Sometimes it can be tough to keep a conversation going. Take this familiar scenario:
有时如何让对话继续是件难事,比如说下面这个场景有没有一点似曾相似?
You’re talking to someone you have just met, and the conversation is starting to stall. With every passing second of silence comes more and more awkwardness. You rack your brain, trying to come up with a new topic, but your mind is blank. You make your excuses and then leave. As you walk away you start to ponder where it all went wrong
你和一个刚刚遇到的人说着话,但谈话开始变得僵硬。随着沉闷一分一秒的加剧,场面变得越来越尴尬。你绞尽脑汁试图提出一个新话题,但你脑袋里却是一片空白。你为自己找了一个借口离开了。当你走开的时候,你开始思考到底是哪里出了问题呢。
Don’t worry; it happens to the best of us. But knowing how to keep a conversation going is a great skill to possess. If you have trouble keeping a conversation going , you might miss an opportunity to get to know a great person. Here are 5 tips to make sure you never find yourself in that situation again.
不用担心,即使是最健谈的人也会碰上这种情况。但知道如何让谈话继续下去,是一种极好的技能。如果你在这方面遇到了问题,那你极有可能错失了认识一个还不错的人的机会。这里的5个技巧将保证你不会再陷入那种尴尬境地。
1. Listen
倾听
Intently listening to what the other person is saying is the best way to keep a conversation going. Many people forget that listening is an active task; nodding your head in acknowledgement without really paying attention isn’t going to help you. Taking a genuine interest and really paying attention to what the other person is saying will.
专注地倾听对方所说的话,这是让对话继续的最佳方法。很多人忘记倾听是一种主动行为;只是漫不经心地点头表示赞许却没有真正注意听,这并不管用。但发自内心真诚的关注和用心倾听对方所说的话可以帮到你。
Use their conversation to keep things going. For example, someone might say, “I went to Italy last year.” This one statement offers a great opportunity to keep the conversation going. You could ask, “Which part did you go to? How is the food over there? What was your favourite part of the vacation? Would you recommend going etc?” Actively listening offers endless ways to keep a conversation going.
利用他们的谈话内容让对话继续。比如,有人会说:“去年我去了意大利。” 这句陈述提供了一个让对话继续的良机。你可以问:“你去了意大利的哪一个城市?那里的食物怎么样?你最喜欢假期里的哪一部分?你会推荐别人去吗?” 等等问题。主动倾听为继续对话提供了无限可能。
2. Ask open ended questions
问开放性的问题
Questions which require more than just a “yes” or “no” answer encourage people to talk for longer, taking the pressure off you. For example, if you ask, “Do you like this restaurant?” a one word answer might be given. However, asking, “What do you think of this restaurant?” offers a much greater possibility to keep the conversation going.
提出那些回答不是Y/N的问题可以鼓励人们多谈论,从而减轻了你身上的谈话压力。举个例子,如果你问:“你喜欢这家餐馆吗?”那你得到的回复就是一句话。然而,假如你问:“你觉得这家餐馆怎么样?”,这就极有可能让对话继续不停。
3. Talk about your passions
谈谈让你充满激情的话题
Have you ever noticed that when you talk about something you are passionate about, time seems to flow? You are able to talk for hours without any awkward silences.
你有没有注意到当你谈论那些让你充满激情的话题时,时间似乎一晃就过去了。你可以说上好几个小时而且还不会出现窘人 的沉闷。
If you find a conversation stalling, direct the conversation towards something you would have no trouble talking about; your passions.
如果你发现谈话开始变得尴尬,那么把对话引导到你觉得谈起来毫不费力的话题上:那些让你充满激情的事物。
4. Just say it
说出来
Sometimes you have no problem thinking up things to say. The problem is that you fear the other person won’t enjoy the subject you have in mind. This fear is usually unfounded. Next time you find yourself stuck in conversation, just say what is on your mind. You might just be pleasantly surprised.
有时想到说什么话并不是难事。但问题是你担心别人对你的这个话题不感兴趣。这种担心通常是多余的。下次当你觉得自己陷入了谈话困境,说出你脑中想到的就好了。你也许会大吃一惊!
5. Practice
练习
Now you know of some tips to keep a conversation going, it is time to put them into practice. No matter what your skill level, you can only become better by practicing.
现在你知道了一些让对话继续的技巧,那么是时候把它们应用到实际中去了。不论你的水平如何,你只有不断地练习才能变得更好。
If you still lack confidence in your conversational skills, start off by talking to your family and friends. When you feel a little more confident, get out of your comfort zone. Start to talk to co-workers or complete strangers. Soon enough, you will be able to master the art of conversation.
如果你对自己的谈话技巧缺乏信心,那么从与家人交谈和与朋友交谈开始。当你有了一点信心以后,然后离开你的舒适区域。开始和同事或完全陌生的人交谈。很快你就能掌握谈话的艺术。
Remember that sometimes the person you are talking with doesn’t want to be sociable. They might be lost in their thoughts, be having a bad day or simply don’t want to contribute to the conversation. Even the very best conversationalists would have trouble keeping a conversation going. In this scenario, it is best to politely excuse yourself and find someone else to talk to.
记住,有时和你谈话的人并不擅长社交。他们可能陷在自己的想法中,或者遇到了不好的事,又或者只是不想交谈而已。即使是最健谈的人也会遇到谈话不能继续的情形。在这种情形下,最好的做法是为自己找一个委婉的理由离开,然后找另一个人谈话。
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