男人不能对女人的哪些方面评头论足?如果你要说一个女生变胖了,那一定会得罪她。这还不算最糟糕的。有一次,我在称赞一个女孩衣服漂亮之后,接着说了句“看起来没花太多钱,本来想夸她,结果把她弄哭了。看来想讨好女人,这学问可大着呢。
Some work friends and I were recently discussing things that men can not criticize their girlfriends about. It wasastounding令人震惊的how incorrect us guys were when trying tolay out展示,安排our "rights" in terms of constructive criticism. The women in the office wereappalled at被……吓坏what we thought we were allowed to talk about. If I could figure out what I am allowed to criticize and what I shouldstay away from躲避, I'd avoid arguments and do a better job ofhitting on偶然发现,突然想到girls.
I'm guilty of saying things to women that only their best girlfriends, gay male friends, and moms/sisters are allowed to say. I put together a list below:
Weight
There is no friendly way for a guy to tell a girl that she's put on weight. Even if there was a friendly way, most of the women I've talked to about it said they would not want to hear it from a guy. It seems obvious, but not all guys know this. We polled some of the guys in our office, and theprevailing一般的,普遍的male opinion was as long as she's your girlfriend, or you've known each other for a while, then you can make weight loss suggestions. I think the best policy is silence. If I'm desperate to make a suggestion, maybe I tell one of her girlfriends to do it on my behalf.
Outfit
I think I'm only allowed to say someone generally looks nice, or I like her shirt or whatever. Getting too detailed or negative gets me in trouble. In fact, I attempted to "add on" to acompliment恭维I gave a girl once. I told her she looked great, because she had a newoutfit装备,用具on. Now, remembering those times I saw my sisters or friends bark back "thanks, and just $30 from Target," I tried to double up on my compliment: "and it looks like you didn't pay much money either." She ended up crying. I've been told by women that they dress more to impress other women anyway, and not guys. Basically, I need to stick to "you look great" and leave it there. And I should probably avoid saying I don't like something a girl is wearing. That can only lead to no good.
Friends/Family
We've all dated people with annoying friends. But, people consider their friends as extensions of themselves so if you criticize friends, you're criticizing your significant other indirectly. My older sister has a good system of putting the word "that" in front of any of her husband's friends that annoy her. "Oh you're going with that Mike to the concert?" It's not an aggressive attack, just a littlepoke戳,刺. Family is the same rule, but you probably get in even more trouble if you criticize the family of a significant other.
Driving
Every guy thinks he's a better driver than his girlfriend. I can learn a lot from my little sister's boyfriend. One day, my sister was driving the two of us to Baltimore for a weekend. My sister is a really bad driver. She doesn't brake when she sees brake lights ahead until she absolutely has to. This leads to passengerwhiplash鞭绳andnausea恶心,晕船. During this trip I said: "you know, you can brake earlier- that way you're notslamming砰得关上on the brakes at the last minute and making us all sick." She said: "do I do that?" I turned around to her boyfriend for confirmation and he simply said: "no comment". My sister's boyfriend loves me because I am allowed toverbalize累赘,唠叨all the criticisms that he's thinking.
I like the "no comment" policy. But I can't stand not to give my opinion to women, even when it's bad. I want to learn the things I should hold off from criticizing about women. Do you agree with the items above? What do you hate being criticized about by guys?
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下一篇: 学习是自己的责任
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