生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕17
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,130
为什么我总是出力
Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?
2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,960
很简单啊
Well, it's very simple.
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,060
在我们这群一无所有的破烂科学家当中
In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose,
4
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,500
我负责动脑子
I'm the smart one,
5
00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:11,860
沃罗威茨负责搞笑
Wolowitz is the funny one,
6
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,960
库萨帕里是一个奋力想要融入我们的生活
and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner
7
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,460
但是以失败告终的可爱的老外
who struggles to understand our ways and fails.
8
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,200
你别无选择
只有肌肉男了
That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,560
再多搬一层
我就肌肉难了
One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.
10
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,160
来的正好 我要饿死了
Oh, it's about time. I'm starving.
11
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,730
这个
其实我们没带中国菜回来
Um, well, we didn't actually get Chinese food.
12
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,360
-为什么啊
-淡定 这个更赞
- Why not?
- Don't panic. This is better.
13
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,860
不是吧 你们不会用食物换了魔豆吧
Oh, no. You didn't trade the food for magic beans, did you?
14
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:40,500
当然没有
Of course not.
15
00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:42,360
况且严格来说
魔豆也是食物
And technically, magic beans would be food.
16
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,500
虽然吃了它们怪浪费的
Although eating them would be quite a waste,
17
00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:45,860
因为你可以种植它们
since you could plant them,
18
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,430
然后一夜之间
就会长成一株巨大的豆茎
and overnight, have a giant beanstalk,
19
00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:50,330
足够一个小城市吃的
which would provide enough roughage for a small city.
20
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,560
其实有时候我根本没听你说话
Yeah, sometimes I don't listen.
21
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,260
只是看着你的下巴一上一下
Sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.
22
00:00:56,530 --> 00:00:58,430
我们去中餐馆的路上
We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant
23
00:00:58,460 --> 00:00:59,730
貌似看见了亚当·韦斯特
when we thought we saw Adam West,
24
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,800
亚当·韦斯特:《蝙蝠侠》的扮演者
25
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所以我们就跟着他走
so we followed him.
26
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:01,930
谁是亚当·韦斯特
Who's Adam West?
27
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,130
谁是亚当·韦斯特
Who's Adam West?!
28
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,430
莱纳德
你们性交之后都聊些什么啊
Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
29
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,630
我猜是
"哇塞
4分钟
新纪录啊"
My guess is, "Hey, four minutes! New record!"
30
00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:17,760
所以我才负责搞笑啊
That's why I'm the funny one.
31
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,230
反正呢
我们跟着他到了旧货出售摊儿
Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale,
32
00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,800
那卖的东西都超赞
and they had the coolest stuff.
33
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:22,900
他们正好关门大甩卖
They were closing up.
34
00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:24,760
这一箱子东西才60块
We got this whole box for 60 bucks.
35
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,160
我们还没来得及看清都有什么呢
We didn't even get to go through it all.
36
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,460
说不定有什么宝贝呢
There could be anything in here.
37
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,230
看看有没有新女朋友 说不定你需要一个
There a new girlfriend in there? 'Cause you might need one.
38
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,060
没有
No.
39
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:35,430
不过有《捉鬼敢死队》的原版终稿
But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script
40
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,160
上面真的有黏液的污迹哎
with actual slime stains!
41
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,660
你说得对
Oh, you're right.
42
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,900
这个是《捉鬼敢死队2》
It's Ghostbusters 2.
43
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:42,160
没看头
Never mind.
44
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,200
我滴神啊
Oh, my God.
45
00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:50,730
是阿福娃娃
An Alf doll.
46
00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:54,080
我11岁时
我妈在我爸去世后
When I was 11, my mother got me one
47
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,360
给我买了一个 让我能睡好觉
to help me sleep after my dad left.
48
00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,600
我那时候会假装 爸爸是去了蜜胺树脂星球
I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac,
49
00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:05,030
而阿福会把他带回我身边的
and Alf was going to bring him back to me.
50
00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:07,330
但它从来也没有
But he never did.
