高中英语语法对话练习《生活大爆炸-第3季》中英双译16素材

　　生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕16

　　00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:08,990

　　[《星球大战V 克隆人战争》插曲]

　　"The Imperial March"

　　2

　　00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:22,850

　　您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗

　　Would you please turn your shirt off?

　　3

　　00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:23,860

　　那怎么行

　　What?

　　4

　　00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:25,680

　　我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐

　　I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music.

　　5

　　00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:28,390

　　这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我

　　People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.

　　6

　　00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:30,450

　　确实

　　Right.

　　7

　　00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,620

　　世上最惊悚的事莫过于

　　There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man

　　8

　　00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:35,740

　　有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出

　　who's got music blasting from between his nipples.

　　9

　　00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:39,040

　　斯图亚特

　　忙啥呢

　　Hey, Stuart, what's going on?

　　10

　　00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:41,810

　　你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了

　　Well, you might want to mark your Google calendars.

　　11

　　00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:44,670

　　斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会

　　Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.

　　12

　　00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,230

　　他的自传出续集了吗

　　Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?

　　13

　　00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,930

　　我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮

　　I'm sure ages 79 through 87 were just action-packed.

　　14

　　00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:53,920

　　没

　　就是普通的漫画签名罢了

　　No, just a regular comic signing.

　　15

　　00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:57,230

　　我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生 斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他

　　My uncle is his dermatologist and Stan's doing him a favor.

　　16

　　00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,680

　　你告诉我这些干嘛啊你

　　Oh, I don't want to know that!

　　17

　　00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:02,150

　　这下好了

　　我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论

　　How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee

　　18

　　00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,420

　　用银质冲浪板

　　the scientific foundations for interstellar flight

　　19

　　00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,520

　　来星际飞行的科学依据

　　on a silver surfboard

　　20

　　00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:08,060

　　一边逐行扫描他的脸

　　when part of my brain will be scanning his face

　　21

　　00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:10,350

　　以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹

　　for signs of contagious skin disease?

　　22

　　00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:15,000

　　斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病

　　Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.

　　23

　　00:01:15,010 --> 00:01:18,180

　　一边去

　　你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔

　　Well, look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.

　　24

　　00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:22,080

　　难以置信

　　我们要见到斯坦·李了

　　Can't believe it. We're going to meet Stan Lee!

　　25

　　00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:25,670

　　[《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲]

　　"I'm So Excited"

　　26

　　00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:34,660

　　我错了

　　我不该教他跳这舞的

　　I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.

　　27

　　00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,010

　　生活大爆炸

　　第三季第十六集

　　28

　　00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,320

　　我实在无法取舍 究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在

　　I can't decicide whether I want Stan Lee to autograph

　　29

　　00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:09,270

　　托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上

　　my Journey into Mystery 83, first appearance of Thor

　　30

　　00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:13,500

　　还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上 死亡博士的处女秀

　　or my Fantastic Four number five, first appearance of Dr. Doom.

　　31

　　00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:17,220

　　[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目

　　思考时的音乐

　　节目的主题曲]

　　(Jeopardy theme song playing)

　　32

　　00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,150

　　阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持)

　　我选的答案是

　　Alex, I'm going to go with what is...

　　33

　　00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,660

　　你是个傻帽

　　you're a dumbass?

　　34

　　00:02:32,390 --> 00:02:35,680

　　我决定让斯坦·李把名签在

　　I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy

　　35

　　00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,710

　　这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上

　　of this month's Batman.

　　36

　　00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,150

　　有病吧你

　　That's crazy.

　　37

　　00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,950

　　蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品[竞争对手]

　　Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.

　　38

　　00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,480

　　对啊

　　所以其他人不会让他签这个

　　Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,

　　39

　　00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:44,810

　　于是我就会拥有一件

　　and I will be the possessor of

　　40

　　00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:46,480

　　虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝

　　a unique, albeit confusing, artifact,

　　41

　　00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,230

　　我从此就和那群芸芸

　　which will set me apart

　　42

　　00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,360

　　漫画迷不再是一个级别的了

　　from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.

