——致甜甜同学的一封信
——A letter to Tiantian
甜甜同学:
Sweet students:
你好!看见你的这封信,第一感觉就是“我找到一个伙伴,一个敢让我说出心里话的伙伴”!这些话不能说给爸爸妈妈,因为他们听不懂,而你一定能读懂……
Hello! See your letter, the first feeling is "I find a partner, a partner who dare to let me say what I mean"! These words can't be said to mom and Dad, because they can't understand, and you must be able to understand
我想要去流浪,不是逃避.而是期待;我想要去流浪,不是幻想,而是追求。
I want to wander, not escape. But expect; I want to wander, not fantasy, but pursuit.
着一身破旧的牛仔服,骑一匹瘦弱的马,怀抱一把旧吉它。没有方向,没有目标,有的
Wearing a shabby jeans, riding a thin horse, holding an old guitar. No direction, no goal, yes
只是一种浪子情怀,一种别样的个性,一种淡淡的叛逆。
It's just a kind of prodigal feelings, a kind of different personality, a kind of light rebellion.
在钢筋水泥的丛林里,发达的社会中生活着孤僻的新人类,竞争、挑战、精英无休止的响在你的耳边,只要分数,不要友情,只要名次,不要真诚……我想要去流浪,让不愉快的往事随风而去.在与自然的对话中,做回真实的自己。
In the jungle of reinforced concrete, in the developed society, there are lonely new human beings. Competition, challenge and elites are ringing in your ears endlessly. As long as score, friendship, rank and sincerity are needed I want to go wandering and let the unpleasant past go with the wind. In the dialogue with nature, I want to be myself.
谁说“少年不识愁滋味”。君不见,考前几日,无论往日如何谈笑风生,看淡一切,此时都在埋头苦读,磨那杆不快也光的“老枪”。考后的排名把人分成三六九等。这份酸楚是无法言表的。我想要去流浪,不必担心成功与失败,寻找一份难得的欢乐。
Who said, "young people don't know what it's like to be sad.". You don't see. A few days before the exam, no matter how chatty and funny you used to be, you are now reading hard and grinding the "old gun" that is not fast and light. The ranking after the examination divides people into 369 grades. The pain can't be expressed. I want to go wandering, do not have to worry about success and failure, looking for a rare joy.
我想去撒哈拉。让漫漫黄沙隔绝城市的喧嚣,看看那远离现代都市的古老文明,登上神秘的金字塔,守护这片无垠的空旷。倾听一段古老的传说,让心潮再次澎湃。
I want to go to Sahara. Let the long yellow sand cut off the noise of the city, see the ancient civilization far away from the modern city, climb the mysterious pyramid, guard the boundless emptiness. Listen to an old legend, let the mood surge again.
我想去亚马逊。让片片雨林遮住烦恼与忧愁,去体味那份原始的宁静,看看美丽而又可怕的食人鱼。曾经梦中追寻的一切如今都可以一一实现。
I want to go to Amazon. Let a piece of rain forest cover the worries and sorrows, to taste the original peace, and to see the beautiful and terrible piranha. All that was once pursued in the dream can now be realized one by one.
我想登上珠峰。呼吸8848米高空的空气,触摸千年不化的积雪。
I want to Mount Everest. Breathe 8848 meters of air, touch the Millennium snow.
在流浪人的词典里,没有寂寞,没有孤独。什么都可以想,什么都可以不想。可以躺在沙摊上看旭日东升、夕阳西下,可以在漆黑的旷野里狂奔。不必压抑自己的感情。对着苍穹发泄自己的一切,那种快意是无法表达的。自然——永远是你最忠实的朋友。
In the dictionary of tramps, there is no loneliness, no loneliness. You can think of anything, you can think of nothing. You can lie on the sand stand and watch the rising sun and the setting sun. You can run in the dark wilderness. You don't have to suppress your feelings. It's impossible to express the pleasure of venting all your things to the sky. Nature - always your most loyal friend.
在流浪人眼里,天永远是蓝的,海永远是绿的,草永远是青的。
In the eyes of tramps, the sky is always blue, the sea is always green, and the grass is always green.
我想要去流浪,没有太多的理由,只是一种心情。
I want to go wandering, there are not many reasons, just a mood.
甜甜同学,你能和我一道去吗?盼望你的回音。
Sweetie, can you come with me? I look forward to your reply.
一个关心你的同学
A classmate who cares about you
【阅卷简批】
[review and approval]
90后生在众人的“谐音”中就是“非主流”,叛逆的一代。就如作者自己所言的那样特立独行——“没有方向,没有目标,有的只是一种浪子情怀,一种别样的个性,一种淡淡的叛逆。”作者的这篇文章是对90后的一种代表性的全面剖析,道出了心中的无奈与深怨。这是一篇具有挑战性的文章,直面现实,贞言不讳。而作者这般尖锐、独立的讲叙从心理上来说就已经构成了反思(即劝说)的立场。解铃还需系铃人,个人心理上的烦恼其实也只有自己主动努力才能排除的,作者的长篇大论实则就是对于无奈的发泄,这就是心理疗法的体现。所以说作者的立场同样站在劝说的角度,符合命题的写作宗旨。
Born in the "homophony" of the public, the post-90s generation is a "non mainstream" and rebellious generation. As the author himself said, "there is no direction, no goal, only a kind of prodigal feelings, a different personality, a kind of light rebellion." The author's article is a representative analysis of the post-90s, which reveals the helplessness and deep resentment in his heart. This is a challenging article, face the reality, and be honest. The author's sharp and independent narration has formed the position of introspection (persuasion) psychologically. To solve the problem, we need to tie the bell. In fact, the psychological troubles can only be eliminated by our own efforts. In fact, the author's long speech is to vent the helpless, which is the embodiment of psychotherapy. Therefore, the author's position is also in the perspective of persuasion, which conforms to the writing purpose of the proposition.
[发展等级]
[development level]
语言流利,句式优美,意境恬雅是本文最大的特点。“我想要去流浪,不是逃避.而是期待;我想要去流浪,不是幻想,而是追求。”“在流浪人眼里,天永远是蓝的,海永远是绿的,草永远是青的。”这些语句的描写给了文章诗意般的灵魂,使读者读来朗朗上口,毫不生涩,给人一种心灵上的甜美享受。
Fluent language, beautiful sentence structure and elegant artistic conception are the biggest characteristics of this paper. "I want to wander, not to escape. But to expect; I want to wander, not to dream, but to pursue." "In the eyes of tramps, the sky is always blue, the sea is always green, and the grass is always green." The description of these sentences gives the poetic soul of the article, which makes the readers read it easily, without any astringency, and gives people a kind of sweet enjoyment in mind.
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