51
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,560
我爸爸在哪儿
小玩偶
Where's my daddy, puppet?
52
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,200
他在哪儿
Where is he?
53
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,060
太伤感了
That is so sad.
54
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,260
不
更伤感的是你居然不知道
No, what's sad is that you don't know
55
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,230
亚当·韦斯特是电视版蝙蝠侠的扮演者
Adam West was TV's Batman.
56
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:43,710
生活大爆炸
第三季第十七集
57
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,860
史波克的脑袋(波克:《星际迷航》中的人物)
Here's Spock's head with no body.
58
00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:58,530
T先生的身子(Mr.T:《星际迷航》中的人物)
Here's Mr.T's body with no head.
59
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:02,530
啊在这儿
史波克的身子配T先生的脑袋
Oh, yeah, here's Spock's body with Mr.T's head.
60
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,800
我同情那些没有逻辑的傻瓜
I pity the fool who's illogical.
61
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,760
好吧
我要回家了
Okay, I'm just gonna go home
62
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,600
做一个烤干酪
然后上eHarmony 意淫去
and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.
63
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,660
eHarmony:美国线上交友网站
64
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,530
好的
拜拜
Okay, bye.
65
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,130
妥了
Okay.
66
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,560
哇塞
快看
《夺宝奇兵》的连连看
Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.
67
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,730
还有潜水侠的手办
And an Aquaman action figure.
68
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,030
好像有人给他画了个小弟弟
Looks like someone drew a penis on him.
69
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,230
没事儿
看我擦掉
Ooh, that'll come off.
70
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,430
我们都看不下去了喂
You see what you're doing?
71
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,900
停下
Stop that.
72
00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,160
真赞啊
Fascinating.
73
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,600
什么东西
What?
74
00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:50,030
是《魔戒》里的魔戒
It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.
75
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,530
上面居然还刻着
Oh. It's even got
76
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,100
精灵语呢
the Elvish engraving on it.
77
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,430
不是精灵语
It's not Elvish.
78
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,660
是用精灵语的字母写的魔多语
It's the language of Mordor written in Elvish script.
79
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,830
"魔戒全属至尊御"
"One Ring to rule them all."
80
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:06,830
出自《魔戒》台词
81
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:04,430
"至尊指引诸魔戒"
"One Ring to find them."
82
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:07,030
"至尊魔戒唤众戒"
"One Ring to bring them all."
83
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:10,560
"众戒归一黑暗中"
"And in the darkness bind them."
84
00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,530
我靠
咱们好宅啊
Holy crap, are we nerdy.
85
00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:18,860
我调查了一下这个魔戒
So, I was doing some checking on the ring.
86
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:21,100
等下
谢尔顿
那边桌子上的是番茄酱吗
Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?
87
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,360
是滴
Yes, there is.
88
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,930
有个好玩的事儿 起初 番茄酱是酱汁的总称
Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce,
89
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,230
特别是那些加了草本植物和香料的 蘑菇或腌鱼
typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices.
90
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,960
早期流行的主材料包括蓝莓
Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry,
91
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,460
凤尾鱼
牡蛎
四季豆
还有葡萄
anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.
92
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,430
没事儿
我去拿
No, that's okay. I'll get it.
93
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:46,030
听我说
我仔细观察了魔戒 看上去有点奇怪
Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird.
94
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:47,600
上面竟然没有版权声明
No copyright notice on it.
95
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:51,130
所以我就拿给我一个哥们儿看
这么说吧
So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with--
96
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,730
他专门和收藏界的黑市 做交易
shall we say-- the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.
97
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,200
黑市
Seedy underbelly?
98
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,560
你那个黑市淘来的手提式相位枪
You know, your black market phasers,
99
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,560
出自《星际迷航》
100
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,730
还有乌拉中尉在电影中穿过的内裤
your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties,
101
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,100
就那些东西呗
that kind of stuff.
102
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,300
你这个神秘兄弟是谁
Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?
103
00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,360
就是我认识的一个家伙
Just a guy. I know a guy.
