肩膀

[原题回放]

[playback of original question]

题目：肩膀

Title: shoulders

要求：除诗歌外，文体自选。不少于800字。（60分）

Requirements: besides poetry, the style is optional. No less than 800 words. (60 points)

[文题诠释]

[text explanation]

今年辽宁卷的作文命题形式是命题作文。由去年此省的“今年花胜去年红”短语类命题作文，变成了词语类命题作文。这个命题是今年全国十几套作文题目的亮点，主要表现在：

This year's Liaoning volume's composition proposition form is proposition composition. From the phrase proposition composition of "this year's flower is better than last year's red" in this province last year, it has become the word proposition composition. This topic is the highlight of more than ten sets of composition topics in China this year, mainly reflected in:

（1）本命题是对近两年命题作文的继承。继承的是近两年作文命题的基本特点，自2004年第一次分省命题以来，作文命题就呈现了多样化的特色，话题作文、材料作文、命题作文等等作文形式纷纷登陆高考试卷，过去那种一种命题形式一统天下的模式被彻底打破（1999年以来连续7年全国卷是以“话题作文”为主打品牌）。辽宁卷的作文命题很好地继承了这个特点。

(1) This thesis is the inheritance of the thesis in the past two years. It inherits the basic characteristics of composition proposition in the past two years. Since the first provincial proposition in 2004, composition proposition has shown diversified characteristics. Topic composition, material composition, proposition composition and other composition forms have landed in college entrance examination papers one after another. In the past, the pattern of proposition form dominating the world has been completely broken (since 1999, the national paper has been "topic composition" for seven consecutive years) For the main brand). The composition proposition of Liaoning volume inherits this characteristic well.

（2）给考生提供了广阔的写作空间。本题与2005年江西卷“以‘脸’为话题”的作文相似。它们都是人身体的一部分，都是富有含义的地方。因此，考生看到这个题目，不会感到陌生，考生的第一感觉应该是首先想到自己的父母，想到父母为自己的付出，想到父母是自己人生的依靠，是自己人生之旅的拐杖，因而，下笔是较容易的。但这样的想法不容易出新，人人都这么想，也都这么做，作文自然平庸了。

(2) It provides a broad writing space for examinees. This topic is similar to the composition of "face" in Jiangxi volume in 2005. They are all part of the human body, and they are all meaningful places. Therefore, when examinees see this topic, they will not feel strange. The first feeling of examinees should be to think of their parents first, think of their parents' efforts for themselves, think of their parents as their life's dependence and crutches for their life journey. Therefore, it is easier to write. But such an idea is not easy to bring forth new ideas. Everyone thinks so and does so. The composition is naturally mediocre.

笔者认为，考生可以从以下方面来审题立意：一是从肩膀的功能角度来思考，肩膀是一个人身体的重要部位，肩膀的存在意义重大。二是从肩膀的比喻义和引申义来思考，这种思考是创新的最佳角度。如肩膀是信念，肩膀是理想，肩膀是希望，这些支撑了一个人的精神世界，我们需要依靠信念、理想、希望。肩膀是一个民族腾飞的保障，自古以来，“铁肩担道义”者不就是最好的范例吗？考生还可以逆向思维来求新，任何事物的存在都是矛盾的统一，肩膀的多寡与我们的成长有何关联呢？肩膀是越多越好，还是越少越好？全凭你的认识来决定。

The author believes that examinees can examine questions from the following aspects: first, from the perspective of shoulder function, shoulder is an important part of a person's body, and the existence of shoulder is of great significance. The second is to think from the analogy and extension of shoulder, which is the best angle of innovation. For example, shoulder is faith, shoulder is ideal, shoulder is hope. These support a person's spiritual world. We need to rely on faith, ideal and hope. Shoulder is the guarantee for a nation to take off. Since ancient times, is not the "iron shoulder" the best example? Examinees can also reverse thinking to seek innovation. The existence of anything is the unity of contradiction. How is the shoulder related to our growth? Is the more the better, or the less the better? It's all up to you.

肩膀多，可以使我们衣食无忧，学习无苦，但却带来了好逸恶劳、不思进取的坏毛病；肩膀少，虽然会使我们经历人生的种种不幸或苦难，但却带来我们对人生、对社会的深刻认识，增强自我抗挫折能力，使自己更健康地成长。

A lot of shoulders can make us have no worries about food and clothing, and no pains in study, but it brings us the bad habits of being easygoing and hard-working and not eager to make progress; a little shoulders can make us experience all kinds of misfortunes or sufferings in life, but it brings us a deep understanding of life and society, enhances our ability to resist setbacks, and makes us grow healthily.

[满分作文1]

[Full Score composition 1]

肩膀

shoulder

丰子恺先生有一幅漫画：一个行人，微弓着腰，担着沉甸甸的行囊，独自在山路上逶迤而行。“一肩担尽古今愁”，这是画的题目。

Mr. Feng Zikai has a cartoon: a pedestrian, bowing slightly and carrying heavy luggage, is walking alone on the mountain road. This is the title of painting.