　　43

　　00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:52,950

　　这点子不错

　　That's a great idea.

　　44

　　00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,150

　　我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去

　　I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.

　　45

　　00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,320

　　你对独一无二这个词很难理解么

　　What is it about the word "unique" you don't understand?

　　46

　　00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:02,310

　　靠

　　手被纸片划破了

　　Damn, paper cut.

　　47

　　00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,610

　　被纸割伤最痛苦了

　　Nothing worse than a paper cut.

　　48

　　00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:07,120

　　你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式]

　　Well, obviously you don't remember your circumcision.

　　49

　　00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,710

　　上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴

　　There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.

　　50

　　00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,980

　　这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗

　　Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?

　　51

　　00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,410

　　卫生间里有

　　还有厨房里

　　He does. And in the kitchen.

　　52

　　00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:18,680

　　还有车里

　　再加上他口袋里

　　And in the car. And in his pocket.

　　53

　　00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:21,460

　　没错

　　但我口袋里的可不给别人用

　　Yeah, but the ones in my pocket are mine.

　　54

　　00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:24,410

　　-嗨

　　-嘿

　　- Hi!

　　- Hey.

　　55

　　00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:24,930

　　猜猜看

　　Guess who's going to be

　　56

　　00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,310

　　周四谁会去漫画店

　　at the comic bookstore on Thursday?

　　57

　　00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,110

　　呃

　　给点提示吧

　　Um... can you give me a hint?

　　58

　　00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,910

　　斯坦·李

　　Stan Lee.

　　59

　　00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,880

　　噢

　　斯坦利

　　Um... Stanley...

　　60

　　00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:34,150

　　斯坦利·图奇?[著名演员]

　　Stanley... Stanley Tucci?

　　61

　　00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,650

　　不是

　　No.

　　62

　　00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:38,010

　　是斯坦·李

　　No, Stan... Lee.

　　63

　　00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:40,480

　　哦

　　斯坦·李嘛

　　Oh, oh, Stan Lee!

　　64

　　00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:43,350

　　不错嘛

　　Cool!

　　65

　　00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,750

　　你根本不知道他是谁吧

　　You have no idea who he is, do you?

　　66

　　00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,780

　　谁说的

　　我当然知道

　　Of course I do.

　　67

　　00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,610

　　你是我生命中的重要的一部分

　　You're an important part of my life

　　68

　　00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,110

　　我自然会爱屋及乌啦

　　and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.

　　69

　　00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,780

　　是嘛

　　好啊

　　Oh, good.

　　70

　　00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,180

　　好极了

　　Good.

　　71

　　00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,380

　　那你说说

　　斯坦·李是谁

　　So, who's Stan Lee?

　　72

　　00:03:56,390 --> 00:04:00,160

　　星际迷航里的

　　Um... he was on Star Trek.

　　73

　　00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:04,410

　　猜错了

　　Nope.

　　74

　　00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:06,410

　　-那就星球大战

　　-又错

　　- Star Wars?

　　- No.

　　75

　　00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,280

　　呃

　　斯坦·李

　　Um... uh, Stan Lee.

　　76

　　00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,440

　　我知道了

　　Ooh, he was in those

　　77

　　00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,750

　　是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的

　　goofy kung fu movies you love so much?

　　78

　　00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,350

　　那是李小龙

　　That's Bruce Lee.

　　79

　　00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,550

　　啊哦

　　Oh.

　　80

　　00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,760

　　那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?

　　So, is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother, Stan?

　　81

　　00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,080

　　谢尔顿

　　你抽屉怎么有那么多

　　Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened

　　82

　　00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:23,850

　　没拆封的薪水支票

　　paychecks in your desk?

　　83

　　00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,880

　　因为我想买的东西

　　Because most of the things I'm planning to buy

　　84

　　00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,480

　　市面上基本上都没有

　　haven't been invented yet.

