孩子的自制力决定未来成功与否

Niklas Capps gets ready for recess at Clara Barton Center for Children in Cabin John, Md., Feb. 11. Teachers at the school focus on promoting self-control.

2月11日，尼格拉斯·卡普斯准备在马里兰州卡班·约翰的克拉拉·巴顿儿童中心休假。学校的老师们正在致力于提高孩子们的自我控制能力。

Self-control keeps us from eating a whole bag of chips or from running up the credit card. A new study says that self-control makes the difference between getting a good job or going to jail — and we learn it in preschool.

自我控制能力防止我们吃掉一整袋的薯条或者把信用卡刷爆。一项新研究指出，我们在学龄前学习的自我控制能力决定了将来是得到一份好工作还是去坐牢。

"Children who had the greatest self-control in primary school and preschool ages were most likely to have fewer health problems when they reached their 30s," says Terrie Moffitt, a professor of psychology at Duke University and King's College London.

“在小学和学前年龄时就具有极佳自控能力的孩子们非常可能在三十多岁时的健康问题较少。”，杜克大学和伦敦大学国王学院的心理学教授泰利·莫菲特说。

Moffitt and a team of researchers studied a group of 1,000 people born in New Zealand in 1972 and 1973, tracking them from birth to age 32. The new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the best evidence yet on the payoff for learning self-discipline early on.

莫菲特和一组研究人员研究了1972年和1973年在新西兰出生的1000人，从出生跟踪他们直到三十二岁。发表在美国国家科学院学报上的这项新研究，是因早早学习自律而收益的最好证据。

The researchers define self-control as having skills like conscientiousness, self-discipline and perseverance, as well as being able to consider the consequences of actions in making decisions.

研究人员将自我控制能力定义为自我觉悟、自我约束和毅力，以及能够在决策中考虑行动的后果。

The children who struggled with self-control as preschoolers were three times as likely to have problems as young adults. They were more prone to have a criminal record; more likely to be poor or have financial problems; and they were more likely to be single parents.

在学龄前无法自控的儿童出问题的几率是成年后无法自控的人的三倍。他们更容易有犯罪纪录，贫穷或有经济困难的可能性更大，更有可能成为单亲家长。

This study doesn't prove that the lack of self-control in childhood caused these problems, but the large size of the study, and the fact that it followed one group of people over many years, makes a good case for an effect.

本研究并不能证明自童年缺乏自我控制能力就会造成这些问题，但这项研究规模之大以及多年来追踪一组人的事实，是一个效果很好的例子。

Teaching Control

教习自制

Economists and public health officials want to know whether teaching self-control could improve a population's physical and financial health and reduce crime. Three factors appear to be key to a person's success in life: intelligence, family's socioeconomic status and self-control. Moffitt's study found that self-control predicted adult success, even after accounting for the participants' differences in social status and IQ.

经济学家和公共卫生官员希望知道是否教习自我控制能提高人们物质和财政的健康并且减少犯罪。三个因素可能是成功的关键：智力、家庭的社会经济地位和自我控制能力。莫菲特的研究发现，即使参与者具有不同的社会地位和智商，自我控制能力预示了成年时的成功。

Cathie Morton, a teacher at the Clara Barton Center for Children, leads the kids in a clapping exercise to signal that it is time to shift gears and start cleaning up.

凯西·莫顿是克拉拉·巴顿儿童中心的老师，他以拍掌为信号，教孩子们改变节目并开始清理场地。

IQ and social status are hard to change. But Moffitt says there is evidence that self-control can be learned.

智商和社会地位很难改变。但莫菲特说，有证据表明，自我控制可以习得。

"Identical twins are not identical on self-control," she says. "That tells us that it is something they have learned, not something they have inherited."

“同卵双胞胎的自我控制能力并不一样，”她说，“这告诉我们，这是他们学到的东西，而不是遗传来的。”

Teaching self-control has become a big focus for early childhood education. At the Clara Barton Center for Children in Cabin John, Md., it starts with expecting a 4-year-old to hang up her coat without being asked.

教习自我控制已经成为幼儿教育的一大焦点。马里兰州卡班·约翰的克拉拉·巴顿儿童中心从教4岁的孩子自觉自动的挂起外套开始。

Director Linda Owen says the children are expected to be responsible for a series of actions when they arrive at school each morning, without help from Mom and Dad. The children sign in, put away their lunches, hang up their own clothes, wash their hands before they can play, and then choose activities in the classroom.

董事长琳达·欧文说，每天早晨到校后，孩子们应该不在父母的帮助下对自己的一系列行为负责。孩子们签到，收起午餐，挂上衣服，洗手，之后才可以玩耍，然后选择课堂活动。

"All those things help with self-management," Owen says.

