雅思写作“见官死”开头-查字典英语网
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雅思写作“见官死”开头

发布时间:2016-02-29  编辑:查字典英语网小编

  对于一篇雅思大作文来说,开头部分无疑是最为重要的。尽管西彦有云: Dont judge a book by its cover,但实际上绝大多数的考官在评卷的时候主要就是看一篇文章的开头写的怎么样。打一个不太恰当的比喻,开头的部分就好比人的一张脸,只要你脖子以上长得像言承旭一样女fans就已经为你惊声尖叫了,才不管你脖子以下到底长得什么样。

  在雅思界,流传着这样一句很经典的话:所谓比较认真负责,比较专业的雅思写作考官,就是会把每篇文章第二段第二句都仔细看一遍的考官 由此可见大多数考官其实就是 Judge an essay by its introduction的。因此对于广大雅思考生来说,写好开头的部分就能给考官留下一个很好的第一印象,从而更容易得到比较高的分数。然而,我们中国考区的很多雅思考生却往往因为在开头部分犯了这样或者那样的错误,从而导致写出来的文章开头惨不忍睹,套用武侠小说的话来说,就是能让看了你文章的考官轻则内伤,重则当场吐血身亡,呵呵,好像夸张了一点,但考官即使不真的吐血,看到你的作文开头实在问题太多太大,他直接手起刀落咯嚓一声把你的文章直接枪毙掉总行吧?为此,俞老师特地整理了同学们在写作开头过程当中最频繁出现的10大问题进行分析,称之为见官死开头,各位同学只要能够牢记10大见官死开头的典型症状,并且能够对症下药的确保自己的文章不出现10大见官死开头的任何一种,就至少能够确保你的文章得分在6分以上! 今天先来跟同学们一起来看见官死开头之一。

  废话连篇不知所云

  典型失败案例:

  Topic 1-Should college students be allowed to get married?

  This topic is very interesting. Im very interested in talking about this topic. Because Im also a college student and Im not married

  分析: 这里所有的案例全部都是真人真事搬上银幕-都是我从同学们平时的习作当中精选出来的。先来看这个案例,题目问你应不应该允许大学生结婚,而作者一上来先是对这个Topic大加赞扬,说题目很有趣,自己对于谈论这个话题很感兴趣,然后又开始作起自我介绍来了我跟这篇开头的作者有过交流,我问他为什么想到要这样写,他说:老师我听说雅思作文的题目就是那些评卷的考官出的,所以我一上来先把他们出的考题先大~大地赞美一番那可能考官看了很高兴就会给我一个比较高的分数了唉,小孩子什么不学学大人拍马屁倒学得挺快!但是在这里我要郑重告诉大家你这样做的话是绝~对~绝~对不会有用的,先不管出题的考官和评卷的考官正好是同一人的概率有多大,雅思写作考官评价你的文章看的是你的文章里面有多少Quality Words。所以不管你在文章开头多么煽情地,卖力地试图通过对Topic本身评头论足来讨好考官都是不会有任何用处的,因为这些内容都不属于Quality Words的范畴,在考官的眼里都是废话而已。

  结论:在雅思大作文开头的两个千万不要

  1.千万不要对题目本身的好坏难易进行评头论足。哪怕你心里真的觉得这个题目出得很好或者真的很弱智。

  2. 千万不要在文章开头对自己的情况进行介绍,这不是口语考试,考官根本没有兴趣知道你是谁。

  Topic 2-The importance of environmental protection

  Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isnt it? Of course! Its really very very important!

  分析:环保的重要性到底体现在哪里?讲了半天等于什么都没讲

  Topic 3-Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information?

  Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.

  分析:典型的一个审题混乱+逻辑混乱+用词混乱的三乱开头。首先题目让我们谈的是以internet为代表的现代技术会不会取代传统纸媒体,而该文几乎都在讲internet怎样怎样,此一宗罪也;其次在逻辑上因为我有一个朋友很喜欢上网就能推出网络越来越重要吗?此第二宗罪;第三用词上也有问题,上网应该是surf the internet,go on the internet属于作者自己的发明创造。此外这个例子也举的非常不具有典型性,因此四罪并伐,直接拖出去斩了!

  Topic4-Your opinion on DINK families

  My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.

  分析:看上去写了3句话其实就一个意思:Dink Families不好!明明一句话就能说清楚的,干嘛要这么罗嗦地翻来覆去变着方的来讲同一个意思?让我俞老师来揭穿他:他想混~字~数~!对于一些基础比较薄弱的同学来说,雅思大作文250字的字数要求很让他们头疼,于是就出此把一句话翻来覆去说的下策。可是这样做的话真的是太侮辱考官的智商了,要知道这根本是小学生才会玩的把戏,下面一则笑话可资证明:

  小明是一个小学二年级的学生,老师要求每个同学写一篇两百字的日记,可是小明写到昨天我的小狗小白不见了,我很着急,到街上去找它就灵感枯竭再也写不下去了,小明抓破头皮想了半天,忽然想到一个好办法-他继续写道:为了找到小白,我在大街上一遍又一遍地呼喊着小白的名字:小白~小白~小白~小白~小白~

  过分简单 没有重点

  典型失败案例:

  Topic-The importance of environmental protection

  This issue is surely very important, lets talk about it!

  用词不当 表达不准

  典型失败案例:

  Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

  I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we cant take the responsibility to form a family.

  意思重复 原地踏步

  典型失败案例:

  Topic-Your opinion on DINK families

  My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.

  中国俗语 胡乱翻译

  典型失败案例:

  Topic 1-Is it good to have a large family?

  I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: Many sons, many lucks

  正确说法:Happiness lies in having many children

  Topic 2 -Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?

  We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: Know is know, dont know is dont know

  Topic 3- Do you think ones character is greatly influenced by his/her family?

  Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rats son can make hole

  Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

  I believe one sentence:A good person is all life safe. We Chinese people always say: Good has good pay, bad has bad pay.

  观点武断 态度强硬

  典型失败案例:

  Topic1-The importance of confidence

  In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who dont have confidence, they all have failed.

  Topic 2 - The solution to the traffic problem

  I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who dont obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, Im sure there will be no traffic problem any more.

  

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