　　85

　　00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,210

　　这儿得有好几千块了吧

　　There-there must be thousands of dollars here.

　　86

　　00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,880

　　你干嘛不存银行里

　　Why don't you put it in the bank?

　　87

　　00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:34,380

　　鬼才相信银行

　　I don't trust banks.

　　88

　　00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:36,180

　　我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了

　　I believe that when the robots rise up,

　　89

　　00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:39,190

　　自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖

　　ATMs will lead the charge.

　　90

　　00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:43,480

　　这儿还有一封 帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西

　　You've also got something from the Pasadena Municipal Court.

　　91

　　00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:47,980

　　肯定又是回信来鄙视我 之前寄去的几封信里

　　Undoubtedly another snide response to my repeated letters complaining

　　92

　　00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:51,010

　　投诉了法院门口的旗子 次序是错误的

　　that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order.

　　93

　　00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:53,940

　　按照从左到右的顺序 应该先是联邦旗

　　州旗

　　From left to right, it's supposed to be federal, state,

　　94

　　00:04:53,950 --> 00:04:55,250

　　最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗

　　and then city of Pasadena.

　　95

　　00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:58,760

　　打断一下

　　你为此寄了好几封信过去

　　I'm sorry. You sent more than one letter about that?

　　96

　　00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,320

　　它们看着太碍眼了

　　It bothers me.

　　97

　　00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,880

　　谢尔顿

　　这是封传票

　　Sheldon, this is a summons.

　　98

　　00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,550

　　什么的传票

　　A summons for what?

　　99

　　00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,050

　　信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯

　　Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue

　　100

　　00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:13,480

　　时间是11月16号晚上9点半

　　at 9:30 p.m. on November 16.

　　101

　　00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:14,710

　　你被路边的摄像头拍下来了

　　They got you on a traffic camera.

　　102

　　00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,160

　　挺上镜嘛

　　Nice picture.

　　103

　　00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:23,380

　　11月16号

　　November 16?

　　104

　　00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,880

　　佩妮

　　那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒

　　Penny, that's the evening you fell in your bathtub

　　105

　　00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,980

　　然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗

　　and I had to drive you to the emergency room.

　　106

　　00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,380

　　不是

　　No, it isn't.

　　107

　　00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:31,080

　　就是

　　Yes, it is.

　　108

　　00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:32,710

　　就不是

　　No, it isn't.

　　109

　　00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,310

　　佩妮

　　我记得很清楚

　　Penny, I have an eidetic memory.

　　110

　　00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,450

　　而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上

　　Also, that's a picture of you in the passenger seat

　　111

　　00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,010

　　托着你那脱臼的肩膀

　　holding your dislocated shoulder.

　　112

　　00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,860

　　才不是呢

　　Mmm, no, it isn't.

　　113

　　00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:45,510

　　好吧

　　那为啥传票上违反交规的

　　Okay, then why is a summons for a traffic violation

　　114

　　00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,010

　　是你的车

　　而且挂着你的车牌

　　committed in your car, bearing your license plates,

　　115

　　00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,290

　　却寄来我这儿了

　　coming to me?

　　116

　　00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,480

　　好吧

　　他们给我发了传票

　　Okay, look, they sent me the ticket.

　　117

　　00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,710

　　我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车

　　I told them I wasn't driving

　　118

　　00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,550

　　然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"

　　and they were all, "If it wasn't you, who was it?"

　　119

　　00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,580

　　于是你就把我出卖了

　　So you betrayed me?

　　120

　　00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:02,750

　　才没有

　　No!

　　121

　　00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,210

　　这哪是出卖

　　It wasn't a betrayal.

　　122

　　00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:06,910

　　我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"

　　It was more of a "I can't afford any more points on my license."

　　123

　　00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,250

　　我已经不得不

　　I already have to buy my insurance

　　124

　　00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:10,710

　　去开曼群岛上买车险了

　　from this place in the Cayman Islands.