104
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,060
-艾迪·克里斯波吗
-我不能告诉你
别问了
- Is it Eddie Crispo? - No, I can't tell you who it is. Stop asking.
105
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,700
还能是谁
肯定是艾迪·克里斯波
Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.
106
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,800
我认识很多黑道人物
好不好
I know lots of dangerous people, okay?
107
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:17,860
-说一个
-艾迪·克里斯波
- Name one. - Eddie Crispo.
108
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:24,000
不管怎样 他说这个不是仿品 而是真品
Anyway, he said this isn't a replica. It's the real deal.
109
00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:26,960
如果你说这就是索伦在末日火山
If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power
110
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,230
打造的至尊魔戒[指环王情节]
forged by Sauron in Mount Doom,
111
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:31,660
我会用极为不屑和
I look at you with an expression of exhaustion
112
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,700
嘲笑的表情看着你
and ever so slight amusement.
113
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,660
他不是说这是魔戒
He's not saying it's a magic ring.
114
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,600
对吧
You're not, are you?
115
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,630
没错
但差不多
No, but it's close.
116
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,130
看里面的标记
Look at the markings inside.
117
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,430
那是生产标记
Those are production markings.
118
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:50,400
为拍摄《指环王》
共打造了九枚戒指
Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies.
119
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,230
三枚送给了剧中演员
Three were given to members of the cast.
120
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,700
剩下的都被销毁了
The rest were destroyed.
121
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,460
除了一枚
Except one.
122
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,200
被偷的一枚
One was stolen.
123
00:05:58,230 --> 00:06:00,260
先生们
Gentlemen...
124
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,830
这就是至尊魔戒
this is the one ring.
125
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,660
归我了
Mine!
126
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,260
不
不是你的
No, it is not yours.
127
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,900
我们一起去要的箱子
We all went in on the box together.
128
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:15,230
对
但是我在箱子里找到的
Well, yes, but I found it in the box,
129
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,330
海难救助法明确规定
and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state
130
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,230
找到沉海宝藏的人
that the finder of a sunken treasure
131
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,830
即视为宝藏的主人
is the owner of the treasure.
132
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,730
这怎么符合海难救助法
How is this maritime salvage?
133
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,160
除了没有水
怎么不符合
Other than the lack of water, how is it not?
134
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,700
等等
谢尔顿
先别发疯
Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second.
135
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,900
这种东西值多少钱
How much is something like this worth?
136
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,530
这么抢手的东西很难估价
Well, it's tough to say since it's hot,
137
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,630
不过在黑市里
我朋友估价
but on the underground market, my guy figures...
138
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:35,660
你是指艾迪·克里斯波吧
Your guy Eddie Crispo?
139
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,860
是滴
Yes.
140
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:43,730
他估价一万到一万五
He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.
141
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,230
既然值这么多钱
Okay, that's a lot of money.
142
00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:48,360
明智之举是用它投资更实用的东西
The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical.
143
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,100
比如水上摩托艇
Like a jet ski.
144
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:53,060
你要摩托艇干嘛
Why do you want a jet ski?
145
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,400
电影里有钱又帅的人都骑摩托艇
All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis.
146
00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:58,200
这不可能是巧合
That can't just be a coincidence.
147
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:00,300
我们不能卖它
We can't sell it.
148
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:01,900
要保存它
We have to keep it
149
00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:03,230
珍惜它
爱护它
and love it and polish it,
150
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,700
只能偶尔拿出来
and only take it out occasionally
151
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,030
去公园里
when we go to the park
152
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:09,030
重演电影里喜欢的场景
and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies.
153
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:13,100
听着有意思
其实很无聊
It's sad how great that sounds.
154
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,300
各位
这是偷来的
Guys, it's stolen.
155
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:15,930
应该还给彼得·杰克逊[指环王导演]
It should go back to Peter Jackson.
156
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,760
他制作的电影
魔戒应该属于他
He made the movies; it belongs to him.
157
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:18,960
行啊
Fine.
