The other day as I talked with a friend I recalled a story that I heard this summer. "Acompassionate(慈悲的)person, seeing a butterfly struggling to free itself from itscocoon(茧), and wanting to help, very gently loosened the filaments to form an opening. The butterfly was freed, emerged from the cocoon, and fluttered about but could not fly. What the compassionate person did not know was that only through the birth struggle can the wings grow strong enough for flight. Its shortened life was spent on the ground; it never knew freedom, never really lived."
I call it learning to love with an open hand. It is a learning which has come slowly to me and has been wrought in the fires of pain and in the waters of patience. I am learning that I must free the one I love, for if Iclutch(抓住)or cling, try to control, I lose what I try to hold.
If I try to change someone I love because I feel I know how that person should be, I rob him or her of a precious right, the right to take responsibility for one's own life and choices and way of being. Whenever I impose my wish or want or try to exert power over another, I rob him or her of the full realization of growth and maturation. I limit and prevent by my act of possession, no matter how kind my intention.
I can limit and injure by the kindest acts of protection or concern. Over extended it can say to the other person more eloquently than words, "You are unable to care for yourself; I must take care of you because you are mine. I am responsible for you."
As I learn and practice more and more, I can say to the one I love: "I love you, I value you, I respect you and I trust that you have the strength to become all that it is possible for you to become - if I don't get in your way. I love you so much that I can set you free to walk beside me in joy and in sadness. I will share your tears but I will not ask you not to cry. I will respond to your needs. I will care and comfort you, but I will not hold you up when you can walk alone. I will stand ready to be with you in your grief and loneliness but I will not take it away from you. I will strive to listen to your meaning as well as your word, but I shall not always agree. Sometimes I will be angry and when I am, I will try to tell you openly so that I need not hate our differences or feel estranged. I can not always be with you or hear what you say for there are times when I must listen to myself and care for myself, and when that happens I will be as honest with you as I can be."
I am learning to say this, whether it be in words or in my way of being with others and myself, to those I love and for whom I care. And this I call loving with an open hand.
I cannot always keep my hands off the cocoon, but I am getting better at it!
湖南一旅行社组团“不接待记者、孕妇”被查处
国内英语资讯:China hopes EU will continue to maintain market openness
国内英语资讯:Chinese submersibles probe South China Sea
国内英语资讯:Heavy rain to sweep south, east China
As 小词多义
国内英语资讯:Xi calls for building world-class universities with Chinese characteristics
体坛英语资讯:Ankle injury rules champion Manangoi out of World Championships
国内英语资讯:Chinas holiday railway traffic to peak on Tuesday
国内英语资讯:China expresses support for DPRK-U.S. dialogue, improvement of inter-Korean relations
五月份最值得一看的5部电影
有助减肥的最佳超级食物
有利于心脏健康的超级食物
这4个关于坐飞机的秘密,只有空姐才知道
国内英语资讯:China publishes selected works on Marxism from 1920s
撒谎不说lie,解雇不说fire!如何礼貌地说英语
环境保护者要在北极雕刻川普的脸?哈哈哈哈
体坛英语资讯:China routs Russia 3-0, Netherlands stuns Brazil in FIVB World Cup
哪10件事最值得你花时间去做?
那些暴露你年龄的科技产品,你都知道吗?
国内英语资讯:Commentary: Xi-Modi meeting charts course of steady China-India ties
国际英语资讯:Iran says Mideast safer without U.S.
体坛英语资讯:LeBron James becomes NBA postseason steals leader
为什么你和另一半的家人处不来
体坛英语资讯:Chinas 11th Ethnic Games conclude in Zhengzhou
体坛英语资讯:Navas, Benzema help Real Madrid reach Champions League final
研究显示 美国人通常因为经济问题而感到焦虑
国内英语资讯:China makes greater efforts to better business environment
国内英语资讯:Spotlight: Why Xis state visit bodes well for China-Nepal ties
Who needs a manbag? 哪类男士会选择“manbag”?
国内英语资讯:Chinese vice president meets Dominican FM