提高效率改善人际 要拒绝八个坏毛病

It's for your own good. Cut these things out of your day and you'll see gains in productivity--not to mention happiness.
把这些事情从你的生活中去除掉，你的效率将会有显著的提高，幸福感也会大大提升。这么做都是为了你自己好。
If you get decent value from making to-do lists, you'll get huge returns--in productivity, in improved relationships, and in your personal well-being--from adding these items to your not to-do list.
如果你从任务清单中可以获得巨大的回报，比如提高办事效率、改善人际关系、提高生活质量等，那么把以下事情列入你的“拒绝清单”中也会有这样的效果。
Every day, make the commitment not to:
每天，确保不要做以下这些事情：
1. Check my phone while I'm talking to someone.
与人谈话的过程中查看自己的手机。
You've done it. You've played the"Is that your phone? Oh, it must be mine," game. You've tried the you-think-sly-but-actually-really-obvious downwards glance. You've done the, "Wait, let me answer this text..." thing.Maybe you didn't even say, "Wait." You just stopped talking, stopped paying attention, and did it.
你肯定做过这个事情。你肯定玩过这样的把戏，“是你的手机在振吗？哦，原来是我的。”你肯定做过试着用自己认为很隐密的方式向下一瞥查看手机，但其实却很明显。你肯定做过这样的事情，“稍等下，让我先回复这个短信…” 可能你甚至都不说，“稍等。”你就直接停止谈话，转移你的注意力到手机上面去了。
Want to stand out? Want to be that person everyone loves? Stop checking your phone. It doesn't notice when you aren't paying attention. Other people? They notice. And they care.
你想要变得与众不同吗？想要人见人爱吗？那么，在与别人谈话时，停止查看你的手机吧。如果你不看手机，手机那头的人是不会知道的。而正在和你谈话的其他人呢？他们会注意到你的一举一动，而且他们很在意这个。
2. Multitask during a meeting.
在一次会议中处理多个任务
The easiest way to be the smartest person in the room is to be the person who pays the most attention to the room.
想成为房间里最聪明的人，最简单的方法就是成为这个房间里最专注的人。
You'll be amazed by what you can learn, both about the topic of the meeting and about the people in the meeting if you stop multitasking and start paying close attention. You'll flush out and understand hidden agendas, you'll spot opportunities to build bridges, and you'll find ways to make yourself indispensable to the people who matter.
如果你在会议中不再一心多用，你就会变得更加专注，也就会注意到很多平时觉察不出来的东西，比如会议中的议题，与会的人员等。你可以从中了解到一些隐藏的议程，也能有机会去和别人建立联系，然后找到合适的方法让自己变得不可或缺。
3. Think about people who don't make any difference in my life.
为那些与你的生活没有任何关系的人而分神。
Trust me: The inhabitants of planet Kardashian are okay without you.
相信我：没有你的关注，卡黛珊们照样过得很好。
But your family, your friends, your employees--all the people that really matter to you--are not. Give them your time and attention.They're the ones who deserve it.
但是对于你的家人、朋友、员工以及那些和你的生活密切相关的人来说，他们需要你的关注。请多陪伴他们，多关注他们。他们值得你这么做。
4. Use multiple notifications.
多个事件通知
You don't need to know the instant you get an email. Or a text.Or a tweet. Or anything else that pops up on your phone or computer.
你没有必要知道你是不是收到了一封邮件或一个短信，还是一条推特消息，甚至是任何出现在你手机里和电脑上的消息。
If something is important enough for you to do, it's important enough for you to do without interruptions. Focus totally on what you're doing. Then, on a schedule you set--instead of a schedule you let everyone else set.
如果真的是要紧的事情需要你去做，即使没有提醒功能来告诉你，你也会去做。完全专注于你正在做的事情。然后按照你自己设定的计划来做，而不是照着别人的计划行动。
5. Let the past dictate the future.
让过去决定未来
Mistakes are valuable. Learn from them.Then let them go.
错误都是很宝贵的。从错误中总结，不要执着于过去犯下的错误。
Easier said than done? It all depends on your perspective. When something goes wrong, turn it into an opportunity to learn something you didn't know--especially about yourself. When something goes wrong for someone else, turn it into an opportunity to be gracious, forgiving, and understanding.
说起来容易做起来难？这完全取决于你的态度。如果你犯了错，把错误当成是学习的机会，尤其是利用犯错来更多地认识自己。如果是别人犯了错，把错误转变成一个体现你和蔼、宽容、理解他人的机会。
The past is just training. The past should definitely inform but in no way define you--unless you let it.
过去仅仅只是训练。过去会显示出你不足的一面，却不能以任何方式来界定你——除非你让它这么做。
6. Wait until I'm sure I will succeed.
等待成功
You can never feel sure you will succeed at something new, but you can always feel sure you are committed to giving something your best. And you can always feel sure you will try again if you fail. Stop waiting.
对于一些新生事物，你无法保证自己一定能获得成功，但是你却可以知道自己有没有尽最大的努力。你能确保自己在失败后继续尝试。所以，停止等待吧。
7. Talk behind someone's back.
在背后说人是非
If you've talked to more than one person about something Joe is doing, wouldn't everyone be better off if you stepped up and actually talked to Joe about it? And if it's "not your place" to talk to Joe, it's probably not your place to talk about Joe.
你对不止一个人谈论关于乔正在做的一些事情，但如果你亲自去跟乔说起这些，不是更好吗？如果你没有权利去和乔讨论，那么你就没有资格去谈论乔。
Spend your time on productive conversations. You'll get a lot more done--and you'll gain a lot more respect.
把你的时间花在更有成效的对话中去。你将会完成得更多，并且获得更多的尊敬。
8. Say "yes" when I really mean "no."
口是心非，不会拒绝
Refusing a request from colleagues, customers, or even friends is really hard. But rarely does saying no go as badly as you expect. Most people will understand, and if they don't, should you care too much about what they think?
拒绝一个来自同事，顾客，甚至是朋友的请求，真的很难。但是偶尔拒绝也并不会像你想象中那么坏。大多数人会理解的，而且如果他们不理解的话，你也没有必要去太多关注别人的想法，不是吗？
When you say no, at least you'll only feel bad for a few moments. When you say yes to something you really don't want to do you might feel bad for a long time--or at least as long as it takes you to do what you didn't want to do in the first place.
当你拒绝别人的时候，你只会难过一会。而当你接受了别人的请求，但事实上这件事你确实不想做，你就会难过很久，至少从你一开始不想接受到做完那件事的这段时期，你都会感到难受。