第六讲 打造写作亮点提升写作档次
阅读下面短文体会其中高级词汇和句式的使用。尽管父母爱我如初但随着年龄的增长眼界的开阔Perfect Parents in My Mind”为题写一篇120个词左右的短文谈谈理想中的父母应该是什么样的。Perfect Parents in My Mind
My parents are concerned about everything about me；what to eat and wearwho to make friends with，what hobbies to have...But I am an adult now.I do want to make my own decisions and lead my own life.
Therefore，I do wish they would allow me to make decisions sometimes.I wish they’d understand that working hard to prepare for university does not mean reading textbooks and doing a sea of exercises only; other activities also count，like sports，music and extensive reading.I wish they would take me as equal；they would include me in any decision making in the familyfor I’m a member and should have my voice heard.
I hope that my parents not only love me，but trust me，and understand me as well.
提升写作档次的窍门就是增加文章中的亮点句式打造亮点句子巧妙布局谋篇。一、词汇的选择和使用要多样性词汇的选择要新颖独到在有把握的前提下使用在阅读中碰到的高级词汇相信阅卷者会对你的文章刮目相看。试体会下列句子黑体部分被括号中的高级词汇替代后的效果。About the money you charge，does it cover the entrance fees for visiting the places listed？(As for)for the move.(in favor of)
二、语言结构要丰富、多变在确保行文准确流畅的前提下需要文字清新简练语句灵活多变以使文章的语言结构更加丰富多彩。删减赘言。删减不必要的词句子会显得明快干练焕发新的生机。试体会删去黑体部分后的效果。of hard work to complete the project.
2．用介词或名词代替动词或从句。试体会黑体部分被括号中的词替代后的效果。and there is a bedroom，a bathroom，and a kitchen.(with)
3．使用短语结构来简化从句或合并短句。常见的结构有介词短I’ll write to you the moment I arrive in Beijing.
→On my arrival in Beijing，I’ll write to you.
4．通过合并将意义相关的几个句子用一定的连接方式连接起来或通过紧缩去掉一些多余的成分可以避免句子冗长累赘松散无力使句子凝炼层次清晰。ch as reading books，visiting museums and taking computer lessons.
5．增加复杂句式改变“主谓宾”的简单句换上句中的其他成分或有意识地使用一些特殊效果的定语从句、倒装句、强调句、感叹句、介词短语、短语修饰语、副词状语等这样能增加文章的节奏感和韵律美。e problem.
→It is only in this way that you can work out the problem.
三、巧布局善谋篇层次清晰开头段——开门见山点明主旨好的开端是成功的一半。而开门见山往往是阅卷人青睐的方法之一。开头点明主题即首先用事实、观点、名言等开头吸引读者2．主体段——衔接自然内容连贯主体段是由一个或一个以上的自然段组成主要用来陈述事实或列举事例按照时间、空间、逻辑、重要性的顺序使用对比、分类、说明等手段对主体句进行拓展当然每个自然段是文章的组成部分同时本身又是一个整体也要有自己的主体句所以对于占文章70%篇章的主体段落来说这一段落的支持材料要统一筹划合理安排。结尾段——简洁有效首尾呼应结尾部分是给评卷人留下深刻印象的最后机会。结尾部分是对文章的总结和思想的
用恰当的主题句和支持句或段落展开的适当形式补全短文！High school students 1.________(面对)a choice between arts and science.2.________________________(对我来说这是不容易做出的选择)．After careful consideration________________________________________(我决定把理科作为我的主要学习科目)．The reasons are as follows.________________________________________________________(首先在中国理科毕业生要比文科毕业生需求量大)．Second________________________________________________________________________(再次我父母希望我在大学学习理科因为他们认为作为理科生我会有更美好的前途).6.________________________(最后但仍然重要)________________________________(对我的决定影响重大)．________________(做出选择)．答案：1.are faced with 2.It was not an easy choice for me to make 3.I decide on science as my main subject of study 5.Thirdmy parents wish me to study science at college because they believe I will have a brighter future as a science student 6.Last but not least 7.whose influence on me had a lot to do with my decision 8.made my choice