借钱给亲友的五大黄金法则

Getting hit up for a loan can make you feel like you’re stepping into a minefield. In today’s economy, it’s easy to understand how someone can find themselves in a dark place financially. On the one hand, you want to help out a loved one who’s in need.

当有人向你借钱时，你会感到如踏雷区。在当今的经济形势下，要明白他人如何身处财政噩梦并不是一件难事，但另一方面，你也想帮助亲近之人摆脱危机。

On the other hand, you’ve heard the stories about loans gone wrong, with friendships ruined and families torn apart. Also, you may be depleting funds that you might need yourself, says Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist, author and producer of TheFriendshipBlog.com. Even if you’re sure that the asker will pay you back, it’s hard to know if you should proceed.

然而，你一定没少听过这样的事：借钱借出了问题，导致友情破裂，家庭破碎。TheFriendshipBlog.com网站作者兼编辑，心理学博士艾琳•S•莱文表示，你还有可能因此花光自己需要的钱。即使你确信借款者会还款，你也不确定是否该把钱借出去。

To help guide you toward making the right decision, we asked financial experts to share five key things to consider before cracking open your wallet.

为了帮助各位在打开荷包前做出正确的决定，我们邀请财务专家向大家分享了5点宝贵意见。

Rule 1: Only Say Yes if You Mean It

法则1：想借再借

If you feel guilt-tripped into making the loan by the asker (“I’m desperate!”) or you question your own hesitation (“I must be a bad person or I wouldn’t feel conflicted”), then turn her down, says Levine.

莱文表示，如果你因为愧疚才借款给请求者（“我走投无路了！”）或质疑自己的犹豫不决（“我一定是个坏人，否则我就不会这么矛盾了”），那么就选择拒绝。

If you do cough up the cash when you aren’t sure you want to, you risk feeling resentful, and that can cripple the relationship before it’s even time for her to repay you. Not going through with the loan doesn’t make you selfish or a bad friend; the response may actually protect your bond, she adds.

如果你在不确定是否想要借钱时勉强借钱给对方，那么你很可能会感到愤懑不满，这种感觉甚至会在借款人还款前就摧毁你们间的友谊。莱文补充道，不借钱不意味着你很自私或是一个不合格的朋友，正确的回应才能真正维护你们间的感情。

Levine suggests graciously declining with a sentiment like, “I’d really like to help, but I don’t have the extra money to loan right now.” If you feel like you need to explain further, mention an unexpected expense you were recently hit with, such as higher health insurance premiums, or something you have to save for, like your kids’ college education.

莱文建议，婉拒对方时需带着一种情感，比如“我真的很想帮助你，但现在手头上没有多余的闲钱。”如果你觉得有必要再做进一步解释，那么可以提一些近期碰上的意外开销，比如高额保险费，或像孩子的大学费用这类需要存钱的花费。

Offering to help brainstorm other sources for the loan or ways to bring down her debt (if that’s the situation) can be a thoughtful next move. A true friend or relative will be willing to accept no and then thank you for any additional help. If she doesn’t, better that your relationship sours before you’ve forked over any funds.

下一步体贴的做法是，帮助借款者找寻其他借款来源或想办法减轻其债务（如果这是其面临的处境）。真正的朋友或亲人会接受你的拒绝并感谢你提供的任何额外帮助。如果对方不这么做，那么这段友情还是在你提供任何资金前先破裂为妙。

Rule 2: Lend Just What You Can Afford to Lose

法则2：借出的数额在你能承受的范围内

Your friend or family member may check all the boxes for being trustworthy, financially stable and reliable, but “things can happen that prevent them from paying you back as originally planned,” says Byron Ellis, a Certified Financial Planner (TM) and managing director at Ellis and Ellis, a division of United Capital Financial Advisers in The Woodlands, Texas.

你的朋友或亲人可能会在借钱时向你承诺自己是守信、经济稳定且可靠的人，但拜伦•埃利斯表示，“可能会发生什么事导致他们不能按时还款”。埃利斯是一名注册金融理财师，也是美国德克萨斯州伍德兰市联合资本金融顾问公司Ellis & Ellis部门的总经理。

If your loanee does get in a bind, a best friend or family member is going to be relegated to the end of the payback line, “behind the mortgage company, the credit cards, the auto loans, etc.,” says Ellis. Now, imagine your stress level and the tension that would rise between you both if you actually needed that money—and she couldn’t repay you.

他认为，如果债务人真的陷入困境，那么好朋友或亲人的还款时间可以推到最后期限，“在对方还完房贷，信用卡和汽车贷款等之后”。现在，想象一下当你确实需要那笔钱，但对方却不能还你时，你的压力会倍增，两人的关系也会越来越紧张。

Bottom line: Be prepared for the worst by giving only an amount that, if never returned, wouldn’t jeopardize your own savings goals, bill-paying ability or other relationships.