　　125

　　00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,250

　　但我之所以开你的车还不是因为

　　But the only reason I was driving your car

　　126

　　00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:16,060

　　你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手

　　was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.

　　127

　　00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:20,960

　　你有张照片记录英勇的一天

　　Yes,you have a photo to remember that heroic day.

　　128

　　00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:23,190

　　没什么大不了的

　　It's not that big a deal.

　　129

　　00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,420

　　你只要周四去法院

　　You just go down to the court on Thursday

　　130

　　00:06:25,430 --> 00:06:26,620

　　交罚金就行

　　and you pay the fine.

　　131

　　00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:28,460

　　我才不去交罚金

　　I'm not going to pay a fine.

　　132

　　00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,860

　　那就说明我有罪

　　That would imply I'm guilty.

　　133

　　00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:32,420

　　你确实有罪

　　You are guilty.

　　134

　　00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:35,430

　　[《法律与秩序》的主题曲]

　　135

　　00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:39,270

　　这个我喜欢

　　That one I liked.

　　136

　　00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,220

　　我是无罪的

　　I am not guilty.

　　137

　　00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,520

　　我只有实习驾照

　　I only have a learner's permit.

　　138

　　00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:44,960

　　佩妮教我的

　　Penny was the teacher.

　　139

　　00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,890

　　转黄灯时

　　她就说"快快快"

　　When the light turned yellow she said "Go, go, go."

　　140

　　00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,590

　　于是我就"开开开"

　　So I went, went, went.

　　141

　　00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,720

　　谢尔顿

　　对不起

　　Sheldon, I'm sorry.

　　142

　　00:06:50,730 --> 00:06:52,620

　　我会还你罚金的钱

　　I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.

　　143

　　00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:56,460

　　只要我能参演一部电影 或者自己拍个电视剧

　　You know, as soon as I get a part in a movie or my own TV series.

　　144

　　00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:58,890

　　不用你还

　　因为我不会交的

　　You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.

　　145

　　00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:02,960

　　周四那天

　　我会去法院 正义会得到伸张

　　On Thursday, I will have my day in court and justice will be done.

　　146

　　00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:06,470

　　我现在就着手准备辩护

　　In fact, I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.

　　147

　　00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:10,260

　　他坐定牢了

　　Okay, he's going to jail.

　　148

　　00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:15,070

　　对哦 周四是斯坦·李签名日

　　Oh, that's right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day.

　　149

　　00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,070

　　看到你做的好事了吧

　　Now you see what you've done?

　　150

　　00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,530

　　就因为你

　　我们都见不到斯坦·李了

　　Because of you, we're all going to miss Stan Lee.

　　151

　　00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,960

　　你说"都"是什么意思

　　What do you mean "all?"

　　152

　　00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,790

　　你们是我朋友啊

　　Well, you're my friends.

　　153

　　00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,790

　　你们要站在我旁边

　　支持我 为我提供案例

　　You'll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents,

　　154

　　00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,460

　　你们上身要是够壮

　　and if you had the upper body strength,

　　155

　　00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:39,130

　　我胜诉时

　　可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去

　　carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.

　　156

　　00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:42,090

　　这个嘛

　　不行

　　Yeah, okay. No.

　　157

　　00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,160

　　你是说我为自己辩护时

　　Are you saying that you will not stand beside me

　　158

　　00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:45,620

　　你不会来站在我身边吗

　　as I plead my case?

　　159

　　00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,660

　　是这个意思

　　That's what I'm saying.

　　160

　　00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:49,570

　　霍华德

　　Howard?

　　161

　　00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:53,120

　　斯坦·李

　　法庭上的你

　　Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court.

　　162

　　00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:55,190

　　要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单

　　Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice

　　163

　　00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,190

　　电影就不会那么长了

　　不行

　　it would've been a much shorter movie. No.