158
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,330
可以换给他
只要他答应
He can have it back as long as he promises
159
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,600
让我演下一部电影里的霍比特人
to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
160
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:25,700
没有犹太霍比特人
There are no Jewish hobbits.
161
00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:27,560
显然你没在岁首节[犹太新年]
Clearly, you've never been to my house
162
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,830
来我家吃饭
for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.
163
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:32,230
我们不能敲诈彼得·杰
We are not blackmailing Peter J...
164
00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:33,730
够了
魔戒哪去了
All right, where's the ring?
165
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,030
你是说我的魔戒吗
You mean my ring?
166
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,130
你这是干嘛
What are you doing?
167
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,300
魔戒无人看护
The ring was unguarded.
168
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:40,060
就这么放着台面
It was just sitting on the table.
169
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,530
谁都能拿走
Anyone could have taken it.
170
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,460
证据
我拿了
Proof? I did.
171
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,030
-给我
-大家理智点
- Give me that. - Look, let's be reasonable.
172
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,400
我们都对魔戒抱有不同的想法
We all want to do different things with the ring,
173
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:51,330
但你们的想法太傻
我要的可是摩托艇
but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.
174
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,060
我找到的
魔戒是我的
I found it. The ring is mine.
175
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:56,400
我不明白
为啥每次都不能我说了算
I don't understand why in this group I never get my way.
176
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,960
有哪次不是你说了算
You always get your way.
177
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,260
你把魔戒给我
才是每次我说了算
I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.
178
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,430
各位
Hey, guys.
179
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,800
喜欢我给你们上的
Enjoying your food that I actually
180
00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,460
不是你们点的菜
brought you instead of promising food,
181
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,600
是我随意找的一堆垃圾
but bringing you a box of random crap?
182
00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:15,730
很好吃
Yeah, it's delicious.
183
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,560
就是讽刺的话不太新鲜
The sarcasm's a little stale, though.
184
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,860
要不这样吧
Hey, how about this?
185
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,730
确定如何处理魔戒前
Until we figure out what to do with the ring,
186
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,900
由佩妮来保管
Penny holds on to it.
187
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:23,800
什么戒指
What ring?
188
00:08:23,830 --> 00:08:25,960
这枚戒指
This ring.
189
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,130
在找东西吗
Looking for something?
190
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,660
你能保管几天吗
Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?
191
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,300
-为什么
-这是部电影的道具
- Why? - It's a prop from a movie,
192
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,260
我们正为此争吵呢
And we're kind of fighting over it.
193
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,960
只想说清楚
我男朋友给我的
Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelry
194
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,700
第一件珠宝是电影里的道具
my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie,
195
00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,200
而且我还不能拥有它
and I don't even get to keep it?
196
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,900
如果你三年前跟了我
If you had gone out with me three years ago,
197
00:08:44,930 --> 00:08:47,330
你现在应该能收到我姑婆艾达
by now, you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch
198
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,900
塞进猫肚子从德占比利时偷运出的胸针
that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.
199
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,200
现在感觉我还好吧
How am I looking now?
200
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,160
你打我
You hit me!
201
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,360
我在流血
I'm bleeding!
202
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,060
什么情况
What was that?
203
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,330
谢尔顿想偷魔戒
我给了他一拳
Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.
204
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:09,730
干得好
That's my girl.
205
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,060
谢尔顿啊
So, Sheldon,
206
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,460
被一个女人家揍的感觉如何
how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
207
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,260
反正不是第一次了
It's not the first time.
208
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:30,700
在子宫里我那胞姐就开始欺负我
I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.
209
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:34,830
如果当年我能一直坚定的吸收掉她
If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her,
210
00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,860
我也就多了一颗长毛的痣
then I'd have a mole with hair in it
211
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:40,300
这样也不会收到那些无聊的圣诞贺卡了
instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
212
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,660
先生们
你们还没有觉悟吗
Gentlemen, have you come to the realization
213
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,500
最明智的选择
that the only reasonable course of action
214
00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,300
就是卖了魔戒再分钱
is to sell the ring and divide the money?
215
00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:47,460
没门
No.
216
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,530
我就怕你这么说
I was afraid of that.
