1. Capitalize on Positive Events
从积极的事情中受益
Ask a friend, partner, colleague, or acquaintance to tell you about something good that happened to them that day. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as they enjoyed it. While they are sharing the event, actively listen — that means really listen and be engaged by making eye contact, smiling, asking open-ended questions, and making positive comments. You will be amazed at how natural this feels once you get into the moment. Notice how your encouragement is increasing the other person’s positivity by making them feel cared about — it feels good, right? Not only that, but talking about the event together is also a positive experience which will enhance your relationship. Research has shown that romantic partners who responded to each other’s news of positive events in this active-constructive style reported greater relationship wellbeing and were less likely to break up two months later.
让你的朋友、同伴、同事或是熟人给你讲讲那天发生在他们身上的好事情。什么事并不重要,只要他们享受它就行。当他们分享这些事情时,积极地去倾听—这意味着真的去听,通过眼神交流、微笑、问开放性问题以及提出积极的意见来参与其中。一旦你进入其中,你就会惊讶于这会感觉起来多么的自然。注意到你的参与方式会让他们感觉被关心,从而增加他们的积极性——这感觉很好,是吧?不仅如此,一起谈论这些事也是一种积极的体验,会增强你们的关系。研究表明那些对对方积极消息以这种积极建设性风格做出回应的恋人有着更好的幸福关系,更不容易在2个月之后破裂。
2. Practice Random Acts of Kindness
做随意的善举
This involves doing five kind things in one day and then writing about them. First of all, think of the kind acts that you have been the recipient of. Next, reflect on the kind acts you already do. Now, note five acts you want to do and the day that you will do them. When you have completed your acts of kindness, write down what you did and how they made you feel for an extra boost. Chances are you will want to do it again. Research shows this practise makes us feel happier because it makes us think more highly of ourselves and we become more aware of other positive social interactions, which also increases happiness. Note: Do not do the same act over and over again — it will start to feel less special.
这包括在一天内做五件善举,然后写下它们。首先,想想你所接受的那些善举。接着,反思你已经做的那些善行。现在,写下你想做的五件善举和你想做它们的那天。当你完成了这些善举,写下你所做的,以及它们如何让你有额外的提升。你可能会想再做一次。研究表明,这种练习会使我们感到更快乐,因为这使我们更高度的自我思考,我们变得更加了解其他积极的社会交往,这也增加了幸福感。注意:不要反复做同样的行为—这会让你开始感到不再那么特别。
3. Practice Forgiveness
练习宽恕
We all have hurts and betrayals that we ruminate about at times. Choosing to forgive is a way to release the distress that arises time and time again from the memory of these incidents. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget or even reconcile. Instead, it is about changing your attitude toward the original pain so that it can no longer hurt you.
我们都受过着不时想着的伤害和背叛。选择原谅是一种释放来自这些一遍遍记忆中的痛苦的方式。然而,宽恕并不意味着你必须忘记或去和解。相反,它是关于改变你对原来的痛苦的态度,使它不能再伤害你的事。
To practice forgiveness, you need to commit to your personal healing, recognize your distress is coming from your feelings and thoughts, remind yourself that you can hope for positive things and work hard to get them, decide to make some positive goals to put your energy into, focus on what is good in your life right now, and change the way you think of the past.
要练习宽恕,你需要致力于个人疗愈,认识到你的痛苦来自你的感觉和想法,提醒自己你可以期望积极的事情并努力去实现它们,决定实现一些积极的目标,去投入你的精力,专注于你的生活中好的事情,改变你对过去的想法。
Forgiveness can take some time, but it is worth it. Researchers at the University of Miami found that forgiveness is linked to increased life satisfaction, more positive emotions, less negative emotions, and fewer symptoms of physical illness. The same group of researchers also found that forgiving on one day is linked to higher happiness the very next day.
宽恕可以花些时间,但它值得。迈阿密大学的研究人员发现,宽恕与提高生活满意度、积极情绪、减少消极情绪、减少身体疾病症状相关。这一组研究人员还发现,在一天的宽恕之后下一天会更快乐。
4. Cultivate Optimism
培养乐观态度
For this, try the “best possible self” exercise. Take a moment to imagine your life in the future and make it the best you can possibly imagine. Consider everything: career, relationships, hobbies, health, spirituality, and academia. What would happen in your best future? For fifteen minutes, write about what you imagine and be as creative as you like. Research suggests that building optimism about the future motivates people to work towards their goals. This makes the desired future more likely to become a reality. You are not only increasing your happiness in the present, you are also paving the way for sustained happiness down the line. This exercise also teaches you what you want, helps you to restructure your priorities, and increases your sense of control over your life.
为此,尝试“最好的自我”锻炼。花一刻时间去想象你的未来生活,并想象到最好。考虑一切:事业、人际关系、爱好、健康、精神和学术。你最好的未来会发生什么?十五分钟后,写下你的想象,像你喜欢的一样充满创意。研究表明,建立起对未来的乐观态度会激励人们去为实现他们的目标而努力。这让理想的未来更可能成为现实。你不只是在增加你当前的快乐,你也在为维持幸福铺平了道路。这个练习也教给你你想要什么,有助于你调整你的优先顺序,增加你对生活的控制感。
5. Savour the moment
品味这一刻
Whatever you are doing, be it looking at a sunset, playing with your dog, or eating a piece of chocolate, really be present and appreciate the moment right here and right now. No thinking about anything else. Absorb yourself fully into it and notice what you are seeing or hearing, any sensations such as the breeze on your skin or the feeling of something soft in your hands. Take time to become aware of how you are feeling in this moment. If there is a mood present, what is it? Enjoying the small things in life helps us to build up a beautiful memory bank, and being truly present keeps us content.
无论你做什么,无论是看日落、遛狗或吃一块巧克力,要活在当下,欣赏此刻时光。不要考虑其他任何事情。充分享受这些,注意你所看到或听到的,任何感觉如微风轻抚你的皮肤或感受你手里东西的柔软。花点时间去了解你此刻的感受。如果现在有一种心情,那是什么?享受生活中的小事情能帮助我们建立起美丽的记忆库,而真正活在当下会让我们感到满足。
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