战胜自己

蓝色的蛹，束缚着青春，带来无限挣扎的伤痛；金色的蝴蝶，翩翩起舞，为您诉说破茧而出的新生的喜悦……

The blue chrysalis binds the youth and brings the pain of endless struggle; the golden butterfly, dancing, tells you the joy of new life coming out of the chrysalis

——题记

-- inscription

蓝色的蛹

Blue pupa

人们说我是一个“不合群”的病孩子，我自己认为也是。我不喜欢嘈杂的人群，我不喜欢别人无意闯进我的生活，我只喜欢静静地看着人流，无风吹过的心畔，激不起阵阵的涟漪，惟独自己孤芳自赏。逐渐地，我为自己编织着蓝色的蛹，含泪诉说着青春的伤痛，把自己重重包围，只有蓝色的忧郁陪伴着我……

People say I'm an "out of group" sick child, and I think so. I don't like noisy people. I don't like people who have no intention to break into my life. I just like watching the flow of people quietly. I can't stir up ripples by the side of my heart when there's no wind. I'm just enjoying myself. Gradually, I weave blue pupae for myself, tearfully tell the pain of youth, surround myself, only blue melancholy accompanies me

破茧的挣扎

Cocoon breaking struggle

在蓝色的蛹里，暗无天日，我见不着光明，看不到希望。我极力挣扎，孤独感笼罩着我。我的心蠢蠢欲动了，我渴望破茧后的新生，渴望去外面的世界再次见到新生的太阳。可是我又害怕着畏缩在角落里。我是如此矛盾，我渴望新生，却害怕破茧后阳光的刺痛。青春，就是如此的神秘，它引领着人们走向成熟。强烈的新生欲望，使我破茧而出，走向光明……

In the blue pupa, there is no light or hope in the dark. I struggled so hard that I felt lonely. My heart is ready to move, I am eager to break the cocoon of new life, eager to go to the outside world to see the new sun again. But I was afraid to cower in the corner. I am so contradictory, I long for new life, but I am afraid of the sting of sunshine after cocoon breaking. Youth is such a mystery that it leads people to maturity. Strong desire for new life makes me break out of the cocoon and go to the light

金色的蝴蝶

The Golden Butterfly

破茧新生的蝴蝶，翩翩起舞。我不再孤独，我的生命中再次点燃了爱和希望的灯盏，我勇敢地奔向蓝天，在花丛中飞越，享受着阳光的和煦。化作金色蝴蝶的我飞向青春的绚烂……

The new butterflies are dancing. I am no longer lonely, my life once again lit the lamp of love and hope, I bravely ran to the blue sky, flying in the flowers, enjoying the warmth of the sun. I turn into a golden butterfly and fly to the splendor of youth

左手青春，右手年华！青春是破茧而出的新生。冲破青春束缚的我，也如此美丽迷人！

Left hand youth, right hand youth! Youth is a new generation coming out of the cocoon. I break through the shackles of youth, so beautiful and charming!

点评：在每年的中考作文阅卷过程中，有一类作文让人眼前一亮。其基本结构为：文前有“题记”，有的文后还有“后记”；文中用几个并列关系或递进关系的小标题来构架全文。如上文，开头有简洁的题记；主体部分用了三个小标题：“蓝色的蛹”、“破茧的挣扎”、“金色的蝴蝶”。小标题对各个段落的内容起了画龙点睛的作用，而小标题之间的递进关系，显示了“战胜自己”的心路历程。连续评卷的疲劳之际，忽见此类文章，自然会产生一种特别的审美愉悦。

Comments: in the process of the composition marking of the senior high school entrance examination every year, there is a kind of composition that makes people bright in front of their eyes. Its basic structure is as follows: there are "inscriptions" in front of the text, and "postscript" in some of the text; in the text, several parallel or progressive sub headings are used to frame the full text. As mentioned above, there are simple inscriptions at the beginning; three subtitles are used in the main part: "blue pupa", "cocoon breaking struggle", "golden butterfly". The subtitle plays a key role in the content of each paragraph, and the progressive relationship between the subtitles shows the process of "conquering yourself". During the fatigue of continuous marking, it will naturally produce a special aesthetic pleasure to see such articles suddenly.

本文以优美的语言，显示了小作者丰富的想像能力，让人得到美的享受。一是在整体上，以“结茧”、“破茧”、“化蝶”这一自然界的生命现象来象征青春期的困惑、抗争与新生的历程，显得非常新颖而贴切；二是各个段落中，生动传神的语言比比皆是。如：以“无风吹过的心畔，激不起阵阵的涟漪”、“把自己重重包围，只有蓝色的忧郁陪伴着我”来形容青春的自闭；以“我渴望新生，却害怕破茧后阳光的刺痛”来揭示极度矛盾的心理；以“我的生命中再次点燃了爱和希望的灯盏，我勇敢地奔向蓝天，在花丛中飞越，享受着阳光的和煦”来渲染冲破封闭获得新生的欣喜。

With beautiful language, this paper shows the rich imagination ability of the author, and makes people enjoy the beauty. On the whole, it is novel and appropriate to symbolize the perplexity, struggle and rebirth of adolescence with the natural life phenomena of "cocoon forming", "cocoon breaking" and "butterfly changing"; on the other hand, vivid and vivid language is everywhere in each paragraph. For example, to describe the youth's autistic with "the heart without wind can't stir up the ripples" and "surrounded by myself, only blue melancholy accompanies me"; to reveal the extremely contradictory psychology with "I yearn for new life, but fear the sting of sunshine after breaking the cocoon"; to "light the lamp of love and hope again in my life, I bravely rush to the blue sky, in the flowers Fly over and enjoy the warmth of the sun "to render the joy of breaking through the closure and getting new life.

可能是因为考场特定的紧张氛围，本文也存在着明显的缺陷。全文“自闭”的痛苦表现得比较充分，而“战胜”的过程却过于简单，只用“青春，就是如此的神秘，它引领着人们走向成熟。强烈的新生欲望，使我破茧而出，走向光明”两句话一带而过。战胜自己，重在写战胜的过程，如果只是一语带过，则这种“胜利”就难有说服力，就不能让读者得到启迪。另处，文章在语言上也有一些值得推敲的地方。如“蓝色的蛹，束缚着青春”这个比喻中，“蛹”应该是“茧”之误（后文“为自己编织着蓝色的蛹”也是），而“蓝色”似应为“白色”；“无风吹过的心畔”中，“心畔”应为“心湖”；“惟独自己孤芳自赏”一句重复过多，应改为“惟有孤芳自赏”。

It may be because of the specific tension in the examination room, this paper also has obvious defects. The pain of "autistic" is fully expressed, but the process of "conquering" is too simple. Only "youth, which is so mysterious, leads people to maturity. The strong desire for new life made me break out of the cocoon and go to the light. To defeat oneself, we should focus on the process of victory. If we only take it with one word, this "victory" will be hard to be persuasive and will not inspire readers. On the other hand, the language of the article also has something to be considered. For example, in the metaphor of "blue chrysalis, binding youth", "chrysalis" should be the mistake of "cocoon" (later, "weaving blue chrysalis for oneself" is also the same), and "blue" should be "white"; in "windless heart bank", "heart bank" should be "heart lake"; "only one's own narcissism" should be replaced by "only one's narcissism".

瑕不掩瑜，且高考及中考作文评卷中，新颖的构思、优美的语言等，是可以加分的。本文也应在加分之列。

In addition, new ideas and beautiful language can be added to the college entrance examination and the high school entrance examination. This article should also be included in the list of bonus points.