电影教你如何养孩子

1. 电影《欢乐满人间》（Mary Poppins）

It is 50 years since Mary Poppins appeared on cinema screens. The film presented a very particular view of middle-class family life, but have movies influenced how people think about parenting?

Mary Poppins taught parents many things. Bedrooms are better tidied, every chore has its fun side and an organised day is a happy day. Poppins's strict-but-saccharine manner brought the unruly Jane and Michael Banks under control - she succeeded where their parents and numerous lesser nannies could not.

Though decades old, Poppins's techniques are still lauded by parents.

Childcare blogger Kenney Myers describes her as "the gold standard", while parenting expert Michael Grose says there are some key parenting lessons to learn from Poppins.

The relationship between parents and children, or nannies and children, is one often explored in films. It can result in a strange osmosis for viewers.

"The things we can learn from Mary Poppins is how important boundaries are, and the role that they play in raising children," says Bernie Wooder, a psychoanalyst who uses "film therapy" as part of his treatment technique.

"When she comes along she brings organisation and it appears to look like magic because everything starts to go right. It's an effective lesson."

电影《欢乐满人间》（Mary Poppins）已问世50年。这部电影以一个独特视角向人们展示了中等家庭的生活，但电影真的对养育孩子有影响吗？

《欢乐满人间》告诉父母很多道理。房间最好收拾整洁，家务活也可以很快乐，有计划能过好每一天。

任性的简和迈克尔•班克斯在软硬兼施的氛围中成长并最终获得成功，而那些在父母或保姆庇佑下的人则不会。

尽管已过去数十年，玛丽阿姨（Poppins）的管理方法也为父母所称赞。

育儿博主肯尼•迈尔斯（Kenney Myers）将她描述为“金本位”，而且育儿专家迈克尔•格罗斯称可以从玛丽阿姨身上学到很多育儿经验。

电影的主题经常围绕父母与孩子、保姆与孩子的关系。对观众来说这会有潜移默化的作用。

精神分析学家伯尼•伍德（Bernie Wooder）把“电影疗法”作为其治疗技术的一部分，他提到：“我们可以从玛丽•波平斯（Mary Poppins）身上学到父母与孩子间界限的重要性，而且它们在抚养孩子过程中所扮演着重要角色。”

“当她出现时，一切都变得秩序井然，魔法一般所有事情都很顺利。这是一堂有效课程。”

2. 电影《窈窕奶爸》（Mrs Doubtfire）

Wooder adds that he prescribed the viewing of the Robin Williams film Mrs Doubtfire for one father.

The film sees Williams play Daniel Hillard, a dad who loses custody of his children following a divorce. In his desperation to see them, he ends up dressing up as a woman, complete with a false nose and twin sets, and putting on a Scottish accent to win the job as their nanny.

"That film really helped one of my clients because it expressed the level of frustration that he was feeling - that he was prepared to do anything at all to spend time with his kids," adds Wooder. Using a disguise to bypass custody arrangements is obviously inadvisable in the real world but the film offers a lesson about closeness.

"Films are a remarkable tool for helping people learn, it's about recognising a feeling or an atmosphere and taking some time to just sit, watch and consider it."

Williams's soft-spoken nanny is one of a number of film characters that explore the relationship between fathers and their children.

伍德还说他向每一位父亲推荐观看罗宾•威廉姆斯（Robin Williams）出演的《窈窕奶爸》（Mrs Doubtfire）这部电影。

在这部影片中，威廉姆斯饰演丹尼尔•希拉德，这是一位离婚后失去孩子监护权的父亲。他不顾一切的希望见到他们，最终他带着一副假鼻子，身着女士上衣，操着一口苏格兰口音，装扮成女人而成为他们的保姆。

伍德还说道：“这部电影的确曾帮助过我的一位顾客，因为其中道出他正面临的挫折，而且为了能与孩子在一起他愿意付出任何代价。”

“电影是帮助人们学习的绝佳工具，这是在识别一种感觉或氛围，花一些时间静静坐下来欣赏一部电影并有所思考。”

威廉姆斯饰演的那位轻声细语的保姆是众多展现父亲与孩子关系的角色之一。

3. 电影《海底总动员》（Finding Nemo）

For parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith, it is Disney's Finding Nemo that presents the best lessons. "It's a great example of a single parent family, or more specifically a single father raising his son alone from birth - something you see rarely in films," she says.

"At the beginning Nemo's father is what we call a 'helicopter parent' - always fussing over the child and never letting him have any freedom. I think the film shows this style of parenting is not great and still not a guarantee of accidents not happening.

"The film [goes on to] show how confident Nemo is, which is a reflection of great parenting."

对育儿专家萨拉•O•史密斯（Sarah Ockwell-Smith）而言，迪斯尼公司出品的《海底总动员》很值得学习。她说：“这是单亲家庭的最好案例，更明确地说，讲述的是父亲一人独自抚养儿子成长的故事，这很少能在电影中见到。”

“故事一开始，尼莫（Nemo）的父亲，即所谓的‘直升机父母’，过分关注孩子生活、不给予他有任何自由。我认为这部电影在向我们道明这种类型的父母并不好，也并非能未雨绸缪。”

“这部电影展示出尼莫的信心，这反映出家长好的教育方式。”

4. 有关保姆的电影

Mrs Doubtfire, The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins aren't the only films to draw on the transformative role a nanny can play in children's lives:

Mr Nanny (1993)- Hulk Hogan acts as bodyguard-cum-nanny to two mischievous brats who have no discipline due to their often distracted and absent widower father. Includes villains seeking a microchip.

The Pacifier (2005) - Continuing the theme of hard man-cum-nanny, Vin Diesel (pictured) looks after five antagonistic kids whose father has died. Gruff exteriors transformed on both sides. Includes villains seeking microchip-like technology.

Nanny McPhee (2005) - Emma Thompson's Nanny McPhee swoops in to help a widower handle his seven unruly children. With magic and discipline she transforms their lives, changing herself in the process.

Jack and Sarah (1995) - Richard E Grant's Jack is a widower, after his partner dies in childbirth. Grief-stricken, he goes off the rails, until he eventually faces his parental duties with help from nanny Amy.

The Nanny Diaries (2007) - Shock. No widow or widower. Scarlett Johansson is a nanny for a rich family in which the son is neglected. Despite getting fired, she transforms the lives of the child and wife.

并非仅有《窈窕奶爸》《音乐之声》《欢乐满人间》讲述保姆在孩子生活中所扮演的重要角色：

《保姆先生》（Mr Nanny）（1993年）：霍克•霍肯（Hulk Hogan）在剧中扮演两位淘气顽童的保镖兼保姆，他们的单亲父亲经常心烦意乱并且常常不在孩子身边，所以孩子变得很没规矩。其中包括饰演坏人盗取电脑微芯片。

《神勇奶爸》（The Pacifier）（2005年）：这部电影的主题还是有关既当爸又当保姆的男人，范•迪塞尔（Vin Diesel）负责照顾五个父亲去世的调皮孩子，慢慢地，双方的隔阂便消除了。其中的剧情包括饰演坏人寻找微芯片技术。

《魔法保姆麦克菲》Nanny McPhee (2005) ：埃玛•汤普森（Emma Thompson）出演《魔法保姆麦克菲》，在其中帮助一位鳏夫照料7位不守规矩的孩子。她用魔法和惩罚改变他们的生活，同时在这个过程中也改变了自己。

《亲亲俏奶妈》（Jack and Sarah）(1995)：理查德•格兰特（Richard E Grant）饰演杰克，其妻子在分娩时去世，极度悲伤的他曾出轨，最终在保姆艾米的帮助下认识到做父亲的责任。

《保姆日记》（The Nanny Diaries）(2007)：刚看到时很震惊，没有寡妇也没有鳏夫。斯嘉丽•约翰逊在其中扮演一名富裕家庭的保姆，这个家中的儿子一直被忽视。尽管最后被辞退，但她改变了孩子和妻子的生活。

5. 关于大家庭的电影

Very large families are a popular feature in films. Often chaotic, they are a vehicle for showing stressed, less-than-perfect parents. In Home Alone, Macaulay Culkin's character Kevin was famously forgotten by his family - left behind when they went on their Christmas holiday.

Cheaper By The Dozen sees parents battle with constant untidiness caused by their many children. "Lots of movies show the extreme, it's either the perfect family or the completely dysfunctional ones," says Helen O'Hara, deputy online editor of Empire magazine.

"In Cheaper By The Dozen they actually have a pretty perfect life, they have to deal with some messiness but their family is solid, the marriage is solid and they live in a gorgeous house.

"The film Parenthood in the '90s showed something a bit more. There were more varieties of parenting on display in that film, and they are dealing with interesting issues."

Parenthood followed the varying dilemmas faced by an extended family. There is the single mother dealing with her difficult teenage children, a father desperately trying to push his daughter into being a child genius, and the exuberant dad, played by Steve Martin, who lives chaotically with his growing family, making balloon animals and always taking things too far.

O'Hara adds: "There's a moment where Steve Martin's character is dealing with his son who is in a fast food restaurant and he took his retainer brace out to eat his burger and ended up losing it. He ends up having to search through the bins.

"It's ridiculous really, but there's a certain sangfroid in knowing the you aren't going to be any of those parents in the film - you're not going to make those mistakes."

在电影中大家庭是很受欢迎的元素，他们经常吵闹，是展现不够完美父母的载体。在电影《小鬼当家》（Home Alone）中，麦考利•库尔金（Macaulay Culkin）所饰演的凯文经常被父母遗忘，当他们外出过圣诞节时把凯文自己留在了家里。

《儿女一箩筐》（Cheaper By The Dozen）的主要剧情是父母一直在与众多孩子造成的不整洁作斗争。《帝国杂志》网站副主编海伦•奥哈拉（Helen O'Hara）称：“很多电影都在讲述一些极端情况，要么是完美的家庭，要么是完全不正常的家庭。”

“在《儿女一箩筐》中，事实上一家人有完美的生活，他们必须要处理一些混乱，但他们的家庭和婚姻是很稳固的，而且他们住在一个富丽堂皇的大房子里。”

“20世纪90年代的电影《为人父母》（Parenthood）向我们展示更多道理，在这部电影中，展出更多不同的育儿方法，而且处理的也是一些有趣问题。”

《为人父母》讲述了很多大家庭需面临的不同困境。其中，单亲母亲需要照顾正处于青春期的孩子；父亲逼迫女儿成为天才儿童；史蒂夫•马丁（Steve Martin）饰演一位过于溺爱孩子的父亲，会用气球做动物、而且经常把事情考虑的很远。

奥哈拉还称：“电影中有个情节讲述的是史蒂夫•马丁饰演的角色与其儿子在快餐店里发生的事，儿子把牙套拿下来吃汉堡，却把它弄丢了，最后他们不得不翻箱倒柜地寻找。”

“这真的很可笑，但只有当人们确保自己不会成为电影中那般父母时，才会如此冷静，希望大家不会犯同样的错误。”