踮起脚尖

从春到冬，母亲踮起脚尖迎接新的一天；从小到大，母亲踮起脚尖为我撑一方爱的晴空。——题记

From spring to winter, my mother stood on tiptoe to welcome the new day; from small to large, my mother stood on tiptoe to support a clear sky of love for me. -- inscription

想起母亲，便想起她很多个画面。每一个画面里，母亲的姿势都是踮起脚尖。

When I think of my mother, I think of many pictures of her. In every picture, the mother's posture is tiptoe.

她踮起脚尖卖力地踩着打禾机；她踮起脚尖把一筐筐的稻谷放进高高的谷仓里；她踮起脚尖摘下树上的桃儿、桔子，挑到几里外的集市上卖；在集市的人堆里，她高声叫卖，那姿势仍是踮起脚尖……但给我印象最深刻的还是……

She stood on tiptoe and worked hard on the threshing machine; she stood on tiptoe and put baskets of rice into the high barn; she stood on tiptoe and picked up peaches and oranges from the trees and sold them in the market a few miles away; in the crowd of the market, she cried loudly, which was still on tiptoe But what impresses me most is

一

One

五岁那年秋天。四里外的赵村放电影。母亲说好要带我去看的，可等她把碗洗好，把猪草剁好，装到大荷叶锅里后，我们匆匆赶到赵村的时候，电影已经开始了。更重要的事：晒谷坪上早就聚集了很多人，连两旁堆起的草垛上也是人。我们挤不到前面去，站在后面根本看不见，我急得直嚷嚷。母亲迅速地把我架在脖子上，“哎，好！还差一点！看不完整。”母亲又调整了一下身体，这下我能完全看见了。当时，也没有去想，只知去看并不看得太懂的电影。许多年后，我回忆起童年来，便明白了那晚，我能看到电影的原因，是我一直骑在母亲的脖子上，是母亲一直踮起脚尖，踮了一个晚上。而她看到的却只是别人的后背。

Five years old that autumn. Zhao village, four miles away, shows a movie. Mother said she would take me to see it, but when she washed the bowl, chopped up the pig grass and put it into the big lotus leaf pot, we hurried to Zhao village when the movie had already begun. What's more important: a lot of people have gathered on the Sun Valley terrace for a long time, even on the haystacks piled on both sides. We couldn't get to the front. I couldn't see from the back. I yelled in a hurry. My mother quickly put me on her neck! It's a little bit closer! It's not complete. " Mother adjusted her body again, so I could see it completely. At that time, I didn't think about it. I only knew to watch movies that I didn't understand very well. Many years later, when I recalled my childhood, I understood that the reason why I could see the movie was that I had been riding on my mother's neck, and my mother had been on tiptoe all night. And all she saw was someone else's back.

二

Two

十五岁那年夏天，我中考。(那时，时兴考中专，特别是我这样的农村孩子，跳出农门，有份工作，就是长辈最大的心愿。)

That summer when I was 15, I took the middle school entrance examination. (at that time, it was fashionable to take the entrance examination of secondary school, especially for rural children like me, to jump out of the farm and have a job was the greatest wish of the elders. )

记得6月18号那天，考完语文，我走出考场，一眼就看到了人群里的母亲。她正踮起脚尖，探出半个身子，向这边张望呢！我跑过去，轻声责备说：“妈，你怎么来了，咱家正在割麦子呢，忙都忙不过来！”母亲笑笑，从塑料袋里拿出两张鸡蛋饼，还有几个鸡蛋，塞给我说，“我送这个来给你吃，你最喜欢吃的了！天太热，没弄太多，怕坏，饿了吧！快吃”

I remember on June 18, when I finished my Chinese test, I walked out of the test room and saw my mother in the crowd. She is standing on tiptoe, leaning out half of her body, looking over here! I ran over and said softly, "Mom, why are you here? We are cutting wheat. We are too busy!" Mother smiled, took out two egg cakes from the plastic bag, and a few eggs, stuffed them to me and said, "I'll send this to you, your favorite! It's too hot. I haven't done too much. I'm afraid it's bad. I'm hungry! Eat quickly "

我接过，低头看见母亲头上还粘着几根小小的麦穗，一时不知说什么好，只是在心里暗下决心，一定要考好！

I took over, looked down and saw a few little ears of wheat sticking to my mother's head. I didn't know what to say for a while, but I made up my mind to do well in the exam!

三

Three

二十五岁那年冬天，我失恋了，我觉得我的整个世界，都冻了，都塌了。一个人漫无目的地走在冷冷的风里，万念俱灰！不知什么时候，下起了米渣子(冰雹)，我不管；又不知过了多久，飘起了鹅毛般的雪花，我还是没管。后来，不知怎么的，走着走着，就回到了家。母亲见到我从单位回来，又惊又喜，连忙帮我拍去身上的雪花，“头发上也有，别动，妈妈帮你弄下来！”母亲边说着，就踮起脚尖，张开双臂，去弄我头上的雪。刹那间，我感到一种巨大的温暖弥漫全身，这一刻，我明白：就算我失去了整个世界，我还拥有母亲，还有母亲暖暖的爱。我有什么理由不积极地生活呢？

In the winter when I was 25 years old, I was lovelorn. I felt that my whole world was frozen and collapsed. A person walks aimlessly in the cold wind, all thoughts are exhausted! I don't know when the rice dregs (hail) come down, I don't care; I don't know how long it's been, there's a feather like snowflake, I still don't care. Later, somehow, walking, I came back home. When my mother saw me coming back from work, she was surprised and pleased. She helped me to take pictures of the snowflakes on my body. "There are also some on my hair. Don't move. My mother will help you get them down!" Mother said, on tiptoe, open arms, to get the snow on my head. For a moment, I felt a huge warmth all over my body. At this moment, I understood that even if I lost the whole world, I still had my mother and her warm love. Why don't I live actively?

