20多岁人生很迷茫？10大信号你遇到了青年危机

1. You’ve been daydreaming about doing something crazy.

一直在做不切实际的白日梦。

You don’t know what you want, and you’re either stuck in a job you hate or still figuring out what you want to do with your life. Should you move to Europe? Join the Peace Corps? The military? Go to grad school? Sell your belongings and take up residence in an ashram? Suddenly, all of these are sounding better than treading water where you are.

你还不知道自己想要什么，要么陷在一份讨厌的工作上，要么还在彷徨这辈子该干什么。是移居欧洲吗？抑或加入和平部队？还是参军、读研、变卖家当去隐居？反正，不管是什么都比搁浅在这里好。

2. …but you feel paralyzed by indecision.

犹豫不决、优柔寡断。

Though you might have freedom to go or do anything, you’d almost prefer the problems of a quarter-Life crisis — i.e., too much predictability or instability — to the weird flux of your twenties. You’re scared that if you pick something, it won’t bring you that fulfillment you’re looking for — and then you’ll be right back where you started.

虽然你有自由去做任何事，但却被各种青年危机问题困扰——二十几岁这段躁动岁月，充斥太多预料和不安。你害怕一旦动真格，一切变得事与愿违，然后你又得重新开始。

3. You feel increasingly nostalgic for your high school and college days.

越来越怀念高中和大学时光。

Remember when life was simple? You feel stuck between your childhood and your adulthood, and you long for a time when your hardest decision was what to wear to prom. (At least, that’s the way your brain is filtering your teen years now, thanks to those ever-rosy nostalgia glasses.)

还记得那段单纯时光吗？童年不再、社会未入的那段日子，整天只为舞会穿什么而烦恼。（至少，因为念旧，现在你心里的青春岁月就是如此。）

4. The idea of making a budget terrifies you.

对经济预算避之不及。

Not thinking about how much you’re spending on Chipotle and gin and tonics might not be smart, but avoiding your money issues definitely eases the existential pain a bit. (At least until your Visa bill arrives in your inbox.)

虽然不去想自己为那些美味佳肴等等到底买了多少单有些说不过去，但对理财问题避而不谈确实能暂时忘却烦恼（直到某天收到信用卡账单吧）。

5. You’re starting to think of your dating life differently.

开始对恋爱生活另有想法。

Maybe you’re not quite ready to take ALL hookups off the table, but if you’re single, you might be feeling increasingly unfulfilled by dates or encounters that lead to nothing. If you’re in a relationship, you might be questioning if you really want to be with this person long-term — and maybe even debating whether it’s too late to find someone else.

尽管还不至于完全放弃约会，但单身的你却开始对只恋爱无结果的关系厌倦了；要是你正在谈恋爱，可能也在考虑自己是不是想跟对方一直走下去，甚至有所纠结：现在换人会不会太迟了呢？

6. You have a sudden, intense fear of failure.

突然非常害怕失败。

You’re already a little far from college, where one can take new classes, switch majors, and try new things with relative impunity. Now you’re panicked that failing at one thing means you’ll continue failing and fuck up your life in some irretrievable way.

你已经毕业好几年，再也没有机会上新课、调专业或不付代价尝试新鲜事物了。现在，你害怕一步迈错，接下来会步步出错，人生就这么玩完了。

7. You’re bored with your friends

对朋友感到厌倦。

Going out clubbing seems less and less appealing, and you feel increasingly alienated from your college buddies and the activities you used to do back in school. You no longer feel shame about spending a night in by yourself; in fact, you might even start to prefer it.

去俱乐部越来越没意思，跟大学好友渐渐疏远，那些以前读书时喜欢参加的活动也懒得去。你不再害怕一个人打发晚上时光，甚至还很享受。

8. You constantly compare yourself to your friends who are your age…

不断拿自己跟同龄朋友作比较。

Everyone’s married already! AHHHH

啊！！！！！全都结婚了！

9. …or your parents when THEY were your age.

或想到了父母在你这个年纪时……

They had kids (you) already! They had a house! WTF.