　　164

　　00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,930

　　拉杰 你会来吧

　　Raj? You'll be there, won't you?

　　165

　　00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:08,090

　　那好吧 我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我

　　All right, then. My so-called friends have forsaken me.

　　166

　　00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:11,520

　　看来只剩我和目击证人了

　　So, I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.

　　167

　　00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:15,020

　　晕死

　　Oh, balls.

　　168

　　00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,260

　　请着装得体一点

　　Please try to wear something appropriate.

　　169

　　00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:17,790

　　要是法官只顾着想

　　It won't help my case

　　170

　　00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,490

　　你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思

　　if the judge is busy trying to read the word "Juicy"

　　171

　　00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,530

　　对我的案子没好处

　　scrawled across your buttocks.

　　172

　　00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:28,960

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　173

　　00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:30,320

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　174

　　00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,830

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　175

　　00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:35,790

　　节奏不对

　　That's just wrong.

　　176

　　00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,520

　　好了

　　走吧

　　All right, let's go.

　　177

　　00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:40,260

　　等一下 去法院之前

　　Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse,

　　178

　　00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,220

　　我想看一下你的演技

　　I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.

　　179

　　00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,520

　　这是什么

　　What is this?

　　180

　　00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:45,690

　　我冒昧地

　　I've taken the liberty

　　181

　　00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,660

　　为你起草了出庭作证的剧本

　　of scripting your appearance on the witness stand

　　182

　　00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:50,060

　　面对现实

　　你有点我行我素

　　because, let's face it, you're somewhat of a loose cannon.

　　183

　　00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:52,520

　　别担心

　　都是用你的方言写的

　　Now, don't worry; it's written in your vernacular.

　　184

　　00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:53,990

　　我们排练一下如何

　　So shall we rehearse?

　　185

　　00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,160

　　我有得选吗

　　Do I have a choice?

　　186

　　00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:56,820

　　你当然有选择权

　　Well, of course you have a choice.

　　187

　　00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,320

　　虽然我们生活在宿命里

　　Although we live in a deterministic universe,

　　188

　　00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,760

　　但每个人都有自由选择的权力

　　each individual has free will.

　　189

　　00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:02,790

　　给我坐下

　　Now, sit down.

　　190

　　00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,590

　　请你回忆下 11月16日发生的事

　　I call your attention to the events of November 16.

　　191

　　00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,060

　　你记得那天吗

　　Do you remember that date?

　　192

　　00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:13,030

　　废话

　　我记得

　　"Darn tootin', I do.

　　193

　　00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,290

　　请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加

　　"If the court will excuse my homespun,

　　194

　　00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,020

　　粗俗简朴的语言

　　corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase."

　　195

　　00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,190

　　很好

　　继续

　　Excellent. Go on.

　　196

　　00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,720

　　我记得那天

　　"The reason that date is, like,

　　197

　　00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,260

　　而且铭记在我的脑子里

　　"so totally fixed in my memory

　　198

　　00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,090

　　是因为我有幸目睹了

　　"is that I had the privilege to be witness

　　199

　　00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:32,130

　　毕生从未见过的英勇行为

　　to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in, like, ever."

　　200

　　00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,790

　　谁的英勇行为

　　"And who performed that heroic act?"

　　201

　　00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,460

　　您的啊

　　阁下

　　"Why, you did, sir.

　　202

　　00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:40,790

　　您

　　谢尔顿·库珀博士

　　"You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

　　203

　　00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,300

　　而且我想说

　　我很荣幸认识您

　　And may I add, it is a privilege to know you."

　　204

　　00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,990

　　不必称赞我

　　"There's no need for compliments.

　　205

　　00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,020

　　法庭只看重事实

　　This court is only interested in the facts."

　　206

　　00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:52,820

　　但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊

　　"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.

　　207

　　00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:55,330

　　真的

　　Totally."

　　208

　　00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,690

　　一滴泪从我面颊流下

　　A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!

