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Electricity is very important in our daily life.Saving electricity is good for environment.Electricity can help people do many things,so we must saving save it .For example,turn lights,computers and TVs off when youre not using them.Dont leave the fridge door open for a long time.However,electricity is like a serventsservant of mankind.
Take attionattention,lets save electricity now.
本文在如下几个方面需要改进：
结构方面：结构不清晰，建议分三段来写：1）电的重要性
2）如何节约用电
3）号召大家行动起来
语言方面：建议用一些比较好的语言结构,包括固定搭配及连贯词
1）电的重要性Electricity plays a very important rolein our daily life.
2）如何节约用电 Firstly, Secondly，lastly
3）号召 If each of us tries our best to save electricity, we will make big difference.Lets take action right now.
细节方面：1）篇幅长度不够
2）部分语法错误
3）拼写错误
批改老师：朱平
朱平，（查看朱平老师介绍）学而思乐加乐优秀教师，现主攻初中同步，朱老师对北京市中考英语颇有研究，能准确把握北京市中考英语的重点和难点，而且了解初中生的学习特点，能准确把握学生容易出错的地方，并能有针对性地帮助学生击破弱点，攻克难点，稳步提高学习成绩。
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