Wit is a quality that is easily desired, but no so easily obtained. Those who do have it have gained heavy acclaim. Since the beginning of time, mankind has argued and debated against one another, and while some conflicts are won in wars, many of them are won in words. Here are ten of history’s best comebacks, retorts, repartee, insults, or whatever else you’d like to call them. From quotes of Winston Churchill to Oscar Wilde, these are surely people to tell tales about.
机智是人人都很想要的品质，可是却没那么容易得到。机智的人总是会获得无尽赞美。自古以来，人类中就有争吵和辩论的存在。有些矛盾是通过战争解决，有些却是在言语交锋中战胜别人。下面是史上十大最佳的反驳，你说这些是机敏的回答也好，不动声色的侮辱也好，都可以。从丘吉尔到王尔德，他们妙语连珠，绝对是机智界的传奇：
10. An English Comeback 英式反驳
Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into the wealthy English family of Astor. She actually was the first woman to be elected to Parliament, which makes her humiliation all the sweeter. She was invited to 1912 a dinner party located in the Churchill estate, but, unfortunately for her, she became extremely annoyed at a drunk and politically incorrect Winston Churchill. Finally, she exclaimed the following: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Unaffected by her sudden outburst, Churchill moderately and quickly replied with a great comeback:
南茜·阿斯特是嫁入英国阿斯特家族的美国名媛，事实上她也是第一位入选国会的女性，这样看起来虽然她在丘吉尔面前丢脸了，也无伤大雅。1912年，南茜受邀到丘吉尔的府邸参加晚宴，不过她很不幸，她对着喝醉的丘吉尔，再想到与其在政治上的意见分歧，越发恼火，最后南茜说出下面这句话：“温斯顿，你要是我丈夫，我早在你的咖啡里下毒了。”可是丘吉尔对南茜的突然爆发表现得无动于衷，他很快很平常地回了一句：
“Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.”
“南茜，你要是我夫人，我肯定会喝的。”
9. The Best Presidential Comeback 最佳总统式反驳
The next situation involves the 30th US president, Calvin Coolidge. He was a relatively quiet man and was known for his brevity, though the few words he had made quite an impression, especially with this wonderful comeback. After an after-dinner recital, an acclaimed and heavily respected opera singer was invited to the White House. But apparently performing for the president was quite a frightening experience and her performance left much to be desired. During the performance, one of the White Houses’s guests leaned over and whispered to Coolidge: “What do you think of the singer’s execution?” Coolidge calmly replied:
下面这个是关于美国第三十任总统卡尔文·柯立芝的轶事。柯立芝是个相当安静的人，语言简洁，不过虽然寥寥数语，但让人印象深刻，尤其是下面这句精彩的反驳。一次餐后独奏会后，白宫邀请了一位大受欢迎德高望重的歌剧演唱家来表演。不过对于这位演唱家来说，为总统表演绝对是次胆战心惊的经历，所以她的演唱乏善可陈。在演出途中，一位白宫的客人靠过来跟柯立芝悄悄说道：“您觉得这位演唱家表现得怎么样？”柯立芝很冷静地回答道：
“I’m all for it.”
“我完全赞成你的观点。”
8. The Obvious Comeback 最明显的反驳
Mohandas Gandhi is associated with civil rights and nonviolence, but most definitely not wit. As the following story will show you, Gandhi didn’t have to fight with his fists, but simply had to use his words. After gaining fame for a campaign to promote colonial India’s independence, Gandhi traveled to London and met with British authorities. The British were wonderfully curious about this strange little man, and Gandhi was constantly bombarded with questions from the press and photographers. One day, a reporter cried out, “What do you think of Western civilization?” And in a monumental moment that would define Gandhi’s reputation, he replied:
人们总是把莫汉达斯·甘地和公民权利、非暴力运动这些联系在一起，而绝对不会跟机智挂上钩。下面这个故事告诉你，甘地不需要用拳头战斗，简单的言语就可以。由于推行殖民地印度的独立运动，甘地名声大噪，他去英国旅行时跟英国的当地官员见面。英国人对这个奇怪的小男人相当好奇，甘地频频收到来自报社和摄像师的问题的狂轰乱炸。有次有个记者问道：“你对西方文明有什么看法？“在这样一个和他的名声息息相关的重要时刻，甘地回答道：
“I think it would be a good idea.”
“我觉得这个想法是很好。”
7. The “Greatest” Comeback 最“伟大”的反驳
Muhammad Ali once took a flight on Eastern Airlines in the 1970s. A flight attendant was making her final checks on the passengers, but noticed Ali failed to fasten his seat belt. She kindly asked him to do so, but Ali replied quite arrogantly, “Superman don’t’ need no seat belt.” Not intimidated by the boxer’s reputation and fame, the flight attendant replied:
20世纪70年代，拳王阿里曾经搭乘过东方航空公司的飞机。一位空姐在对乘客进行最后的检查时，发现阿里没有系上安全带。空姐很和蔼地提醒阿里，但是我们的拳王态度傲慢地回答道：“超人不需要安全带。”这位空姐完全没有被拳王的名气吓到，她依然语气和蔼地回答道：
“Superman don’t need no airplane either.”
“超人也不需要坐飞机。”
6. The Wildest and Best Comeback by Oscar Wilde
王尔德最大胆最好的反驳
Oscar Wilde was widely known for his wit and intelligence in plays, but he was no stranger to it in real-life. After one performance of one of his plays, Wilde went on stage and welcomed a warm reception. Many people applauded and threw a copious amount of beautiful flora, but one unsatisfied person threw a rotten cabbage at the playwright. Wilde picked it up and replied with a straight face:
奥斯卡·王尔德因为在戏剧创作方面的机智和才华广为人知，不过在现实生活中，王尔德也同样是一个机智过人的人。在一次他的剧作搬上舞台的演出后，王尔德上台致谢，受到了大家的热烈欢迎。许多人鼓掌，还把许多漂亮的植物投掷到舞台上。不过有位观众似乎不满意，朝剧作家扔了一颗烂白菜。王尔德捡起白菜，脸上没什么表情的说道：
“Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you.”
“谢谢你我的朋友，每次我闻到它，我肯定会想起你。”