2016届高考英语一轮复习课件：第三部分 写作提升系列第一板块 能力层级（一）第8节(北师大版)

　　One who teaches morality but practices immorality is a wolf in a sheep’s skin. 满口仁义道德，一肚子男盗女娼的人就是披着羊皮的狼。(比喻)

　　[学以致用] 用“优雅性原则”翻译下列句子 1．要求这位秘书写报告时要快速、准确、全面。(排比) The secretary was asked to write the report quickly，accurately and throughly. 2．老师说他是个差生，因为他要等到考试时才学习、做作业漫不经心、而且缺乏学习动力。(排比) The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam，completed his homework in a careless way，and lacked motivation. 3．世界就是个舞台，所有的男人和女人都是演员。(比喻) The whole world is a stage. All men and women are merely players. 4．自我批评的重要性就如同空气和水一样。(比喻) Self­criticism is as important to us as air and water. 第八节　亮点句式润色的七大原则 [技法指导] 　作文要想得高分，必须要有吸引阅卷老师眼球的亮点。如何打造亮点句式呢？大家可以遵循以下七个原则。 原则一：新颖性 　改掉句中的俗词，或合理调整句子语序，都有助于提升句子的新颖性。新颖的句子能为评卷者在评卷过程中带来良性体验，能有效提升作文表达和分值。 1．变换用词 行文时，既要避免使用俗词，又要避开冷僻词汇。 (1)Though it might be difficult，you will find a way of doing it at last and you’ll achieve success. →However difficult it might be，you will find a way of doing it at last and you’ll achieve success.(2017·山东高考满分作文) 无论有多困难，你最终会找到一种干它的方法并取得成功。 (2)I believe very much that a wise choice leads to perfection.

　　→I am pretty convinced that a wise choice leads to perfection.(2017·上海高考满分作文) 我非常相信，英明的选择会通向完美。 2．变换语序 适当变换语序也有助于提高句子新颖性。在评卷过程中，倒装句、插入语等非正常语序形式都能让评卷人眼前一亮。 (1)I was so excited that I couldn’t wait to try my hand at riding it. →So excited was I that I couldn’t wait to try my hand at riding it.(2017·福建高考满分作文) 我那么激动以致于我迫不及待的尝试骑它。 (2)I guess you must have had no end of trouble. →You must have had no end of trouble，I guess. 我想你一定经历过无数的困难。 [学以致用] 用变换用词或语序的方式增加新颖性 1．We should remember that hard work leads to success. →We should bear in mind that hard work leads to success. 2．Recycled bags are better than plastic bags in environment protecting. →Recycled bags are superior to/have advantages over plastic bags in environment protecting. 3．The days when we Chinese people were looked down upon are gone. →Gone are the days when we Chinese people were looked down upon. 4．A beautiful smile can not only make ourselves happy，but also enable others to be delighted. →Not only can a beautiful smile make ourselves happy，but also enable others to be delighted. 原则二：具体性 　在具备一定词汇量的条件下，具体的表达比泛泛而谈的内容更能引起读者的共鸣。换句话说，写作需要“真善美”，尽量避免“假大空”。 1．My friend is fixing the car. →My friend，Leon，is fixing his 12­year­old Santana. 2．I saw my classmate studying in the classroom. →I saw my naughty but lovely classmate studying in the classroom. [学以致用] 　用“具体性原则”把“假大空版”改为“真善美版” 写作要求：学校要举行一场题为“Turning a bad mood into a good one”的英语作文比赛，要求你写一篇文章，其中一个要点是如何调整心情。 假大空版：Keeping a good mood is of great importance. When you feel angry or anxious，calm down. It is useless losing a temper and we should always make ourselves happy. 真善美版：We should learn to keep a good mood. Communicating with family members or friends is the best choice. Also listening to some peaceful music can be helpful. Reading is another way to stop being mad. 原则三：简洁性 　写作过程中，不必为了增添字数而采用冗余表达。给评分者带来好感的不是字数，而是简洁明了、条理清晰的语句。 1．His brother，who is a tourist guide，will help us plan this trip. →His brother，a tourist guide，will help us plan this trip. 2．They found the answer to be quite satisfactory. →They found the answer quite satisfactory. [学以致用] 用“简洁性原则”简化下面的句子 1．The friendship that is based on profits won’t last long. The friendship based on profits won’t last long. 2．They consider Paris to be the brain and heart of the country. They consider Paris the brain and heart of the country. 原则四：紧凑性 　作文中难免用到短句，但如果短句太多，会使人感到段落过于零散。因此需要将过多的短句整合成紧凑的句子。 Most tourist attractions in China are littered. This lake is the worst. →Most tourist attractions in China are littered，the worst of which is this lake. →Most tourist attractions in China are littered，with this lake being the worst. [学以致用] 用“紧凑性原则”整合下面的句子 1．He is our English teacher. His name is Wang Bin. He has taught us for two years. Wang Bin，our English teacher，has taught us for two years. 2．They finished repairing the broken chair together. They felt very happy.

　　How happy they felt after they finished repairing the broken chair together! 原则五：逻辑性 　汉语重语义，英语重逻辑。在写作中如果通过逻辑表达自己的观点、取舍、好恶等信息，这样的句子会博得评卷者的青睐。 1．To put this problem to an end，we must follow these steps. →To put this problem to an end，we have no alternative but to follow these steps. 2．The love of a man who lays down his life for his friends is the greatest love. →There is no greater love than that of a man who lays down his life for his friends. [学以致用] 用“逻辑性原则”改写下面的句子 1．Mr. Stevenson is great to work for—he is really the best boss for me to ask for. Mr. Stevenson is great to work for—I really couldn’t ask for a better boss. 2．Being addicted to computer games can most affect the study of a student. Nothing can affect the study of a student as greatly as being addicted to computer games. 原则六：互动性 　写作是与读者互动的一个过程。在写作中，作者可以通过适当发问来引导读者对论题逐渐深入了解。 Which is more important，wealth or health? 财富和健康，哪个更重要？ Which is better，a telephone call or a letter? 打电话还是写信，哪个更好？ Should students make friends on line? 学生应该网上交友吗？ [学以致用] 用“互动性原则”改写下列句子 1．We should take the following measures to solve the problem. Any solutions？How about taking the following measures? 2．As to whether the private car drivers shall be charged congestion fees，opinions are divided. Shall the private car drivers be charged congestion fees？Opinions are divided on this matter. 原则七：优雅性 运用简单的修辞，可增加句子的优雅性。有些同学可能会感觉太难，但简单易行的修辞方法我们在阅读过程中随处可见，只是我们只顾做题，从未领会过文章中的生花妙笔。 In order to get her to recover as soon as possible，I took good care of her by helping her take some medicine，putting cold towel on her forehead，preparing her meals，etc.(2017·北京高考满分作文) 为了让她尽快恢复，我细心照顾她，帮她服药、把冷毛巾放在她的额头上、为她做饭等。(排比)