【习作要求】
马虎搞到两张全兴队对国安队的足球比赛入场券。他电话通知好友赵华洋,约他放学后在新华公园门口碰头,一起吃晚饭,然后去看球赛。二人在饭店美美吃了一顿,到付账时马虎才发现自己把钱夹忘在了家里,入场券也在他的钱夹中。
【学生习作】
Ma Hu got two tickets of (1) a wonderful football match between Quanxing and Guoan. He was thinking of invite (2) his good friend Zhao Huayang to watch it together. He gave him a call and told him to meet at the gate of Xinhua Park after class and then had dinner (3) together.
They met each other on time and had good dinner (4) in a restaurant. When the waiter brought them the bill. Ma Hu found that he left (5) his wallet at home. The two tickets kept (6) in the wallet, too.
(1)of在这里不是表示所有关系,所以应把of改成for,表示用途。
(2)动词invite在介词of的后面,应把它变为ing形式。
(3)连词and连接的应该是两个并列的动词不定式,所以应把had改为to have。
(4)这里注意dinner前面有形容词修饰时,那么应在形容词前面加a。
(5)应把left改成had left。因为到发现时为止前面的动作已经完成,要用过去完成时态。
(6)此处是被动语态,应加上were。
【名师点评】
这是一篇根据汉语提示写作的作文,也是中考题中常常采用的一种写作方式。写作中要求要点齐全,时态准确,短语、句型运用较为恰当即可得高分。本文要点齐全,较好地体现了写作要求。只是文中细小错误较多,这会影响获取高分。
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