SAT满分作文欣赏(一) 含点评

　　Assignment: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?

　　一、写作题目

　　Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

　　Traditionally the term heroism has been applied to those who have braved physical danger to defend a cause or to protect others. But one of the most feared dangers people face is that of disapproval by their family, peers, or community. Sometimes acting courageously requires someone to speak out at the risk of such rejection. We should consider those who do so true heroes.

　　Assignment: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?

　　题目翻译：

　　英雄主义一词传统上适用于那些勇于面对身体上的危险而去捍卫一项事业或保护他人的人。但是，人民面对的最可怕的危险之一是来自家庭、同伴或集体的反对。有时候，冒着被拒绝的风险言所欲言也是一种勇敢。我们应该视这样做的人为真正的英雄。

　　命题：英雄是否应该被定义为在我们缺少发言的勇气时言其所想的人?

　　二、6分范文

　　There are many types of heroes in real life or in literature, but the most courageous type of all is the one who is willing to stand up and say what they believe in even when everyone else lacks the courage to do so. Many people are content to go through life following the crowd. They will themselves to believe in ideas that society says is right, even when they know in their heart it is wrong. A hero is one who is willing to give up his position in society in order to tell people what he believes is right.

　　The abolitionists, such as Harriet Beecher Stowe and William Lloyd Garrison, were heroes in their own time. Before the Civil War, people in all sections of the country thought that African Americans were animals and treated them as such. During the reform period of the Jacksonian era William Lloyd Garrison began to publish his abolitionist newspaper The Liberator. In this newspaper he demanded that the African American slaves be set free immediately, without any compensation to their owners. Because his view on slavery was against the common belief of the population he was not received well. Throughout his life he was given multiple death threats and one of his abolitionist friends was killed. Harriet Beecher Stowe was an abolitionist after Garrisons time, but she was received in much of the same way. After the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 was released, she wrote the book Uncle Toms Cabin. It was a story of a slave living in the South and the cruelty of his owner. The inhumanness of the owner caused many southerners to ban the book in anger, but at the same time it brought the terrible act of slavery to the light. Many northerners used this book as a weapon against the Souths peculiar institution.

　　Rudyard Kipling once wrote in his poem If, that you will be a man if you can stand up and say what you believe in when all men around you doubt you. Heroes must have the courage to risk everything they love to stand up for themselves in the face of opposition. Both William Lloyd Garrison and Harriet Beecher Stowe stood up against a society which had accepted slavery as a right. They believed that what their heart told them was right and risked everything to tell the public what they believed in. These two people have hopefully shown others to believe in themselves and what they view in their hearts.

　　范文翻译：

　　现实生活和文学作品中存在各种英雄，但最有勇气的当属在众人都不敢发言时还能站起来阐述自己信念的人。许多人满足于人云亦云的生活。他们将社会承认的正确意见奉为圭臬，即使内心认为这种意见是错误的也绝不反对。而英雄则愿意牺牲现有的社会地位来告诉众人他所信奉的真理。

　　废奴主义者，如斯托夫人(Harriet Beecher Stowe)和威廉劳埃德加里森(William Lloyd Garrison)是他们时代的英雄。内战之前，全国各地都视非裔美国人为动物，并以对待动物的方式对待他们。在杰克逊总统改革期间，威廉劳埃德加里森开始发行废奴主义报纸《解放者》。他在报纸中呼吁立即释放黑奴，并且不予奴隶主任何补偿。因为加里森关于奴隶制的观点与社会普遍认识相左，他并不受人欢迎。加里森在一生中多次遭人死亡威胁。他一位信奉废奴主义的朋友也遭暗杀身亡。斯托夫人是加里森之后的一位废奴主义者，她也受到了相同待遇。1850年《逃亡奴隶法》颁布以后斯托夫人撰写了《汤姆叔叔的小屋》。小说讲述了发生在美国南部地区一个黑人奴隶与他残酷的主人之间的故事。书中对奴隶主不人道行为的描写使得许多南方人怀着愤怒的心情把此书列为禁书，但同时也使奴隶制度的暴行大白于天下。许多北方人以此书为武器攻击南方的黑奴制度。

　　鲁德亚德吉卜林曾在诗作《如果》中写道，如果你能在旁人都怀疑你的时候站起来宣布你的信念，你就是一个真男人。英雄必须在面临反对时有勇气牺牲所爱的一切捍卫自己的观点。加里森和斯托夫人都曾反抗承认奴隶制的社会，他们相信自己内心的声音是正确的，并勇于牺牲一切告诉公众他们的信念。他们或许能让旁人明白，要相信自己，相信内心。

　　三、 得分点详解

　　1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

　　围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。

　　针对命题英雄是否应该被定义为在我们缺少发言的勇气时言其所想的人?，本文提出论点英雄愿意牺牲现有的社会地位来告诉众人他所信奉的真理。为了支持论点，作者以两位废奴主义者斯托夫人和威廉劳埃德加里森为例，展示了这两位英雄如何反抗不公正的奴隶制度，而不是和众人一样将社会承认的正确意见奉为圭臬，即使内心认为这种意见是错误的也绝不反对。在叙述事例时，作者非常注重细节，不仅给出了两位主人公的全名，还具体到加里森发行的刊物名《解放者》，斯托夫人的小说名《汤姆叔叔的小屋》以及当时的1850年《逃亡奴隶法》，增强了文章的可信度和说服力。作者还在末段引用了鲁德亚德吉卜林在诗作《如果》中表明的观点：如果你能在旁人都怀疑你的时候站起来宣布你的信念，你就是一个真男人。从而进一步加强了论点。然后作者总结到：英雄必须在面临反对时有勇气牺牲所爱的一切捍卫自己的观点。加里森和斯托夫人都曾反抗承认奴隶制的社会，他们相信自己内心的声音是正确的，并勇于牺牲一切告诉公众他们的信念。最后作者进一步深化，指出英雄对社会的影响：他们或许能让旁人明白，要相信自己，相信内心。整篇文章综合运用了事例、分析和引用来证明论点，展现了出色的思辨能力。