217
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,530
说吧
Go ahead.
218
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,160
在孟买问候大家
Greetings from Mumbai.
219
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,660
我是拉杰的律师
文卡塔斯·库萨帕里
I am Raj's attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.
220
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,700
也是我表哥
Also my cousin.
221
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,160
你居然还找了个律师
You brought a lawyer?
222
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,400
这个不用回答
Don't answer that.
223
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,560
我就直说了
I'll get straight to the point.
224
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,600
我的委托人准备放弃
My client's prepared to surrender
225
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,060
他在这枚魔戒上的一切利益
any interest he has in the ring
226
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,800
来交换两辆川崎水上摩托
in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.
227
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:12,830
两辆水上摩托是不可能的
We're not giving him two Jet Skis.
228
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:14,260
听着
大家都成年人了
Look, we're big boys,
229
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,960
我们何不都退一步海阔天空呢
why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?
230
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,400
一辆水上摩托就够了 怎么样
One Kawasaki Jet Ski. Done and done.
231
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,030
半辆都不给
No Jet Skis.
232
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,460
好吧
不谈水上摩托了
All right, forget the Jet Skis.
233
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,230
你说什么 这是我们的底线
Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand!
234
00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,130
你就这点招数吗
What happened to "tear them a new one?"
235
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,960
那你要我怎样 他们态度强硬 我们输了
What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.
236
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,300
你这没用的东西
You're useless.
237
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,130
你来雇我时我就说了
I told you that when you hired me.
238
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,600
我要下线了
I'm signing off now.
239
00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:42,760
记得联系你妈 她担心你呢
Call your mother. She worries.
240
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,940
知道吗 向别人介绍自己的律师表兄时
Okay, just so you know, if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,
241
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,630
要准备好被雷
prepare for shock and awe.
242
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,010
告诉你们
我来了结这件事
You know what? I am ending this.
243
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,320
佩妮不想再保管魔戒
Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.
244
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,190
她还给了我
现在我手上 我要寄回去
She gave it to me. I have it. I'm sending it back.
245
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:57,920
魔戒呢
Where's the ring?
246
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,390
你是指这个魔戒吗
You mean this ring?
247
00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:03,190
下次在公共厕所里排尿
Next time be aware of your surroundings
248
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,390
记得要耳听八方环顾四周
while urinating in a public men's room.
249
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,590
快给我
Give me that.
250
00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:07,620
才不
这是我的
No, it's mine.
251
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,560
我们都有份
It's all of ours.
252
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,560
-得了
这也太荒唐了
-那就放手
- Okay, now, this is ridiculous!
- Then let go!
253
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:13,920
偏不
你干嘛不放手
I'm not letting go. You let go.
254
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,390
要我说
谁坚持到最后
I say this ring belongs
255
00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:17,460
魔戒就归谁
to the last person who can hold on.
256
00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,660
行啊
我们回家再开始吗
Fine. But can't we go home and start this?
257
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:22,190
当然 那现在先放手
Sure. Let go of the ring.
258
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:24,720
好吧
那就从现在开始
All right, it starts now.
259
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,620
今晚科幻频道有巨虫电影联播
You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon
260
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,890
你们都还记得吧
tonight on the Syfy Channel.
261
00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:50,690
慢
我的笔记本还没拿
Wait, my laptop.
262
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,290
这也太白痴了
一点也没意义了
You know, there's a point no when this becomes idiotic.
263
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,560
刚我们这样开车的时候你咋不说
And it wasn't when we were driving like this?
264
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,790
我好心建议你们三个放弃吧
I would advise the three of you
265
00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,420
再怎么死撑也是徒劳
that resistance is futile.
266
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,090
我的耐性可是出了名的好
I have endless patience.
267
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,320
我曾和惠普的客服人员
I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold
268
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,320
耗了整整两个半小时
with Hewlett-Packard customer service
269
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,490
就为投诉他们客服态度差劲
just to complain about their customer service.
270
00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:24,990
你少和我吹嘘耐性
You want to talk about endless patience?