亘古以来，因人类的智慧、愚笨，愁便似喷发的火山熔岩，层层堆叠，凝住，冷却……

Since ancient times, because of the wisdom and stupidity of human beings, worries have been like volcanic lava erupting, stacked layer by layer, frozen and cooled

人世间，有人肯一肩担尽古今愁，这是何等的气概！又是何等的悲壮！也许还有些许的无奈……

In the world, some people are willing to bear all the worries of the past and the present. What a spirit! What a tragedy! Maybe there is a little helplessness

历史的长河翻滚着，是李白吧，“白发三千丈，缘愁似个长”，但他愁的是遭贬的不幸，来这岸边借酒消愁。是李煜吧，“问君能有几多愁？恰似一江春水向东流”，但他愁的只是小家园的悲哀，最后南唐后主只能结束于一杯毒酒。是李清照吧，“这次第，怎一个愁字了得”，但她只是愁思念的绵绵无期！

The long river of history is rolling. It's Li Bai. His hair is three thousand feet white, and his sorrow is like a long one. But what he worries about is the misfortune of being demoted. He came here to drink to relieve his sorrow. It's Li Yu, "how much worry can you have? It's like a river flowing eastward in spring. "But what he worries about is the sorrow of his small home. At last, the emperor of the Southern Tang Dynasty can only end up with a cup of poisonous wine. It's Li Qingzhao, "this time, how can I get it?" but she is just worried about the endless period of missing!

有谁愁的是旷世的悲哀？有谁愁的是古今的灾难？他们在这岸边徘徊、沉吟、挥泪，历史在岸边的礁石上刻下了他们不朽的名字。

Who cares about the sorrow of the world? Who worries about ancient and modern disasters? They wandered, pondered and wept on the shore, and history carved their immortal names on the rocks.

三闾大夫停留过，思考过，“路漫漫其修远兮，吾将上下而求索”，这是他情怀的写照吧！举身赴汨罗，这是他愁绪的延续吧！我看见了他的悲哀，看尽了他的痛楚，他默默地走开，却留给后世以悲壮！

Dr. Sanlu has stayed and thought, "it's a long way to go. I'll go up and down and ask for help." this is a picture of his feelings! Lift up to Miluo, this is the continuation of his melancholy! I saw his sorrow and saw all his pain. He walked away silently, but left it to the later generations!

鲁迅先生停留过，他用铁一样的笔杆批判着，弃医从文的选择是因为他在忧愁，他的肩上有着自古至今的愁！“人吃人”的社会是他批判的：“救救孩子”的呼吁是他发出的：“横眉冷对千夫指，俯首甘为孺子牛”是他留给后人的思索。因为他无所畏惧，所以他会承担这无尽的愁，给世界一个解释！

Mr. Lu Xun has stayed, he criticizes with the iron like pen, the choice of abandoning medicine from literature is because of his sorrow, and his shoulder has the sorrow since ancient times! "People eat people" society is his criticism: "save the children" call is he sent out: "cross brow cold to thousands of fingers, bow to be willing to be a willing ox" is his left thinking for future generations. Because he is fearless, he will bear the endless worries and give an explanation to the world!

“有的人死了，但他还活着”，有多少人的愁穿越时空，绵延至今；有多少人的愁承前启后，亘古不衰？是啊！他们还活着，他们仍然在愁着。

"Some people are dead, but they are still alive." how many people's worries have gone through time and space, and have continued to this day. How many people's worries have been lasting? Yeah! They are still alive, they are still worried.

一肩担尽古今愁，担起旷世的悲哀，承起前人的启示，留给后人启迪。是责任还是义务？是责任！

One shoulder bears all the worries of the past and the present, bears the sorrows of the open world, bears the Enlightenment of the predecessors, and leaves the enlightenment for the future generations. Responsibility or obligation? Responsibility!

一肩担尽古今愁，担起民族的兴衰。忧劳可以兴国，逸豫可以亡身。他们曾在民族的崛起时留下名字，不朽于史册，名垂千古！

One shoulder bears the sorrows of the past and the present, and bears the rise and fall of the nation. Sorrow and labor may prosper the country, and leisure may perish. They once left their names in the rise of the nation, immortal in the history books, lasting for thousands of years!

一肩担尽古今愁，需要勇气也需要力量，但这是每个热血沸腾的中华儿女都应担起的重任，谁都不能退缩，谁也不能退缩！

It takes courage and strength to shoulder all the worries of the past and the present, but this is a task that every passionate Chinese people should shoulder. No one can shrink back, no one can shrink back!

一肩担尽古今愁需要坚实的肩膀啊！

A solid shoulder is needed to bear all the worries of the past and the present!

[名师点评]

[comments on famous teachers]

文章值得说道的有以下几点：

The following points are worth mentioning:

一、立意不俗，选材精当。文章以“一肩担尽古今愁”为题，以历史人物为思维定点，然后一步步搜寻，到底什么是“古今愁”，到底什么样的人能担起“古今愁”，顺着这个思路，作者引出了屈原、鲁迅，并以此佐证只有这样的人，担的才是古今愁，只有这样的人，才能担起古今愁！这“古今愁”就是对国家、社会的一种责任，能担起这样“古今愁”的人应该有坚实的肩膀。

1、 The idea is not vulgar, and the material selection is precise. This article takes "one shoulder bears all the worries of ancient and modern times" as the title, takes historical figures as the thinking point, and then searches step by step, what is "ancient and modern worries" and what kind of people can bear "ancient and modern worries". Following this thinking, the author leads out Qu Yuan and Lu Xun, and proves that only such people can bear ancient and modern worries, and only such people can bear ancient and modern worries! This "ancient and modern sorrow" is a kind of responsibility to the country and society. People who can bear this "ancient and modern sorrow" should have a solid shoulder.

二、结构严谨。文章围绕“一肩担尽古今愁”来行文，列举了各种材料，但都围绕这个中心。

2、 Rigorous structure. This article focuses on "shoulder all the worries of the past and the present" and lists various materials, but all around this center.

三、语言富于变化。语句整散交互出现，语势丰沛！

3、 Language is full of variety. The sentences are scattered and interactive, and the language is rich!