下面是一篇GRE官方给出满分的ARGUMENT范文,我们来一起赏析,看看它为何能scored six
The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:
Most companies would agree that as the risk of physical injury occurring on the job increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer: they could thus reduce their payroll expenses and save money.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
北美GRE范文首段
This argument states that it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer because by making the workplace safer then lower wages could be paid to employees. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the list of physical injury increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Howeveer, there are several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, the costs associated with making the workplace safe must outweigh the increased payroll expenses due to hazardous conditions. Also, one must look at the plausability of improving the work environment. And finally, because most companies agree that as the risk of injury increases so will wages doesnt necessarily mean that the all companies which have hazardous work environments agree.
北美GRE作文范文中间段1
The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment. Clearly one could argue that if making the workplace safe would cost an exorbitant amount of money in comparison to leaving the workplace as is and paying slightly increased wages than it would not make sense to improve the work environment. For example, if making the workplace safe would cost $100 million versus additional payroll expenses of only $5,000 per year, it would make financial sense to simply pay the increased wages. No business or business owner with any sense would pay all that extra money just to save a couple dollars and improve employee health and relations. To consider this, a cost benefit analysis must be made. I also feel that although a cost benefit analysis should be the determining factor with regard to these decisions making financial sense, it may not be the determining factor with regard to making social, moral and ethical sense.
北美GRE范文中间段2
This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment. This is not the case. Companies look at other considerations such as the negative social ramifications of high on-job injuries. For example, Toyota spends large amounts of money improving its environment because while its goal is to be profitable, it also prides itself on high employee morale and an almost perfectly safe work environment. However, Toyota finds that it can do both, as by improving employee health and employee relations they are guaranteed a more motivated staff, and hence a more efficient staff; this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.
北美GRE写作范文中间段3
Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.
北美GRE范文末端
In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment 。 Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.
GRE这篇官方钦定满分的范文,其最明显的优点在于:
1. 字数高达599words, GRE充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向。
2. 标准的五段制,首段、GRE末端,中间三段,看上去很美。
3. 没有陈词滥调、GRE满篇废话的模板式语言。
只有以上三点离满分还是很远的,GRE之所以SIX,我看更重要的在于,每段各尽其责,既独立又统一,形成了完整的ARGUMENT,specifically:
1. 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程,GRE并指出其assumptions多有不适;尤其令阅卷人高兴的是:首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的三个问题。要知道美国人就喜欢的作文---总分式,在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来,然后在中间三段分别展开,先总后分,一目了然。
2. 中一的TS -- The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment.可谓是一针见血,一剑封喉。对于这样严重的推理漏洞,如果不首先指出,其argument必然软弱乏力。此所谓
Topic中的 必削点,不可不察。
3. 中二的TS This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment.这可谓是剑走偏锋,独辟蹊径,出人所料。文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念,提出了要以人为本,这样写是有一定风险,毕竟这不是Issue。
那本文是如何化险为夷的呢?且看本段最后一句this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.我不由得长舒一口,人家再次回归了,又回到了Topic中以Money为本的推理。
4. 中三的TS Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer.这充分体现了作者不只是坐而论道的arguer,而是关心其可行性的现实主义者,考虑到方案本身的可行性和局限性。
5. 末端不但对首段提出的论点做出了重复性的总结,GRE而且又不厌其烦地把中间三段的ideas一一罗列。如此啰嗦估计令某些同学略有不齿,但这恰恰是美国人的最爱,cultural shock了吧?
体坛英语资讯:Czech soccer head coach Rada dismissed
体坛英语资讯:Hamburg suffers setback in title competition
体坛英语资讯:Aguero commits future to Atletico Madrid
体坛英语资讯:Piturca sacked as Romanias national soccer team coach
体坛英语资讯:Barcelona, Real Madrid at home in Spains match day 30
体坛英语资讯:Teenager Azarenka beats Serena to win Miami WTA title
体坛英语资讯:Chinese Guo wins womens keirin in track cycling worlds
体坛英语资讯:Lakers star Kobe sued by housekeeper
体坛英语资讯:Robinho forgives Pele
体坛英语资讯:Maradona slams talk of Argentine coaching team spat
体坛英语资讯:Cannavaro plays waiting game with Real Madrid
体坛英语资讯:Robinho cleared of rape charges
体坛英语资讯:British police searching for football match coin missile thrower
体坛英语资讯:Federer wins sportsmanship award for 5th year
体坛英语资讯:Jiao Liuyang sweeps 3 butterfly titles with 2 Asian records
体坛英语资讯:Maradona has successful debut as coach, Argentine press
体坛英语资讯:Robles plans 110m hurdles record at Czech Golden Spike again
体坛英语资讯:Venezuelan Valero contends title with Colombian Pitalua
体坛英语资讯:Bayern, Wolfsburg narrow gap with Bundesliga leaders Berlin
体坛英语资讯:Zheng focuses on results, not rankings
体坛英语资讯:Injured Kaka stays behind in Brazil to recuperate
体坛英语资讯:Barcelona, Real Madrid both win again in Spains Primera Liga
体坛英语资讯:Brazil, Britain to exchange experience in football
体坛英语资讯:Kevin Garnett to miss final two regular season games
体坛英语资讯:Australias rugby player Mackay succumbs in hospital
体坛英语资讯:Spaniard Blanco beats 50m butterfly world record
体坛英语资讯:Lance Armstrong breaks collarbone after heavy fall in Spanish cycle race
体坛英语资讯:Bayern crush Frankfurt, Wolfsburg remain top
体坛英语资讯:Late Riera goal gives Spain key win in Turkey
体坛英语资讯:Messi denies he is the leader of Argentine national team
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |