揭秘职业教练：10项鲜为人知的引导技能

When have you done something that changed your life? Maybe a class you took. Maybe practicing something. Maybe working with a mentor.

你，什么时候做过改变自己人生的事？或许是你修过的一门课，或许是练习某项技能，或许是和一位导师一起工作。

It happened to me studying to become a professional coach. The work had an immense and positive impact on my entire life; changing how I see and live in the world. The tools and methodology enabled me to become an expert at the coaching process. But, even more important I learned this: Coaching is not just training. It is a way to live your life.

对我而言，答案是成为职业顾问。这项工作对我的整个人生有了深刻积极的影响，改变了我的人生观和生活方式。学到的工具和方法论使我精于教练过程的专家。但是，更重要的是，我学到了这点：教练不只是训练，更是一种生活方式。

What I now teach, I strive to live; to be the same person coaching as I am when I'm not. It's "walking the walk... talking the talk." Integrity. Wholeness. Authenticity.

现在我所教的，都亲身实践；如果我还没做到，就会努力成为自己教别人要去成为的那个人。常言道“做归做…说归说”。要做一个正直，全面，真实的人。

1. Hold the client's agenda

尊重客户的议程

Coaches assist you to get what you want. We always focus on your choices. We never decide what is best for a client.

教练帮助你得到你想要的。我们总是把客户的选择项放在首要，而不是替客户决定什么是最好的选择。

Who you are and what you want is your agenda. You have goals, hopes, dreams and intentions, and it's our job to help you meet them. We honor your values and assist you to be true to them.

你是谁，想要什么？这就是你作为客户的议程。你有目标，希望，梦想和意图，而我们的工作就是帮助你实现这些。我们尊重你的价值，并帮你实现它们。

Having an open mind, being non-judgmental is critical in coaching.

有开放的心态，不主观评判，在职业教练这行是非常重要的。

2. Detached involvement

能够超然事外

Detaching has purpose, because even while you're intensely involved and empathetic with your clients life and questions, you remain totally open and objective.

这种超然事外是有目的的。这样一来，即使当你站在客户的角度，设身处地去思考他们的生活和问题时，你仍然能完全开放和客观地看待。

Empathy allows you to connect emotionally with people. It's not sympathy, where you feel sorry for someone, instead you feel with them.

设身处地为客户着想，将你和他人于情感上连接起来。这不是为某人惋惜的同情之心，而是和他人一起感受他们的感觉。

3. Three levels of listening

三个层次的倾听

Listening takes practice. It's at the center of all the transformations that take place in coaching.

倾听是需要练习的。这是教练过程中所有转变的核心。

a. Subjective everyday listening, where you relate what is being said only to yourself.

a. 主观倾听是我们每日在做的。这种情况下，你只听到别人对你讲的内容。

b. Objective listening is deeper, with more focus on the other person.

b. 客观倾听则更深层次，更多的焦点放在他人身上。

c. Intuitive listening is the deepest, where you get to the heart of another person, using all your senses and instincts. It's the most valuable and powerful form of listening because it enables a trained coach to connect with you.

c. 直觉倾听是最深层次的。这时，你用所有的感官和直觉，深触他人内心。这是最有价值、最具力量的倾听形式，因为职业教练可以和你在情感上接轨。

Listening is a simple act and when you trust your intuition, you'll hear -- the tones, silences and energy levels of that person.

倾听是很简单的动作。当你相信直觉的时候，你会听到另外一个人话语中的——语气、沉默、和能量。

4. Get rid of judgment

去掉你个人的判断

In classes, it seemed we worked with every life situation there is. Coaching couples, individuals, anger, joy, your inner critic, building confidence, questions of age, family, children, grief, work, religion, love, sex, money, business and the unknown.

在课堂上，我们看似处理过每种可能的生活情境。教导夫妻、个人、愤怒、欣喜、内心的批判、建立自信和关于年龄、家庭、孩子、悲伤、工作、宗教、爱、性、金钱、商业和其他所有未知的问题。

It wasn't just practice, but an awakening to the urgent obligation we each have never to judge another human being. Never to see their choices as good/bad, right/wrong. Not to be biased, prejudiced or opinionated on how someone else lives their life.

那不只是练习，而是唤醒那种急需的义务——我们绝不能评判他人。不能评判他们的选择是好/坏，对/错。不能对他人怎样生活存有偏见、成见或观点。

This is what I mean when I say -- coaching is not just training, it's a way of life.

这就是我之前所讲的——教练不只是训练，更是一种生活方式。

5. Breaking up blocks

找到内在的阻力

When Tim Miller (name changed) started coaching, he was a successful CPA, out of work, and not sure what he wanted to do. He described himself as, " ...a financial failure, never amounting to much, lazy, an underachiever."Immediately we talked about his heckler or "gremlin," his inner voice that said: "Tim, you'll always be a failure."

当蒂姆·米勒（化名）开始接受培训时，他曾是个成功的注册会计师，工作之外，却不清楚自己想做什么。他自我描述“…经济上一塌糊涂，从没存过多少钱，很懒，差人一等。”之后我们马上谈到了他的负能量小人，在他内心呼喊“蒂姆，你会一直失败下去”的声音。

Coaching blocks is one of the important tools used to help a client get unstuck, to see what limits their potential, undermining confidence and progress.

寻找内在的阻力，是帮助客户指点迷津最重要的方法之一。如此，客户可以看到什么在限制他们的潜力、阻挡他们的自信和进步。

Naming your "gremlin" helps take its power away.

找出你内在的负能量小人吧！

6. Two different desires

两种不同的欲望

Tim saw two forces working in him. One was catabolic -- negative, destructive and self-defeating.

The other was anabolic -- positive, constructive, empowering.

蒂姆看到了自己内在的两股力量。一股是阻碍的——负面的，破坏性的，自我挫败的；另一股是促进的——正面的，建设性的，赋予力量的。

This is Tim's true self, who he is at his best -- confident, innovative, happy, hardworking and successful.

蒂姆最好的状态，才是真正的自己——自信、创新、快乐、刻苦且成功。

When you make conscious choices to be positive, you shift out of the low, negative energy of being a "poor me" victim -- to higher, more powerful levels of energy such as responsibility, concern, creativity and acceptance.

当你有意识地积极起来时，你就走出了“可怜的我“的负能量区——到达了有力的高能量区，那儿有负责、关心、创新和接纳等优秀品质 。

7. Keep challenging yourself


不断挑战自己

Tim had spent seven days soul searching this question: What do you want to do? He had his answer. Tim wanted to run his own business -- creating training videos for professional massage therapists.

蒂姆曾花了七天时间来深究自己的灵魂：你想要做什么？他找到了答案。他想要自己做生意——为职业按摩师做培训录像。

It was thrilling to hear his confidence, high energy, creative plans, commitment and joy. All of his past experience with photography, massage therapy, sales and business acumen fit in perfectly.

听到他言语中的自信、正能量、创新计划、承诺和欣喜，我非常激动。所有他过去的经历，摄影、按摩疗法、销售和商业敏锐性，都完美地结合在他新的规划中。

Coaching challenged Tim to find an answer and, it was the complete opposite of failure mode.

职业教练让蒂姆挑战自我找到了答案。这是失败完完全全的反面。

8. Coaches don't give advice

职业教练不给忠告

We don't tell people what to do. We help people take action. Tim did just that, drafting a two page, detailed business plan: Executive Summary; Business Description; The Market and Competition; Products and Services; Management and Personnel; Investment.

我们不告诉人们去做什么。我们帮助他们采取行动。蒂姆正是这样做的，他草拟了一份两页纸的详细商业计划：执行纲要、商业描述、市场竞争、产品和服务、管理和人员配置、投资。

Michael: "If you're 100-percent clear on your purpose in opening this business, what does it do for you?"

麦克：“如果你百分百确定自己做这个生意的目标，那么它能为你做什么？”

Tim: "I have focus, energy, direction. Purpose makes me strong and happy."

蒂姆：“我很专注，有精力，有方向。目标让我强大，让我幸福。”

9. Dreams are real plans for success

梦想是真正的成功计划

By our fourth and final coaching session, Tim had done a tremendous amount of work. He named his company, produced his first product and made money.

到我们的第四次和最后培训阶段时，蒂姆已经做了大量工作。他给公司起了名，做出了第一代产品，收获了利润。

Tim: "Well, it's not a lot of money."

蒂姆：“赚的钱并不多。”

Michael: "Sure there's more to do, but why not celebrate your success instead of complaining?"

麦克：“当然有更多事情要做。不过，与其抱怨，为什么不去庆祝你的成功呢？”

He told me, "I'm good! I'm not quitting. I have vision and I'm optimistic."

他告诉我，“我很棒！我不要放弃。我有梦想，也很乐观。”

10. Stretch yourself. Do more than you thought you could do

尽最大努力，超出自己想象的极限

Coaching is valuable, life increasing process. It promotes vision and purpose, builds happiness and success, enabling you to meet your dreams and potential.

职业引导是极具价值且让生命更充实的过程。它提升梦想和目标，建立幸福和成功，让你接近梦想和潜力。

I stretched myself all over the place in coaching school. Learning new things that met and strengthened my core values -- how to be properly detached and vitally present, breaking through blocks and limiting beliefs, listening and not judging and trusting my intuition.

在培训学校的时候，我在很多方面都尽了自己最大的努力。学到了匹配和强化我核心价值观的新东西——怎样合适地超然事外而又充满存在感，冲破阻碍和限制性的想法，倾听但不主观判断，同时相信自己的直觉。

In a profound and completely surprising way, I discovered who I truly am -- a person who is passionate for helping people live magnificent lives and careers. Not mediocre. Not a bit above average. Not just better or okay. But an extraordinary life, full of rich diversity, honest feeling and clear purpose.

以一种深刻却又完全出乎意料的方式，我找到了真实的自己——一个对帮助他人实现宏伟生活和事业蓝图充满激情的人。不要平庸，超过平均标准不止一点点，不只是好些或者还行。我要非凡的人生，充满丰富的多样性，诚实的感觉和清晰的目标。