底线：做最坏的打算，借给对方的钱只占手头上的一部分，如果对方不能偿还，那笔资金也不会打乱你的存钱目标、付账能力或其他人际关系。

Rule 3: Create a Firm Repayment Timeline

法则3：制定严格的还款时间表

Ten years ago Emily White, 43, lent her younger sister $20,000 to buy a house near their elderly parents, without discussing a repayment date for the loan. “I loved that my sister would be there for my parents, and the idea was for her to pay me back once she got settled and found a new job, since she had moved from out of state,” recalls White.

十年前，43岁的艾米丽•怀特借给妹妹2万美元，让她在她们年迈的父母身边买了一栋房子，但是两人并未就具体还款时间进行讨论。怀特回忆说：“我妹妹为了父母来这安家我很开心，因为她从外地搬来，一旦她安顿下来找到新工作就会还我钱。”

But as it turned out, White’s sister appeared to have another idea in mind. “Now she’s been working for years, yet she hasn’t mentioned anything about payback,” says White. “I had no idea we were on a 10-years-and-counting plan. I wouldn’t be upset, but now I’m considering some investments and that money would help.”

但结果却是，怀特的妹妹似乎心里打着别的主意。怀特表示：“现在她已经工作好几年了，对还款的事却只字未提。在这个长达十年甚至还会更长的还款计划中，我感到迷茫。我不是难过，但现在我打算做一些投资，可能会需要用到那笔钱。”

White’s mistake was thinking she and her sister were on the same page when it came to repayment—a situation that could have been avoided if she had a thought-out plan.

怀特犯的错误是，她认为自己和妹妹在还款问题上达成了共识，如果当初她谨慎地制订还款计划，上述情况本可以避免。

It might seem too businesslike, but “set specific terms for the loan that everybody can agree to,” says Ellis. “Discuss how much money will be loaned, interest rates and how long they will have to pay it back.” This way, she’ll know when she needs to come up with funds, and you’ll know when the money will be back in your account.

这看上去也许太认真见外了，但是，埃利斯建议：“为借款制定各方达成共识的详细条款，讨论借款金额、利率和还款时间。”通过这个方式，债务人知道何时需要还款，债权人也知道何时能够拿回那笔钱。

By nailing down this schedule, there’s also no mistaking this money as a gift, adds Ellis. The loanee also can’t postpone repayment indefinitely and claim she didn’t know you needed it so soon.

埃利斯补充道，确定了这个时间表，对方就不会误以为这笔钱是你送的礼物了。同时，债务人也不能无限期推迟还款时间并声称不知道债权人这么快就需要这笔钱。

As Ellis mentioned above, it’s also wise to charge interest and work that into your repayment schedule. Depending on the amount, loaning money can involve complicated tax rules; failing to charge interest might get you in trouble. To avoid this, you may want to charge the borrower the Applicable Federal Rate (APR) as interest.

正如埃利斯以上所提，收取利息并在还款时间表中给与说明是明智的选择。根据借款金额的不同，借钱也包含许多复杂的税收规定，未能收取利息可能使你陷入困境。为了避免这种情况，你需要以适用联邦利率（APR）作为利息向借款人收取费用。

Rule 4: Always Put the Loan in Writing

法则4：借款须有书面记录

Memories fade, priorities get shifted and clashing opinions over what you originally agreed to can cause problems between friends or family, says Priyanka Prakash, a finance specialist at Fit Small Business and a former business attorney.

普里扬卡•普拉卡什现任Fit Small Business的融资专家，也曾是一名商业律师，她表示，记忆退化、重心转移及对原先共识产生分歧都可能为自己和朋友或亲人间造成困扰。

Another benefit to having the amount and conditions in writing: Drawing up an official loan document makes it more likely that the borrower will take the loan seriously and pay it back on time. “So if you miss a payment, this is the piece of paper that we’ll look at that’ll help us to decide what to do, so it moves the friendship out of the way,” adds Ellis.

借款金额和条件有书面记录的另外一个好处是：制定正式借款文件会使借款人更认真对待此事并增加按时还钱的机率。埃利斯补充道：“如果没有收到还款，我们可以根据借款文件行事，这时候就得把友谊放在另外一边了。”

When registered nurse Lisa Schloeder, 49, decided to help a colleague enroll in a nursing assistant program, she wanted the $1,500 loan agreement on paper. “I saw this woman at the office every day, but I still thought it was best to put everything in writing to make sure we both understood what we were getting into,” remembers Schloeder.

49岁的注册护士丽莎•施勒德在帮同事报名参加护理员项目时，就把借给同事的1500美元报名费制成纸质借款协议。施勒德表示，“虽然我天天在医院工作都能看见她，但是我觉得最好还是把各种细节都记录下来，做到有章可循，这样就能确保我们两个人都明白应该做什么。”

Her foresight paid off. “There was a check waiting for me every two weeks as we had agreed, and I felt great seeing what an amazing nursing assistant she became for our practice,” she says.

