E时代网狗Tommy的自述

Hello，大家好！我是Tommy。不错，是真的，我是一条咖啡色的沙皮狗，别说你不信哦，我的主人叫Lanny，咦？会嫌这样的陈述太陈词滥调吗？呵呵……这是我Tommy慵懒的本性嘛！

Hello, everyone! I'm Tommy. Yes, it's true. I'm a brown sanddog. Don't say you don't believe it. My owner's name is Lanny. Eh? Would such a statement be too cliche? Ha ha... This is my Tommy's lazy nature!

主人说现在是E时代了，“E”？是eat吗？唔，好像不是啊，主人常坐在电脑前，两眼直勾勾地望着那个发亮的屏，呆坐了一天，还不停地用手指击打着一种像巧克力一样的叫做“键盘”的玩意儿。可能那就是“E”时代吧！“E”时代好像是蛮有意思的东西，不然的话，主人为何会呆坐一天而会忘记“eat”呢？呵呵，我Tommy经过每天的细致、深入地观察，发现主人每天都在上网，人们也真是的，隔着电脑屏，不管对方是男是女，是老是少，都把自己心窝里的话掏给一个陌生人听。经过我这几天的观察，人们的CHAT内容不过仅是四步曲罢了：“你是男是女？”“你在哪里？”“你几岁了？”“你叫啥？”哇噻！真是老套！连我Tommy都能说的！和主人聊的都是一些自称“漂亮美眉”、“芳龄十八”的！去，骗谁来着？网上哪会变出那么多的“漂亮妹妹“啊？！人的本性真是倍儿虚！

The host said it's the E-era, "e"? Is it eat? Well, it seems that it's not. The host often sits in front of the computer and looks at the bright screen with his eyes straight. After sitting for a day, he keeps hitting a chocolate like thing called "keyboard" with his fingers. Maybe that's the "e" era! "E" era seems to be a very interesting thing, otherwise, why would the host sit for a day and forget "eat"? Ha ha, after careful and in-depth observation every day, my Tommy found that the host is surfing the Internet every day, and people are really, across the computer screen, no matter whether the other party is male or female, it is always rare, they all take out their own words to a stranger. After my observation these days, people's chat content is just a four step song: "are you male or female?" "Where are you?" "How old are you?" "What's your name?" WOW! What a cliche! Even Tommy can say it! And the host is talking about some self proclaimed "beautiful girl", "Fangling 18"! Go, who are you kidding? How can there be so many "beautiful sisters" on the Internet?! Man's nature is double empty!

嘿嘿！今天主人出门了，下午由我Tommy当家！我爬到电脑前面，Lucky！主人还没下网，名字还挂在Chatroom上。呵呵，让我网狗Tommy来试试网上冲浪的感觉吧！人们常说“虎父无犬子”，跟了主人那么多年了，可以说“虎主人无犬狗”！咦？“犬”？“狗”？好像一个意思嘛！

Hey! Today, the host went out. I'm Tommy in charge this afternoon! I climb up to the computer, lucky! The owner is not off the net yet, and his name is still on chatroom. Ha ha, let my net dog Tommy try to surf the Internet! People often say that "the tiger father has no dog and son". After so many years with the owner, we can say that "the tiger owner has no dog and dog"! Why? "Dog"? "Dog"? It seems to mean the same thing!

chatroom里面怎么会有那么多的人？人们不用干活吗？名字不是“美丽”、“小美”就是“美眉”的？哼！耍我来的，谁相信啊！哈哈，有人和我说话啦！他（她）叫做PLMM，咦？怎么没有见过这个英文？莫非是拼音之缩写“破烂妹妹”？不管！聊了再说！

How can there be so many people in chatroom? Don't people have to work? Is the name "Meili", "Xiaomei" or "Meimei"? Hum! I'm here. Who believes it! Ha ha, someone is talking to me! His (her) name is plmm, eh? How come I haven't seen this English? Is it the abbreviation of pinyin "broken sister"? No matter! Talk about it!

PLMM：“阁下是男是女啊？”废话，我是条狗狗！我照例发话过去，但是无奈我的爪子没有人的手那样灵活，只有精工细做了！

Plmm: "are you male or female?" Nonsense, I'm a dog! I said as usual, but my claws were not as flexible as the hands of others, only the meticulous work!

PLMM：“谁相信啊！那你叫什么名字啊？几岁？”我又照实情说了，要知道做条好狗，诚实便是金字招牌！

Plmm: "who believes it! What's your name then? How old? " I told you the truth again. To be a good dog, honesty is the golden sign!

“我的的确确是条网狗！我叫Tommy，今年嘛，正值中年，有9岁了！”对方传来的只是大笑的符号。

"My dog is a net indeed! My name is Tommy. This year, I'm in middle age. I'm nine years old! " It's just a sign of laughter.

“你们人类不是常说‘在网上谁也不知道你是条狗’的吗？的确我就是那条狗！”

"Don't you humans often say 'nobody knows you're a dog online'? Indeed I am the dog! "

PLMM：“呵！男孩你真可爱！”

Plmm: "Oh! How lovely you are, boy! "

我的天！他（她）怎么就是不相信我的话。看来“人性是虚伪的”说得果然不错！哎呀，主人要来了，我得下了。Bye——bye！

Oh my god! He (she) just doesn't believe me. It seems that "human nature is hypocritical" is indeed true! Oh, the master is coming. I have to. Bye——bye！

嘻嘻，我是一条快乐的网狗Tommy！

Hee hee, I am a happy net dog Tommy!