第四讲 巧妙遣词造句实现升级策略
(2017·高考新课标全国卷Ⅱ)一家英语报社向中学生征文主题是“十年后的我”。请根据下列要点和你的畅想完成短文。家庭；工作；业余生活。注意：1.词数100左右；可以适当增加3．开头语已为你写好。____________________________________
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满分作文：give an excellent picture of my future life(很好地描绘我未来的生活) in ten years.To begin with(首先)nerations①(奉献大部分生活养育两代人)．As_far_as work is concerned(就工作而言)(那种情况下)(在那里空气新鲜人们友善)．I will enjoy so many interesting activities(例如) fishing(梦想)．温馨提示1.巧用词汇；bring up；As far as work is concerned；such as；dream of该句是一个含原因状语从句的复合句逻辑严密用词准确语义连贯。的运用使句子紧凑。
高考书面表达最高档次的评分标准中要求“词汇丰富有修辞意识显示出较强的语言运用能力”。因此要想在高考英语写作中取得高分就必须使用一定的高级词汇及复杂句式为文章增加闪光点从而提高文章的档次。一、遣词方面：措辞要贴切具体试比较下面句子：一个人正在街上闲逛。 is wandering down the street.
通过比较可以看出前一句不如后一句表达得具体、生动。一个词如果内涵越具体那么在特定的场景中恰当地使用它就会收到意想不到的效果。要善于运用短语短语用得好会给评卷老师留下深刻印象。例如：(普通)(胃口)for knowledge.(高级)二、造句方面：巧用非谓语动词运用非谓语动词可使文句看起来更简洁使语言更加丰富多彩重点更加突出增加文采。巧用with复合结构＋名词/代词＋现在分词/过去分词/形容词/副词/介词”结构常作伴随状语以增加被描绘内容的生动性和情感性He slept all the night and the window was open.(一般)(高级)巧用复合句评分标准中强调使用语法结构的数量和复杂性鼓励考生尽量使用较复杂的结构并且对由此产生的错误采取了宽容的态度。如果恰当运用各类从句就会增加文章的亮点。which greatly increased my confidence and got me motivated.(定语从句)巧用倒装句、感叹句、强调句、虚拟语气句等使用这些句式可使文章化平淡为生动加强语气使评卷老师感受作者的强烈情感起到升级文章的作用。Disappointed as I felt at the shabby campus and the poorly equipped classroom，I found the teachers patient and considerate.(倒装句)巧用排比等句式如能运用一个个排比句、对偶句、不定式或短语可使文章增色不少会给评卷老师眼前一亮的感觉。The purpose of the program is to make our school more beautiful，to make the air cleaner and fresher，and to turn our school into a better place for us to study and live in.
Ⅰ.请写出下面作文的亮点词句How we can build up a harmonious family
A harmonious family is essential to our personal development and our physical and mental health.A harmonious family is always full of warmth，love and laughter.Parents and children love and show concern for each other.They also respect and understand each other.If a child grows up in a harmonious family，he is more likely to be cheerful and optimistic.Otherwise，he may be miserable and pessimistic.Meanwhile，parents in a harmonious family are sure to live more happily and healthily.
Since a harmonious family plays a very important role in our life，it is up to every family member to contribute to the building of such a family.First of all，parents should be a role model for their children and pay more attention to their own words and behavior.Besides，they must trust their children and often communicate with them.
As children of the family，we should also respect and understand our parents，and try to share their burdens.If we do so，our family will always be harmonious.
亮点词句：_______________
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答案：full of warmth；show concern for；If；is more likely to be；Otherwise；Meanwhile；are sure to；Since；plays a very important role in；it is up to；contribute to；First of all；pay more attention to；Besides；communicate with；As；If we do soⅡ.巧妙遣词造句升级下面文章留意一下我们的周边可以发现陪读现象很普遍。请你根据以下要点写一篇短文内容应包括：简要描述陪读现象；分析父母陪读的原因(2至3个)；发表你对此的看法。注意：1.词数120～150；标题已给出不计入总词数。Should Our Parents Accompany Us in Studying at School
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One possible version：Should Our Parents Accompany Us in Studying at School
In recent years，many parents choose to accompany their children in studying，which has aroused a wide concern.
These parents are willing to leave their hometown，even quit their jobs to follow their children into the campus.Most of them rent an apartment nearby so as to take good care of their children.
Parents consider it necessary to offer a better living condition to their children.Meanwhile，it enables them to keep track of their children’s academic performance.
Nevertheless，what they have ignored is that it will get their kids into the habit of being dependent.Thus，they will never develop the ability of self-control in the future.
Trust leads to independence.So it seems to me parents should create room for children’s
growth and study in order to ensure their overall development.