he is wrong, or ignorant,
or even that he has been unfair or unjust.
What the child cannot forgive is the parents refusal to admit these charges
if the child knows them to be true.
Victorian parents believed that they kept their dignity
by retreating behind an unreasoning authoritarian attitude;
in fact they did nothing of the kind,
but children were then too cowed to let them know how they really felt.
Today we tend to go to the other extreme,
but on the whole this is a healthier attitude both for the child and the parent.
It is always wiser and safer to face up to reality,
however painful it may be at the moment.
实用职场口语:理想、建议、劝告-同事间的良好沟通很重要
实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-真是个环保卫士啊
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实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-我相信你一定會表現得很好
实用职场口语:理想、建议、劝告-工作后最好不要以貌取人
实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-我能把衬衫拉出來而不扯破它
实用职场口语:面试与实习-我在南加州大学拿到电子硕士学位
实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-要相信有志者事竟成
实用职场口语:面试与实习-你是一个有明确目标的人吗?
实用职场口语:面试与实习-以前有过类似的工作经历
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实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-工作安排与协调
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实用职场口语:面试与实习-面试实战篇之应聘秘书 1
实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-这个聚会很棒,是不是?
实用职场口语:威胁与责备-以后遇到这样的事不要想当然
实用职场口语:降薪与裁员-公司为什么要裁这么多员工呢?
实用职场口语:面试与实习-实际上微薪养蠢材啊
实用职场口语:威胁与责备-你怎么连续两天都迟到呢?
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实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-其实坐飞机没那么可怕
实用职场口语:理想、建议、劝告-中国家庭的生活目标是什么?
实用职场口语:计划与催促-都十点啦, 该睡觉了
实用职场口语:威胁与责备-不知道老板看了这些照片会怎么想
实用职场口语:面试与实习-你打算在这里工作多久?
实用职场口语:称赞与鼓励-他是我喜欢的型
实用职场口语:威胁与责备-你的零花钱总是不够花
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