My grandfather died when I was a small boy, and my grandmother started staying with us for about six months every year. She lived in a room that doubled as my father's office, which we referred to as "the back room." She carried with her a powerful aroma. I don‘t know what kind of perfume she used, but it was the double-barreled, ninety-proof, knockdown, render-the-victim-unconscious, moose-killing variety. She kept it in a huge atomizer and applied it frequently and liberally. It was almost impossible to go into her room and remain breathing for any length of time. When she would leave the house to go spend six months with my Aunt Lillian, my mother and sisters would throw open all the windows, strip the bed, and take out the curtains and rugs. Then they would spend several days washing and airing things out, trying frantically to make the pungent odor go away.
This, then, was my grandmother at the time of the infamous pea incident.
It took place at the Biltmore Hotel, which, to my eight-year-old mind, was just about the fancies place to eat in all of Providence. My grandmother, my mother, and I were having lunch after a morning spent shopping. I grandly ordered a salisbury steak, confident in the knowledge that beneath that fancy name was a good old hamburger with gravy. When brought to the table, it was accompanied by a plate of peas. I do not like peas now. I did not like peas then. I have always hated peas. It is a complete mystery to me why anyone would voluntarily eat peas. I did not eat them at home. I did not eat them at restaurants. And I certainly was not about to eat them now. "Eat your peas," my grandmother said.
"Mother," said my mother in her warning voice. "He doesn‘t like peas. Leave him alone."
My grandmother did not reply, but there was a glint in her eye and a grim set to her jaw that signaled she was not going to be thwarted. She leaned in my direction, looked me in the eye, and uttered the fateful words that changed my life: "I'll pay you five dollars if you eat those peas."
I had absolutely no idea of the impending doom. I only knew that five dollars was an enormous, nearly unimaginable amount of money, and as awful as peas were, only one plate of them stood between me and the possession of that five dollars. I began to force the wretched things down my throat.
My mother was livid. My grandmother had that self-satisfied look of someone who has thrown down an unbeatable trump card. "I can do what I want, Ellen, and you can‘t stop me." My mother glared at her mother. She glared at me. No one can glare like my mother. If there were a glaring Olympics, she would undoubtedly win the gold medal.
I, of course, kept shoving peas down my throat. The glares made me nervous, and every single pea made me want to throw up, but the magical image of that five dollars floated before me, and I finally gagged down every last one of them. My grandmother handed me the five dollars with a flourish. My mother continued to glare in silence. And the episode ended. Or so I thought.
My grandmother left for Aunt Lillian's a few weeks later. That night, at dinner, my mother served two of my all-time favorite foods, meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Along with them came a big, steaming bowl of peas. She offered me some peas, and I, in the very last moments of my innocent youth, declined. My mother fixed me with a cold eye as she heaped a huge pile of peas onto my plate. Then came the words that were to haunt me for years.
"You ate them for money," she said. "You can eat them for love."
Oh, despair! Oh, devastation! Now, too late, came the dawning realization that I had unwittingly damned myself to a hell from which there was no escape.
"You ate them for money. You can eat them for love."
What possible argument could I muster against that? There was none. Did I eat the peas? You bet I did. I ate them that day and every other time they were served thereafter. The five dollars were quickly spent. My grandmother passed away a few years later. But the legacy of the peas lived on, as it lives on to this day. If I so much as curl my lip when they are served (because, after all, I still hate the horrid little things), my mother repeats the dreaded words one more time: "You ate them for money," she says. "You can eat them for love."
俄土表示:俄大使遇刺不会妨碍两国关系
国内英语资讯:President Xi congratulates Pakistan on chandelier renewal ceremony at Mazar-e-Quaid
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块5 Unit 3《Science versus nature》
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:3
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:2
【三维设计】2017版(江苏专用)二轮复习练习:选修8 Unit 4《Films and film events》单元检测(含解析)
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习写作增分锦囊课件:6 书面表达常见错误及对策
国内英语资讯:Chinese premier sends condolences to German chancellor over Berlin terror attack
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块7 unit 2《Fit for life》
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:4
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块6 Unit 2《What is happiness to you》
体坛英语资讯:Chinese spiker Zhu gifts Vakifbank 10th straight win in Turkish league
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块6 Unit 4《Helping people around the World》
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块7 unit 3《The World online》
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:10
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:6
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块6 Unit 3《Understanding each other》
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:1
投资移民性价比最高的欧洲国家
国内英语资讯:China urges Mongolia to learn lesson from Dalai Lama visit
体坛英语资讯:Dortmund held 2-2 by Hoffenheim in German Bundesliga
美文赏析:坚强,有时是迫不得已
【三维设计】2017届高考英语(江苏专用)二轮复习阅读理解解题技法示范课件:5
国内英语资讯:Xi stresses clean energy use to reduce smoggy days
西班牙顶级厨师 切个火腿挣4000美元 OMG!
【三维设计】2017版(江苏专用)二轮复习练习:选修8 Unit 3《The world of colours and light》课时跟踪检测A卷(含解析)
川普:欧洲恐袭证实他筛选甄别穆斯林计划正确
2017届高考英语二轮复习大题冲关秘籍语法填空:创新押题(含解析)
淘宝再上美国“恶名市场”榜
2017届江苏省淮安市新马中学高考牛津译林版英语一轮复习活动单:模块8 Unit 3《The world of colours and light》