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In my ad, I lied about my age.
在我的(征婚)广告上,关于我的年龄我撒了谎。
注:一个老头对妙龄女郎说。
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
广告含有报纸上唯一可以依赖的事实。
注:虽然卖东西的广告吹得天花乱坠,但至少应该还有那种东西。而报纸上的八卦资讯一点儿事实根据都没有。
Affect
Evolutionary economists
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
进化论经济学家的对话:
问:法国革命是怎样影响世界经济增长的?
答:现在说还为时过早。
注:法国革命都过去这么多年了,经济学家还不敢预测它对世界经济的影响,讽刺这些经济学家在那混饭吃。
Regular service or affected?
您是要一般服务还是要虚情假意式的服务?
注:饭店服务员对客人这么说,“一般服务”应该是脸上冷冰冰的服务,如果需要“微笑服务”,他们明确告诉你那是假装的。
Does the sun affect weight?
It makes the daylight. .
太阳影响重量吗?
它发出光线。
注:It makes the daylight. .它使日光变轻了。
Affection
I would like to treat him like a treasure; and bury him with care and affection.
我愿意象对待珠宝一样对待他,充满关爱深情地把他埋起来。
注:你们班某个同学成绩好,体育好,光芒四射,你有点儿嫉妒,你这么说,表示你的善良。
Protestation[宣言] of undying[地老天荒] affection are never ridiculous when they are accompanied [I] by emeralds.[纯绿宝石]
地老天荒的爱的宣言如果有珠宝相伴从来都不显得荒谬。(重复)
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?
It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
当你晚上回到家,一个女人会将你一点儿爱、一点儿情、一点儿温柔,你知道那意味着什么吗?
它意味着你走错房间了,这就是它的意思。
注:有人说你如果有了老婆,回家后有人疼你,可你对婚姻比较悲观,觉得那样的老婆不属于自己。
Afford
Patient: Doc, can you cure me of compulsive lying?
Psychologist: Yes, if you have enough money to afford the expensive treatment.
Patient: No problem, I just won lottery yesterday.
病人:医生,你能治好我的强迫性说谎症吗?
精神病医生:能,如果你有钱支付昂贵的治疗费。
病人:没问题,我昨天刚中了六合彩。
Rose: Where are you going on your vacation this year?
Violet: With prices the way they are, about all I can afford is to stay home and let my mind wander!
Rose: 今年你假期要去哪儿?
Violet:照目前的价格,我能负担起的就是呆在家里让思想游荡了。
I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
我可浪费不起时间去挣钱。
注:现在人人都在想方设法挣钱,如果你连挣钱的时间都挤不出来,那也挺牛的。
Afterwards
I am most fond of talking and thinking; that is to say, talking first and thinking afterward.
我最喜欢谈话和思考了——就是说,先谈话后思考。
注:谈话时候根本不思考。
In Eastern countries a woman never sees her husband before marriage.
In Western countries, she doesn't see him afterwards.
东方国家女人结婚前从没见过她的丈夫,西方国家的女人结婚后就见不着丈夫了。
注:中国古代时候结婚前很多女人没见过丈夫,西方国家的丈夫结婚后就不着家了。
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn’t explain away afterwards.
我的一生中从来没有犯过错误;至少没有事后解释不清的错误。
注:他不是没犯过错误,而是总能把错误推到别人身上。
Agency
I’d like to involve Billy in the government. I’ve been thinking of reorganizing and putting CIA and the FBI together. But Billy said he wouldn’t head up any agency he couldn’t spell.
我想让比利参与政府的管理,我一直考虑把CIA和FBI重组合并,但比利说他不愿意在他拼不出名字的机构里当头儿。
注:一位总统想给弟弟找个差事,弄一个机构让弟弟当头儿,但弟弟连那个机构的名字都拼不出来。
Agenda
DNA means: "Do Not Ask."
DNA means: "Doing Nature's Agenda"
DNA means: "Do Nothing Artificial."
DNA意思是:不要问;
DNA意思是:上卫生间;
DNA意思是:不要做作。
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