“所有这些都有助于自我管理，”欧文说。

Mediating Conflict

调解冲突

Of course, not all 4-year-olds are ready to manage that, so the classroom is loaded with cues and clues to help the preschoolers make their own decisions and be responsible.

当然，并非所有4岁的孩子都能够做到这些，所以教室里到处是帮助学龄前儿童作出自己的决定并负责的暗示和线索。

Liya Pomfret and Rowan Miller demonstrate how they use the "solutions kit" to resolve conflicts.

丽雅·庞弗雷特及罗文·米勒展示了他们如何使用“解决方案工具包”来解决冲突。

A series of seven photos over the sink shows the correct sequence for hand washing. A "solutions kit" poster shows techniques the children can use to resolve disagreements themselves, like sharing or playing with another toy. The two teachers give the children multiple cues when it's time to clean up: Lights flash, a bell rings and the children clap and count to 100. That makes it easier to switch gears without a meltdown.

水槽底一系列的七张照片显示了洗手的正确顺序。一个“解决方案工具包”海报显示了孩子可以利用它独立解决分歧的技巧，比如与他人分享或者玩其他玩具。到打扫的时间的时候，两位老师会给孩子们多个提示：闪灯、铃声、孩子们鼓掌并数到100。这使得变换活动更容易，而且不会乱套。1

If a child has problems with self-management, the teachers make a customized "visual cue" card, with photos of the four play choices in the room, to make the decision easier.

如果孩子不能自我管理，老师在房间里挂上四种游戏选择做的照片作为特定的“视觉提示”牌帮助他们更容易地做出决定。

And teachers Cathie Morton and Daniela Capbert don't just supervise — they're in the thick of the children's play so that when the inevitable conflicts arise, they can redirect the children into other activities or help them talk through their feelings.

像凯西·莫顿和丹尼拉·凯普贝尔特不只是监督——他们也会参与到儿童游戏中，当不可避免的冲突发生时，他们可以让孩子们做其他活动，或帮助孩子通过交谈交流感受。

When things do go wrong, there are consequences. Timeouts and apologies don't mean much to children at this age, Owen says, so the teachers try to match consequences to the deed. When one of the children accidentally knocks over a 2-foot-tall tower of blocks that several children had spent half the morning building, the teachers ask the builders what should happen next. "Help fix it," one boy says. And, with a little prompting from the adults, they all pitch in and rebuild.

事情做错了，必然会有后果。罚坐冷板凳和道歉对这个年龄段的儿童并不是很重要，欧文说，因此老师会尝试匹配行为后果。当一个孩子意外地碰倒几个孩子花了半个上午才搭建的两英尺高的积木时，老师问搭积木的孩子们下一步会发生什么。“帮助修复它，”一个男孩说。而且，成人给他们一些鼓励后，孩子们都开始加入重新搭建。2

Self-Control At Home

在家自制

Parents can help their children learn self-control. Mary Alvord is a clinical psychologist in Silver Spring, Md., whose new book, Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents, teaches self-control strategies. Take small steps, she says. For example, preschoolers can learn that they don't always get what they want immediately; they may need to wait for that treat.

家长可以帮助孩子学会自我控制。玛丽·阿尔沃德马里兰州银泉的一位临床心理医生，她的新书《儿童和青少年韧性培养计划》教导自我控制策略。采取小步骤，她说，例如，幼儿可以知道他们并不总是立即就能得到想要的东西，他们可能需要等待饭菜。

"I call it Grandma's rule," Alvord says. "No dessert until you finish your dinner."

“我称之为奶奶的法则，”阿尔沃德说，“用完晚餐前不会有甜点。”

Parents can help teenagers learn self-control by making sure the family has clear rules for things like curfew or finishing homework before they have screen time. Teenager who have problems with impulsivity may benefit from special driving classes that let them practice controlling the car in difficult conditions on a racetrack. For all teens, clear rules such as curfews help them regulate themselves.

通过确定家庭对某些事有明确的规定，比如宵禁令或者完成作业后才能看电视，父母可以帮助青少年学习自我控制。那些容易冲动的少年有可能会受益于特殊驾驶课程，让他们练习在困难的条件下控制赛道上的车。对于所有的青少年来说，像宵禁这样明确的规定可以帮助他们自律。

Though self-control can be improved throughout life, Moffitt says the earlier children can learn these skills of self-discipline and perseverance, the better. "The later you wait in life to try to learn self-control skills, the more problems you have to reverse and overcome."

虽然自制能力的学习提高贯穿于整个人生，莫菲特说，儿童学习自律和毅力的技巧越早越好。“在生活中尝试学习自我控制能力拖得越晚，要扭转和克服的问题越多。”

All the more reason to start picking up blocks when you're very young.

所以，在你还小时，更要捡起那积木。