人际交往中展现自信的十种方式

1. Good eye contact.
1. 良好的眼神接触
Eye contact is your primary tool for establishing nonverbal connections with others. It communicates your level of involvement, interest and warmth. When speaking to others, ideally look directly into their eyes at least two to three seconds before looking away or moving to the next person. Merely glancing at someone for one second or less is known as eye dart and conveys insecurity, anxiety or evasion.The next time you’re in a meeting or giving a speech, ask a friend to count how long you look at specific individuals and if you visually engage with everyone in the room.
眼神接触是你与其他人建立非语言联系的主要工具。眼神接触传达了你的参与、兴趣和热情程度。当你和其他人说话的时候，理想情况是直接看着对方的眼睛至少2到3秒才将眼神移开或者移至其他人。只花一秒钟或者更少的时间瞅一下对方，这叫做‘飞瞥’，传达的是一种不安、焦虑或者逃避的情绪。下一次当你开会或者做演讲的时候，让一位朋友统计你和某些特定人物眼神接触的时间，以及你是否与房间里的所有人有眼神接触。
2. A confident handshake.
2. 自信的握手
Communicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior. Always put your hand out to shake hands. A classic good handshake is one with full palm to palm contact.
通过身体接触进行交流是另一种重要的非语言行为。每次都要把手伸出来与对方握手。经典的正确握手方式是手掌对手掌的完全接触。
In business, the handshake is often the only appropriate expression of touch so it’s critical to have a good one. A good handshake consists of a full and firm handclasp with palms embraced web to web. Shake up and down once or twice, coupled with a sincere smile and eye contact. Avoid the extremes of either a weak limp handshake or an aggressive bone-crushing one. Strike the right balance—firm enough to convey confidence yet matched to the strength of the other person. Treat men and women with equal respect when shaking hands. Gender makes no difference, and either may initiate the handshake.
在职场上，握手通常是唯一一种合适的表达身体接触的方式，因此正确的握手非常重要。正确的握手要求完整而且有力，手掌相互接触。上下摆动一次或者两次，并且伴随真诚的微笑和眼神接触。避免极端情况——手掌软弱无力或者力气太大令对方感到疼痛。应达到合适的平衡，用足够的力度来传达你的信心，但是要和对方的力度相适应。握手时，对男性和女性给予相等的尊重。握手与性别无关，并且任何一方都可以先伸出手。
3. Effective gestures.
3. 有效的姿态
A gesture is any physical movement that helps express an idea, opinion or emotion. Strive to punctuate your words with movement that is natural, lively, purposeful and spontaneous. Be genuinely yourself and let your motions match your message. Avoid common distracting mannerisms such as finger-pointing, fidgeting, scratching, tapping, playing with hair, wringing hands, and twisting a ring.
姿态是指帮助表达某种想法、意见或者情绪的肢体动作。在表达自己意见的时候，努力增加一些自然、生动、有目的性并且自发的姿态。表达真正的自己，并且让你的动作与传达的信息保持一致。避免那些经常出现、分散注意力的小动作，例如用手指指向其他人、坐立不安、挠痒、敲打物品、玩弄头发、搓手以及转动戒指。
4. Dressing the part.
4. 穿着得体
Shakespeare asserts in Hamlet, “For the apparel oft proclaims the man.” For men and women, clothing speaks volumes in the workplace. Make sure ‘business casual’ is not ‘business careless.’ Choose high quality, well-tailored garments that convey professionalism. Depending on your corporate culture, wear a business suit or at least a jacket for important meetings and presentations, especially with senior leaders and customers. Avoid showy accessories, busy patterns, tight garments and revealing necklines. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If career advancement is your goal, convey a polished professional presence in the workplace.
莎士比亚在《哈姆雷特》里面提到“以衣看人”。不管男性还是女性，穿着在办公室具有重要意义。“确保‘商务休闲装’没有变成‘商务随便装’。选择高质量、剪裁合身的服装能令对方感受到你的职业精神。依照你所处的企业文化，挑选一套西装或者至少一件夹克用来参加重要的会议以及活动，尤其是与高层领导人和客户见面的时候。避免艳丽的配件、复杂的图案、紧身衣服和露出领口。按照你想要从事的工作挑选衣服，而不是你所从事的工作。如果你的目标是要获得晋升，应该在办公室传达一种令人眼前一亮的专业风采。
To complement your business attire, take steps to control perspiration; avoid cologne or perfume due to others’ possible allergies and sensitivities to smell; ensure fresh breath; and keep nails and hands neatly manicured.
为了完善你的商务装，应采取措施控制身上的汗液；避免使用古龙水或者香水，因为其他人可能对这些气味过敏或者较为敏感；确保口气清新；保持指甲和手指修建整齐。
5. Authoritative posture and presence.
5. 权威性的姿态和仪容
Take up space. Use the arms on the chair, or stand with your feet a bit apart. A female leg stance in North America is with the feet typically 4 to 6 inches apart, and a male power stance starts with the feet more than 8 inches apart.
要占据一定的空间。使用椅子的扶手或者站立时双脚稍微分开。在北美，女性的站立姿势通常是双脚分开4到6英寸，男性权力的姿势是两脚分开超过8英寸。
When you stand up tall and straight, you send a message of self-assurance, authority and energy.Whether standing or sitting, imagine a string gently pulling your head and spine toward the ceiling. Your weight is evenly balanced, feet solidly on the floor, arms and hands visible, relaxed and uncrossed. Good posture creates a dynamic commanding presence and an attitude of leadership. Conversely, bad posture signals to others that you lack confidence and have low self-esteem or low energy levels.