她的远见颇有成效。她说，“就和我们当初说好的那样，把借款分成几份偿还，她每两周就会给我支票。当看到她因为这段时间的护理实践，变成一个了不起的护理员时，我不知道有多高兴呢”。

You can draft a simple personal loan agreement without hiring an attorney, Prakash says. But more complex deals—for example, if they involve collateral or involve more than $10,000—may require a lawyer to be involved.

普拉卡什认为，个人借款可以不用请律师，只需起草一份简单的借款协议即可。但是如果是比较复杂的交易，比如涉及抵押品或者金额超过一万美元时，最好还是请个律师。

Ideally, a loan agreement should be dated and state the loan amount, due date for paying it back in full, the payment schedule and any agreed-upon late payment fee (see Rule 5) or interest. Full contact information for the loaner and borrower and both of your signatures, either handwritten or electronic, are important, says Prakash.

普拉卡什表示，一份理想的借款协议应注明日期和借款金额，债务人全额还清借款的期限，还款计划以及协商好的滞纳金（详见法则5）或利息。债权人和债务人的完整联系方式，双方的签字（手写或电子版）都十分重要。

If loaners need help pulling a formal document together, they can opt to search online for a promissory note template, which states the promise to pay someone back and can help ensure that all the important details are covered. In most states a promissory note just needs to be signed by the borrower to be valid, but it’s better if you sign, too, so that the intent of both parties is clear should you have to go to court, Prakash says.

如果债权人在起草正式文件时需要帮助，可以到网上搜索借据模板，模板注有债务人保证归还债款的承诺，并确保所有的重要细节都包含在内。在多数州内，借据只要有债务人的签字即为有效，但是债权人最好也在其上签字，这样双方的意向都很明确，即使有天不得不走上法庭，也有白纸黑字的证据。

Rule 5: Never Let the Due Date Slide

法则5：不要把最后期限一拖再拖

If your dinero doesn’t show on time, ignoring the lateness or making excuses for not confronting the borrower would be a mistake. She might continue going along as if the due date you set is a loose guideline rather than a rule.

如果对方没有按时把钱还给你，你还对债务人的拖延毫无感觉，甚至还为对方找各种蹩脚的理由，这样你就大错特错了。对方非常可能依旧我行我素，把你们说好的还款日期当成是一个随意的参考而已。

Make it more businesslike, so neither of you feels like you’re taking advantage of the other. “I did this the last time I lent money to a friend,” says Ellis, who suggests putting details about a late penalty in your written agreement; a friend would have to pay the penalty on top of the regular payment. This tactic would hopefully save you from having to send reminders... and save you from regretting your decision to play banker.

所以要更认真对待这件事，这样双方都不会觉得自己占了对方便宜。埃利斯说，“最近一次借给朋友钱，我就是这么做的。”他建议在借款协议上写明所有和滞纳金有关的细节，如果朋友没有按时还钱，到时候不仅要还借款，还要再加上罚金。这样做就免去你每次都得去提醒对方还钱，也避免让你后悔当初做了借钱给对方的决定。

A five-day grace period, says Ellis, is reasonable before hitting your friend with the fine, since things do happen. If signs are pointing to more serious delinquency—a number of scheduled payments have been missed and numerous follow-up emails or phone calls from you are ignored—it might be a good idea to consult with an attorney. ”If the borrower still doesn’t pay, you can take them to court,” says Prakash.

埃利斯表示，如果朋友过了期限未还钱，在你让他还借款并支付滞纳金之前，最好给对方五天左右宽限日，因为有时的确遇到些麻烦。如果对方拖欠债务的行为越来越恶劣，说好的分期还款有几次都没有还，并且对你的邮件和电话也置之不理，这个时候最好的办法就是咨询律师接下来要怎么做了。普拉卡什说：“如果这个时候对方还不还钱，那么就得上法庭了。”

In the scenario where one lump-sum payment is being paid back after a long-term loan, it never hurts to send a reminder email a month in advance of the due date to show her that you’re sticking firm to the terms. For example, “According to the agreement we signed, the loan I gave you will be due on June 15. I’ve attached an original copy, in case you’d like to refer to it. So glad I was able to help my cousin out.”

当长期借款后，对方需要一次性还清债务时，你需要在最后期限的前一个月发邮件提醒对方，展现出你严格遵守条款的一面，这么做一点也不为过。比如说，你可以在邮件中这么写道：“根据我们双方所签署的协议，6月15号前借款应当归还。我已在邮件中附上协议原件以便参考。很高兴在我的表亲需要时能够有所帮助”。

Vocabulary

cough up：被迫付出，勉强说出

in a bind：处于困境

on the same page：达成共识

agreed-upon：一致同意的

grace period：宽限期