他们已经有小孩了！他们还有自己的房子！！

10. You feel like your twenties aren’t turning out how you expected they would.

觉得自己的二十几岁完全不是期望的样子。

This might be the biggest sign of all that you’re starting to contemplate your quarter-life milestone: You can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t exactly where you pictured you’d be at 23, 25, or 30. Maybe you don’t have a significant other. Maybe you’re not exactly in your dream job. Sure, you were never a “white-picket fence” person, but you thought you’d at least have SOME of your shit together by now. Instead, you have papajohns.com bookmarked on your browser and a halfhearted OkCupid habit.

这一点可能最重要：你开始认真思考已经过去的1/4人生——你总忍不住问自己，为什么23、25或30岁根本就不是期待的样子？为什么还是单身、做着不情愿的工作？你还没挣到自己的房子，但你本以为这个年纪自己应该有这点能力的；现实中，你依然宅着叫外卖，另一半也还杳无踪影……

Sooo… now what? If you feel like you’re in the throes of your own quarter-life crisis, here are a few practical tips drawn from Alexandra Robbins’ book, Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived:

那……该怎么办？如果你感觉自己正面临青年危机，请看下面一些建议（摘自亚历山德拉-罗宾斯的《战胜青年危机：给二十几岁人的建议》）：

Remember that life isn't a race

请记住：生活不是一场赛跑。

Few of the decisions you make at 26 will make or break your entire life. Try not to feel pigeonholed into keeping a career you hate or a relationship that’s gone stale because you’re “already on this path” and you feel like breaking up or quitting will “set you behind” on the track. Life’s too short to toil away at something that isn’t making you happy in the long term; decide what’s worth giving up.

26岁做的决定很少会毁掉你整个人生。不要因为现在“木已成舟”或害怕放弃一切后落后他人，就吊死在不喜欢的工作上或惨淡维持乏味关系。人生短暂，何必苦苦浪费大把时光在不开心的事情上，放弃那些该放弃的吧。

Muster up the courage to redefine yourself.

振作起来，重新认识自己。

Adulthood means finding your identity. In high school and college, your identity is mostly drawn up for you like a paint by number: your grades, your major, your career plans, your extracurricular activities. But post-college, your identity is an empty moleskine, and your job is to ascertain who you are and to fucking fill that book up. You might end up with scribbled-out pages and plots that go woefully unresolved, but as Robbins says: “At some point in your life, you are going to have to confront yourself. You might as well do it now.”

成年意味着界定自己的身份。高中和大学时代，你的身份都是被界定的，像一串形容与编号：你的年级、专业、就业规划、课外活动等等。但毕业后你的身份却是空白的，需要自己加以界定。或许你终其一生都潦倒茫然，根本不知道自己是谁。但正如罗宾斯所言：“你总得在人生某个时刻坦诚面对自己，那不如现在就开始吧。”

Loosen your expectations, and find comfort in the fact that you’re not alone.

降低要求，寻找同类。

Even your friends who slipped right from college into seemed wedded bliss and cushy jobs are feeling the same pangs of uneasiness that you might be feeling. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and to whom you feel you can open up in a truly cathartic way. Personally, finding people I can share my struggles with has helped me immensely in my twenties; there’s absolutely nothing more valuable than a friend to whom you can say, “Hey, my life is shitty right now,” and hear back, “Me too. Let’s talk about it.”

就算朋友一毕业就步入婚姻殿堂、得到轻松工作，也不见得比你快乐。多跟给你安全感、让你恰当释怀的人交往。其实，我二十几岁时就是这么做的，再没什么能比跟朋友侃侃生活困难更畅快的了。

It’s also the right time to finally let go of your expectations of what adulthood should be. It doesn’t matter if your parents married at 22 or if your friend is running a successful start-up; putting too much stress on preconceived ideas of what adulthood will be is a surefire way to tank all of your optimism and hopes. Life is too fucking short to daydream it away wishing you had someone else’s.

同时，也要降低因为成年而对自己的苛求。父母22岁结婚或朋友创业成功都跟你没关系；事先给自己太多压力、设定成年要如何如何，反倒一下子浇灭你的乐观和希望。人生短暂，万不可白日梦似的过着他人的生活。