四

Four

我正准备午睡的时候，听到客厅里窸窸窣窣的声音，过来一看，是母亲，她正踮起脚尖，蹑手蹑脚的，“妈，什么事呀！”“呀，把你吵醒啦！”母亲像做错事的孩子，“没事，我送点青菜过来！顺便看看，你们有没有要洗的衣服！……噢，快去睡！快去！”我没能拗过母亲，她硬是把我儿子换下的脏衣服拿走了。

When I was about to take a nap, I heard a rustle in the living room. When I came to have a look, it was my mother. She was tiptoeing and tiptoeing. "Mom, what can I do for you?" "Ah, wake you up!" The mother is like a child who does something wrong. "It's OK, I'll send some vegetables! By the way, do you have any laundry Oh, go to sleep! Go! " I couldn't beat my mother. She just took away the dirty clothes my son had changed.

这一年，我三十四岁，母亲五十七岁。她在我所在的学校食堂做临时工，一份几百块钱的工作，她却比谁都看重，都珍惜。空余时间，还在食堂后面的空地上，种了菜，时不时地来帮我做做家务……

This year, I was thirty-four and my mother was fifty-seven. She works as a temporary worker in the canteen of my school, a job of several hundred yuan, but she values and cherishes it more than anyone else. In my spare time, I planted vegetables in the open space behind the canteen and came to help me do housework from time to time

母亲拿着脏衣服的身影已经走远，灶台上，放着她刚刚从地里摘下的青菜，翠绿翠绿的，还闪着光。往事一幕一幕，那踮起脚尖的身影在我的泪眼前交错浮现，告诉我许多，也教会我许多，还提醒我许多……

The figure of mother with dirty clothes has gone far. On the hearth, there are vegetables she just picked from the ground. They are green and shining. In the past, the figure on tiptoe appeared before my tears, telling me a lot, teaching me a lot and reminding me a lot

【满分理由】文贵出新。读罢这篇满分作文，我们只觉得一股清新之气扑面而来，而这“新”体现为以下三个方面：

[Full Score reason] your article is new. After reading this full score composition, we only feel a fresh breath coming, and this "new" is reflected in the following three aspects:

一是立意别出心裁。小作者截取横断面的形式来写，确有不同凡响之处。更可称道的是，文章能通过“踮起脚尖”这一个个细节凸现深刻的主旨——母爱。其立意深刻，寓意之深广，是显而易见的。

One is to be creative. It's really remarkable that the small author takes the form of cross section to write. More commendable is that the article can highlight the profound theme - maternal love through "tiptoe" details. It is obvious that it has a profound meaning and a wide range of implications.

二是写法独到新颖。文章围绕“踮起脚尖”，运用总分总结构，以时间依次为经，以细节为纬，展现了一幅幅“别开生面”的慈母爱子图画，以状写人物行动为开端，中间也借助各个人物行动来突出人物性格，结尾重扣人物行动，而画龙点睛式的人物神态、人物语言，为表现人物及主题增色不少。

Second, the writing method is original and novel. Centering on "stand on tiptoe", using the total score structure, taking time as the longitude and details as the latitude, this paper presents a "new" picture of loving mother and son, starting with the description of characters' actions, and highlighting characters' characters with the help of various characters' actions. At the end, it focuses on characters' actions, while the finishing touches of characters' expressions and characters' language are used to express characters and masters The questions add a lot of color.

三是组织能力新巧。全文谋篇布局，独出心裁。不说序词的运用，单说横断面的截取，就匠心独具。作者截取“五岁”“十五岁”“三十五岁”“四十岁”等四个人生阶段，表现从小到大，从读书到成家，“母亲踮起脚尖为我撑一方爱的晴空”的主旨。能达到如此新巧的构思，实为难得。文中有《乡愁》的影子。(高星云点评)

Third, new organizational skills. Full text layout, ingenuity. Not to mention the use of preface words, but to say the interception of cross-section, it is unique. The author intercepts the four life stages of "five years old", "fifteen years old", "thirty-five years old" and "forty years old", and expresses the main idea of "mother stands on tiptoe to support the clear sky of love for me" from small to large, from reading to family. It's hard to get such a new idea. There is the shadow of nostalgia in the article. (comments on Gaoyun)

【档次及得分】(一类作文卷上)计分：内容25+表达25+发展等级10=60

[grade and score] (on class I composition paper) score: content 25 + expression 25 + development level 10 = 60