It's the dilemma that haunts every British homeowner: how safe are my children from a zombie apocalypse? A Leeds merchant has finally answered public concerns by making a undead-proof shed - which will set you back a mere £69,995, plus £20,780 for installation, CCTV, riot gear and solar panels.
英国房主一直有个难题:一旦真的有僵尸来袭如何让孩子免受伤害?面对公众的担心英国利兹市的一个商人制作了一个防僵尸小屋。69995英镑,加上安装CCTV、防爆装置和太阳电池板所需的20780英镑,你就能拥有它。
The so-called Zombie Fortification Cabin also has an escape hatch, an interior garden, weapons storage and a 360-degree vantage point, all with a ten-year anti-zombie guarantee. A flamethrower or water cannon, however, will cost you extra.
这个所谓的僵尸防御木屋设有一个逃生口、一个内部菜园、一间武器存储室和360度视角火力点,而且可以有抵御僵尸侵袭的10年质保。要是多花点钱还能配备火焰喷射器和水炮。
Designed just in time for Halloween, the shed - ZFC1 for short - has not yet had any buyers, but that hasn't stopped it attracting a wide range of reviews on its manufacturer's website.One, Shaun of the Dead, called it the 'Winchester of Log Cabins' adding: 'In my time I’ve had little respect as an electronics shop employee, with no real direction in life. But when I bought this Zombie proof log cabin I became the envy of all my neighbors!
这间简称ZFC1小木屋是特意为万圣节设计的。起先没有一个买主,但并没有妨碍它吸引大众浏览其制作者的网页。一个自称“僵尸肖恩”的人称其为“温彻斯特小木屋”,他说“当我还是一家电器小店雇员时我得不到人们的尊重也找不到生活的方向。但当我买下这间僵尸防御木屋后我成了所有邻居羡慕的对象!”
It’s big enough for me as well as my girlfriend and rather vulgar unemployed best friend (who could quite easily be mistaken for a zombie!). With this, any potential zombie apocalypse which could overwhelm the town, I'll have a nice cup of tea and wait for it all to blow over. Not everyone was happy, however. A disgruntled Roger Rotter the Zombie wrote: 'I officially HATE this zombie proof log cabin!!
这木屋足够大能让我和我的女朋友以及我那粗鲁的无业好友一起居住,他的样貌在别人看了就是个“僵尸”。不管怎么说有了这间令小镇惊叹的木屋,哪怕真的有僵尸来袭,只需美美地喝上一杯热茶等待一切平息就可以了。但并不是虽有人都对此满意,一位自称为“无赖罗杰”的“僵尸”写道“我郑重表态我恨死这间僵尸防御木屋了!”
Having roamed our way through the land mines, in just about one piece, a cluster of us avoided the flamethrowers and made it to the walls. No matter what we tried (eating through the walls, climbing to the roof etc) we just couldn't break in. 'Unfortunately, as time wore on it became obvious this was a lost cause and some 28 days later we gave up.
“在我们通行的道路上布满了地雷,为了阻止我们入侵在一面墙上还安装了一排火焰喷射器。无论怎么努力(比如咬着墙壁朝屋顶爬),我们都没办法破门而入。无奈随着时间的流逝我们注定无法入侵成功,大约28天后我们放弃了。”
The bizarre idea was dreamed up by Leeds firm Tiger Log Cabins, and although there haven't yet been any sales, there have been some allegedly serious enquiries from across the Atlantic.
因为受到利兹市拍摄的一部名为“老虎的木屋”的电影启发才产生了这一奇特的想法。虽然到现在还没售出一间,但据说有许多大西洋对岸国家的消费者向制造者询问过小木屋的情况。
Managing director Ross Moran, 29, told MailOnline: 'We've had a few people from America interested who are taking it a bit literally. They're thinking about having it on their ranch.'He added: 'Obviously it's a bit of a joke but the cabin is buildable. So if we get someone who's genuinely interested and has the money we would keep to our word and go and build it for them.'
29岁的总经理罗斯•莫兰对每日邮说:“我们收到一些美国人的信息,表示对木屋有兴趣。他们打算把它建在大农场里。”他还补充道:“的确,建一间抵御僵尸的木屋的确是个逗趣的举动但也有一定的必要。如果真的有人表示感兴趣并交付费用我们一定信守诺言登门为他们修建僵尸防御小木屋。”
The idea for the cabin came after a conversation in the office about what would happen in a zombie apocalypse. Marketing director Jack Sutcliffe said: 'The conversation went from there and one of the team jokingly suggested that we would all be OK because we could just build ourselves a special log cabin and all hide in there. From there the idea was born and we thought "well, why not".
修建小木屋的发起者们曾在办公室里谈论过一旦僵尸来袭会发生什么,随后就有人提出了修建小木屋的想法。市场总监杰克•撒克里夫说:“我们谈论到这,其中一人便开玩笑地说道我们都不会有,事因为我们可以给自己建个特殊的小木屋然后躲进去。这个想法就这样诞生了,我们想了想觉得好啊,为什么不呢?”
There is one hitch, however: planning permission. Mr Moran conceded: 'We'd have to say what we tell all our customers - check with your local authority because they all have different rules, even when it comes to preventing a deadly swarm of the undead'.
但有一个问题就是有关建造许可的问题。莫兰先生承认:“我们不得不要提醒所有消费者,要询问当地相关权威机构,因为城市不同管理规章也有所不同,就算在抵御僵尸疯狂来袭方面也有所不同。”
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