271
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,020
佩妮逼我看完了整整
Penny made me watch all five seasons
272
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,190
五季的《欲望都市》
of Sex and the City.
273
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,290
老兄
那玩意有六季
There are six seasons, dude.
274
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,460
噢
杯具
Oh, crap!
275
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960
别这么说嘛
第六季很赞啊
No, no, no, the sixth season is great.
276
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:43,020
凯莉刚分手
伤心地去了巴黎
We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken,
277
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,260
而大人物又突然出现
and then Mr. Big shows up,
278
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,260
我们都很好奇
她是否还能再相信他
we don't know if we can trust him again.
279
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,460
真是跨越地球的爱恋啊
It's a wild ride.
280
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,490
我要开门
Door.
281
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,720
同志们
屈膝[法语 芭蕾舞动作]
Okay, everybody, and plie?
282
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,920
再踮立[法语 芭蕾舞动作]
And releve?
283
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,890
你们干什么呢
Whatcha doin'?
284
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,660
谁坚持到最后
魔戒归谁
Last one holding the ring decides its fate.
285
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:21,890
我知道这很蠢
I know, it sounds silly.
286
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,820
才不会呢
你是我男友啊
No, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend.
287
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,860
情人眼里出西施嘛
Nothing you do is silly to me.
288
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:27,790
多谢
Thank you.
289
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:32,590
顺便说下
这可是维多利亚的秘密内衣
FYI-- this is a bag from Victoria's Secret.
290
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,690
老子不干了
I'm out.
291
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,260
抱歉
老妈
I'm sorry, Ma,
292
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,260
没办法
我要在办公室加班
I have to stay late at the office.
293
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,590
才没有
他在骗你
No, he's doesn't! He's lying to you!
294
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,390
你就不能消停点吗
Will you be quiet?
295
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,260
要隐私的话
放开手就行了啊
Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring.
296
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:04,090
真开心
I'm so glad
297
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,920
终于能来这家异教徒的脱衣舞俱乐部
we came to this gentile strip club!
298
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,160
霍华德
Howard,
299
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:11,690
再给你个培根
塞她们丁字裤里去
here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G-string!
300
00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,360
我再打给你
I'll call you back.
301
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,420
你实在太贴心了
还特地打电话
I think it's lovely you call your mommy
302
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,260
告诉你妈
你赶不回去吃晚饭
and let her know you're going to be late for dinner.
303
00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:20,520
据我所知
From what I know about these things,
304
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,390
没能按时喂奶的女人
if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time,
305
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,260
咪咪会很不舒服的
it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.
306
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:28,320
别跟我谈我妈的咪咪
Don't you talk about my mother's boobies!
307
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,960
听着不爽的话
放手啊
If you're offended, let go of the ring
308
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,490
赶紧回家找你妈吃奶去
and go on home to your mother's boobies.
309
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,060
太好了
太好了
Excellent, excellent.
310
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,860
你们俩耗吧
我就能笑到最后
Tire each other out, the ring will be mine.
311
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:38,620
霍华德
何不谈谈拉杰他妈
Howard, why don't you go after Raj's mother?
312
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:42,120
不然咱谈谈你妈
Why don't we go after your mother?
313
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,090
尽管谈
Go ahead.
314
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,220
我又没有恋母情结
I have no illusions about my mother.
315
00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:48,190
她就一个和蔼可亲
She is a kind, loving,
316
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:50,220
笃信上帝
极端右翼的德州人
religiously fanatical right-wing Texan
317
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,290
头长得有点不合比例
with a slightly out-of-scale head
318
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,620
还对佩珀汽水有点上瘾
and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.
319
00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:58,060
还有什么要补充的吗
Anything you'd like to add?
320
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,090
这样说根本没用
That's not gonna get you anywhere.
321
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,590
得给他来点狠的
Better pull out the big gun.
322
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:02,590
说得对
You're right.
323
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,820
咱来谈谈你祖母
Let's talk about your grandmother.
324
00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,590
不要
No!
325
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:09,160
不许说我奶奶
I call no