雅思写作范文分析：学校降低录取标准

　　Task Two

　　Some famous universities lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic talents. To what extent do you agree with this practice? Give reasons based on your experience.

　　You should write at least 250 words and spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.

　　对范文的点评

　　Sample 1

　　It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and accepted.

　　First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into realities. Sometimes those universities which enrol the students who have special athletic talents have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.

　　Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fames. Competition between universities are extensive. Most famous universities pay their attentions not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fames of the universities which can attract more exelent students. All these are competitive for universities.

　　All above, enroling athletic students by lower their academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them.

　　拼写错误：

　　fames T fame

　　exelent T excellent

　　enroling T enrolling

　　作者的英文非常好，但因这个题目有一定的难度，对很多人来说，论点、论据都不能来得很便捷。这就造成有些人英文虽好，但无话可说的局面。于是，很多人出于字数和时间的压力，胡乱写一些词不达意的内容。这样的文章当然得不到好的分数。

　　此文论点鲜明，没有什么严重的错误，因此，字数就是最严重的问题了。此文可以得4或5段。请对比前后两文。

　　Revised edition of Sample 1

　　It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and acceptable.

　　First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into reality. Sometimes those universities have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.

　　Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fame. Competition between universities is extensive. Most famous universities pay attention not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fame of the universities which can attract more excellent students. All these are competitive for universities.

　　Above all, enrolling athletic students by lowering academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them.

　　Sample 2

　　It seems a fashion that many universities would like to lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. Universities do so because they want to strengthen their competitive ability in nearly all kinds of sports games. However, there will be some disadvantage if universities lose control on themselves.

　　I think that it is a good thing for both the university and the students with special athletic talents when the university just lowers academic standards slightly. The university can improve its ability in sports competition, and the special students can catch up with academic study. They may also play an important role in stimulating other students interest in sports.

　　But it will be harmful to other students and the special students if universities only care about their sports power and enrol those students with athletic talents who have a big academic gap. Accompanied by those outstanding sportsmen, other students will feel unfair. In addition, it will be very difficult for those special students to keep their normal study. One of my classmates, a female special student, quit from our university after having failed almost all subjects in the first school year. She went back to her hometown without saying good-bye to us. Such cases are very common in universities. Those students with special athletic talents are like machines to universities, and not many people really care what they think about. Many of them have to quit, which I believe will bring a long-term, negative impact on their future.

　　Its not bad for universities to enrol some students who have special athletic telnets, but at the same time, universities should treat these special students as normal students: care for their athletic talents, and care for their academic performance.

　　这是一篇非常好的文章，文字功底、论点和论据的组织、字数等都明显高于上一篇。得7或8段应不成问题。

　　以上内容摘自《雅思直快 - 写作》，陈卫东编著，北京语言大学出版社2002年出版。

　　More essays

　　In my point of view, universities should not lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic potentials. Doing so leads two questions.　

　　Firstly, this will lower the overall academic standard of the university. Although sports are one aspect of the university life, the most important aspect is academic activity. Students go to university to learn knowledge. If universities lower their standard of academy, the students will not learn enough knowledge for their afterwards work or study.

　　Secondly, if universities do not lower their standard for these special students , it will bring terrible pressure for them. In my university, a student who had been enrolled for his outstanding basketball skills failed four subjects in one term because he cannot keep up with the courses. And he commited suicide at last.

　　In conclusion, universities should not lower their academic requirements. If they want to enroll students with outstanding athletic potentials, they must provide them extra programs to ensure these students can meet the requirements.

　　结尾观点明白，不罗嗦。只是第二段对它的支持不够。

　　Remark: Generally fluent and is able to use idiomatic English in most situations. However, there is a major flaw in presenting argument and making it coherent. The result is lack of conviction on the part of the reader as where the writer stands on the issue.

　　者就作的英文水平来说，得6段应该没有问题。但就此文的论点、论据的效果来说，得5段也是有可能的。