当你站直腰板的时候，你发出了一种自信、权威和能量的信息。不管你是站着或者坐着，请想象一条绳，从天花板上垂下来轻轻地拉着你的头和脊梁。你的重量被平衡分布，双脚坚实地站在地板上，手臂和手掌露出来、放松并且没有交叉。优美的姿态创造一种威风凛凛的气场，以及一种领导者的气势。相反，糟糕的姿态向其他人传达的信息是，你缺乏信心并且拥有较低的自尊或低能量水平。
6. Appropriate facial expressions.
6. 合适的面部表情
Each of the seven basic human emotions (anger, contempt, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise) has been scientifically proven to have a certain facial expression associated with it. Because your facial expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are often involuntary and unconscious.
在科学上，七种基本的人类感情（愤怒、鄙视、厌恶、恐惧、快乐、悲伤和惊奇）都分别有特定的面部表情相配合，因为你的面部表情与情感密切联系，它们通常都是非故意和无意识的。
Imagine the mismatched message when a fearful pensive face describes the life-enriching benefits of a new healthcare product. “Become aware of what your face is revealing to observers, and choose the expression that matches your intended message. For example, if you want to convey energy and enthusiasm, allow your face to become more animated. Practice in front of a mirror until it looks and feels natural. To show you’re paying attention while listening, hold a very slight smile, nod occasionally, and maintain good eye contact.
当一张令人畏惧、凝重的脸描述一款新的医疗保健产品所提供的令生活更加丰富的利益，这传达的是一种非常不匹配的信息。请意识到你的脸部表情向观察者所透露的信息，并且选择符合你想要表达的信息的表情。例如，如果你想要传达的是能量和热情，请让你的脸变得更加充满活力。在镜子前进行练习，直到表情变得自然。为了让别人觉得你是在认真地倾听，请让面部略带微笑，时不时地点头，保持良好的眼神接触。
7. Initiating interactions.
7. 发起互动
Be the first to make eye contact, offer your hand to shake, have an idea or solution, go into a room, and make the call. You can only afford to wait and go last when you are in the C-suite and ready to retire.
第一个进行眼神接触、伸出手与对方握手、提出想法或者解决办法、走到房间里以及打电话。只有当你成为企业最高层并且准备退休的时候，你才有资格等待并且最后出发。
8. Appropriate voice tone.
8. 合适的语音语调
If your significant other has ever said to you, “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it,” they were referring to your paralanguage. Separate from the actual words used, these nonverbal elements of your voice include voice tone, pacing, pausing, volume, inflection, pitch and articulation. Like facial expressions, choosing the appropriate paralanguage is critically important because it conveys emotional meaning, attitude and impact.” Consider recording your side of several conversations throughout the day. Listen to the recordings and identify what your voice tone communicates.
如果你的“贵客”曾这样跟你说，“原因并非在于你说什么，而是你说的方式”，他们指的是你的辅助语言。除了实际使用的言词外，你的语言中还有一些的非言语元素，包括语音、语速、停顿、音量、音调变化、音高和清晰度。就像面部表情一样，选择合适的辅助语言是非常重要的，因为它传达了情感意义、态度和影响。请考虑在一天当中的几段对话里，将你的说话记录下来。重听录音并且识别你的语音声调要表达的意思。
9. Giving your full attention.
9. 给予充分重视
When speaking with a person, point your toes and square your shoulders toward them. This conveys attentiveness and creates open body language. Avoid angling your body away from them. Lean into the conversation; focus your eyes, ears and energy on them. These nonverbal cues clearly convey you respect, honor and appreciate the opportunity to meet with them. Make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed. Also, avoid multi-tasking during the interaction. Don’t check e-mail, look at your phone, send a text, check the scores, or disengage in any way. It shows disinterest and disrespect.
和别人对话时，脚趾朝着他们并且昂起胸膛。这传递的是专注并且创造开放的肢体语言。不要侧着身子远离他们。专注于对话；专注自己的眼睛、耳朵以及他们散发的能量。这些非语言的线索清晰地表达了你的尊重、珍惜以及感谢这个与他们见面的机会。请确保你的手臂和双腿没有交叉。此外，在对话期间不要做其他事情。不要检查电子邮件、看手机、发短信、了解最新比分，或者做任何分心的事情。这展现的是不关心和不尊敬。
10. Responding to others' nonverbalcues.
10. 对其他人的非语言线索作出回应
When leading a meeting, speaking to a group, or interacting one-on-one, pay close attention to the other person’s body language and voice tone. Listen with your eyes. Their nonverbal cues can tell you when they: have a question, want to say something, agree or disagree, need a break, require more explanation, or have an emotional response.” By responding appropriately to others’ cues, you not only convey confidence in yourself, you show a high level of empathy, sensitivity and care for them which builds trust.
如果主持一个会议、向一个团体讲话或者一对一互动，密切关注其他人的肢体语言和语音语调。倾听的同时，用眼睛看对方。他们的非语言线索会告诉你他们何时提出问题、想要说什么、同意或者不同意、需要休息、要求更多解释，或者作出情感反应。通过适当地对对方的线索作出回应，你不仅表达出对自己的信心，也展示了较高层次的同理心、敏感度和关心，这有利于建立互信。