36个问题让你跟陌生人相爱

The path to true love just got a whole lot smoother.

通往真爱的路现在更平坦了一点。

The key? To ask someone the 36 questions below - and answer them yourself. Doing this, psychologists have claimed, can make absolutely anyone fall in head-over-heels.

关键方法？问某人以下36个问题——同时自己也回答这些问题。心理学家称，这样做，就绝对可以让任何人爱得神魂颠倒。

If it sounds easy; it isn't.

如果说听上去很容易，那么实际上可没那么简单。

The questions begin gently enough: 'Would you like to be famous?'; 'What's your perfect day?'; Or 'When did you last sing to yourself?'

这些问题一开始很温和：“你想成名吗？”“你心中完美的一天是怎样的？”或“你上次自己一个人唱歌是什么时候？”

But they rapidly become more personal.

但是很快，问题就变得更私人。

'Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?' and 'How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?'

“关于自己将如何死去，你有神秘的预感吗？”“你和你母亲的关系怎么样？”

The idea is to foster the atmosphere of mutual vulnerability and intimacy that a romantic relationship thrives on. Albeit by revealing to each other your deepest, darkest thoughts - the sort it usually takes a few months to admit (if ever).

这些问题的主要意图是营造一个相互脆弱和亲密的氛围，以促进恋爱关系的发展，尽管这需要向彼此吐露你们最深的、最黑暗的想法，这些想法你往往需要几个月的时间才会承认（如果承认的话）。

The 36 questions were published in a study by psychologist Arthur Aron called 'The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness'.

这36个问题叫做“人际亲密产生试验”，由心理学家亚瑟·艾伦发表在一份研究中。

He tested the theory that it's possible to make two people fall in love by getting them to share intimate thoughts and memories. To prove this, he persuaded 52 sets of male and female strangers and 19 sets of female strangers to try it. Two of the participants entered a lab via separate doors, before sitting opposite one another and answering his series of ever-more personal and probing questions.

他通过做实验来证明两个人通过分享私人的想法和记忆可以相爱。为了证明这个观点，他说服52对陌生男女和19对陌生女性参与实验。两名参与者由不同的门进入同一间实验室，然后面对面坐着，回答这些越来越私人和深入的问题。

Six months after the experiment? Two of them got married (and they invited the whole lab to the ceremony).

6个月后？两名实验者结婚了（他们邀请了整个实验室的人来参加婚礼）。

Aron's questions, which first appeared in 1997, are experiencing a bounce in popularity following an article in the New York Times by university professor Mandy Len Catron. She tried the experiement with an acquaintance.

艾伦的问题最早出现于1997年。大学教授曼迪·莱·凯特伦（Mandy Len Catron）和一名陌生人尝试了这个实验，并在《纽约时报》刊文讨论，随后这个系列问题走红。

The result? (Spoiler alert klaxon). They fell in love, of course.

实验结果？（剧透警告）他们相爱了，当然的。

The last, terrifying, element of Aron's experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.

艾伦的试验最后一件吓人的事是，两名实验者要互相凝视对方的眼睛四分钟。

Catron describes it thus: "I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life".

凯特伦对此是这样描述的：“我爬过陡坡，挂过崖壁，但是，无声地盯着一个人的眼睛看四分钟是我这辈子最惊悚最吓人的经历之一。”

Fancy giving it a try? We're reprinted the original questions below.

想试试吗？我们将原始问题刊在了下面。

So grab your potential love interest - or any willing particpant (that's half the battle, says Catron, just trying the experiment signals that you're open to falling in love) and get questioning.

所以，找来你的意中人——或者随便哪个愿意的人（这就是成功的一半了，凯特伦说，仅仅参与这个实验就意味着你愿意坠入爱河）来回答问题吧。

You never know what might happen.

你永远不知道未来会发生什么。

The 36 questions which can make you 'fall in love with anyone':

36个能让你“坠入爱河”的问题在这儿：

Set One

第一部分

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

1. 给你一个任意的机会，你会选择和谁共进晚餐？

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

2. 你想要成名吗？以什么方式？

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

3. 打电话前，你会事先排演吗？为什么？

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

4. 你心中一个完美的日子是怎样的？

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

5. 你上次唱歌对着自己唱歌是什么时候？对着别人呢？

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

6. 如果你可以活到90岁，而且30岁以后身心都保持在不再变老，那这60年你想要怎么度过？

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

7. 关于怎么死去，你有没有过神秘的预感？

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

8. 举出你和你对面这位的3个共同点。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

9. 你人生中最感激的是什么？

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

10. 如果可以改变你的成长过程，你想要改变什么？

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

11. 你只有4分钟时间，但请在这4分钟内尽量详细地对你的搭档讲述你的人生故事。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

12. 如果你明天醒来时能得到一种新的能力或品质，你想要的是什么？

Set Two

第二部分

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

13. 如果水晶球可以告诉你关于你自己、你的未来、你的人生等等一切事情，你想要知道什么？

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

14. 有没有什么是你梦寐以求的？但为什么没有做？

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

15. 你人生中最大的成就是什么？

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

16. 友谊中你最珍视的是什么？

17. What is your most treasured memory?

17. 你最珍贵的回忆是什么？

18. What is your most terrible memory?

18. 你最糟糕的记忆是什么？

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

19. 如果你知道你只有一年可以活了，你会改变你的生活方式吗？为什么？

20. What does friendship mean to you?

20. 对于你，友谊意味着什么？

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

21. 爱与喜欢在你的人生中分别扮演什么角色？

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

22. 轮流分享你认为恋人应该具有的好品质，总共分享5个。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

23. 你的家庭亲密、温暖吗？你觉得你的童年是不是比其他人更幸福一些？

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

24. 你与母亲的关系怎样？

Set Three

第三部分

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

25. 用“我们”做主语造3个肯定句。比如“我们都在这间屋子里……”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

26. 补全这个句子：“我希望有人可以与我分享……”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

27. 如果你要和对面那位成为好朋友，他或者她最应该知道的事情是什么？请与他或者她分享。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

28. 告诉你对面那位，你喜欢他（她）什么？必须非常诚实，说一些你可能不会和第一次见面的人说的话。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

29. 分享一件你人生中的囧事。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

30. 你上一次当着他人的面哭是什么时候？还是独自一人呢？

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

31. 告诉对面那位，你已经开始喜欢他身上的一些东西。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

32. 有什么事情是不能随便开玩笑的？

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

33. 如果你今夜就会死去，而且没有机会和任何人说，你最遗憾的没有说出口的话是？为什么你还没有告诉他们？

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

34. 你的家着火了，而且你所有的东西都在里面。在救出你的爱人和宠物以后，你还有机会安全救出一样东西。你会救什么？为什么？

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

35. 你的家庭中谁死去会最让你困扰？为什么？

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

36. 分享一个你的私人困扰，并向你对面那位请求解决建议，请他（她）以自己的方式来解决。然后，再询问他（她）对于这个问题的个人感受。

Vocabulary

head-over-heels: 完全地

hunch: 预感

vulnerability: 脆弱性

rehearse: 彩排

constitute: 构成

dash: 猛冲