　　209

　　00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,190

　　纯属建议

　　Only a suggestion.

　　210

　　00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,130

　　喉咙哽咽一下也可以

　　A catch in your throat would work just as well.

　　211

　　00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:07,690

　　但我感觉

　　"But it is a fact

　　212

　　00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,320

　　很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊

　　"that it's a privilege to know you.

　　213

　　00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,830

　　真的

　　Totally."

　　214

　　00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,030

　　你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧

　　Maybe you should put on your "Juicy" pants again.

　　215

　　00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:22,690

　　去交罚金

　　Pay the cashier.

　　216

　　00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,970

　　谢尔顿·库珀

　　Sheldon Cooper.

　　217

　　00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,820

　　早上好

　　法官大人

　　Good morning, Your Honor.

　　218

　　00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:33,190

　　我是谢尔顿·库珀博士 自我辩护

　　Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se.

　　219

　　00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,390

　　也就是说

　　代表我自己

　　That is to say, representing himself.

　　220

　　00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,790

　　我知道什么意思

　　I know what it means.

　　221

　　00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,160

　　我读过法律学校

　　I went to law school.

　　222

　　00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,100

　　结果却在审理交通法庭

　　And yet you wound up in traffic court.

　　223

　　00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,390

　　不管怎样

　　Anyway,

　　224

　　00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,860

　　法官允许的话

　　if it would please the court,

　　225

　　00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:46,190

　　我想做个开庭陈述

　　I'd like to begin with an opening statement.

　　226

　　00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,920

　　法官会建议你简短点

　　The court would advise you to make it quick,

　　227

　　00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,660

　　因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼

　　as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning

　　228

　　00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,900

　　而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药)

　　and just took an Imodium.

　　229

　　00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:57,960

　　快速的开场陈述

　　A quick opening statement.

　　230

　　00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:02,920

　　如同一个挤奶凳 本案有三个 立足点

　　Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs.

　　231

　　00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,390

　　我要论证的是

　　I will demonstrate

　　232

　　00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,220

　　我在驾驶过程中

　　受到一个女人的误导

　　that I was improperly instructed in driving

　　233

　　00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,590

　　这个女人缺乏社会上

　　by a woman whose lack of respect for society

　　234

　　00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,020

　　对反社会界定的基本认识

　　borders on the sociopathic.

　　235

　　00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:12,020

　　我要争辩的是

　　I will argue

　　236

　　00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:14,490

　　紧急情况下的法律原理

　　that the emergency met the legal doctrine

　　237

　　00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,490

　　是需要即合法[拉丁文]

　　of quod est necessarium est licitum--

　　238

　　00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,690

　　也就是需要即合法

　　that which is necessary is legal.

　　239

　　00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:19,960

　　但首先

　　But first,

　　240

　　00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,920

　　我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案]

　　I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.

　　241

　　00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,360

　　我无法与控方对峙

　　I'm unable to confront my accuser,

　　242

　　00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:26,320

　　因为控方是一台非人类机器

　　a non-human entity, to wit,

　　243

　　00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,690

　　也就是摄像机

　　a camera.

　　244

　　00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,020

　　所以

　　综上所述

　　So, to sum up:

　　245

　　00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:30,190

　　错误指导

　　improper instruction;

　　246

　　00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,060

　　加上"需要即合法"的原理

　　quod est necessarium est licitum;

　　247

　　00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:33,290

　　还有第六条修正案

　　Sixth Amendment.

　　248

　　00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,220

　　我的挤奶凳辨述完毕

　　My milk stool is complete.

　　249

　　00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:36,460

　　佩服佩服

　　Impressive.

　　250

　　00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:37,120

　　谢谢

　　Thank you.

　　251

　　00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,020

　　罪名成立

　　Guilty.

　　252

　　00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,060

　　去付钱吧

　　Pay the cashier.

　　253

　　00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,460

　　我反对

　　I object.

　　254

　　00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,220

　　你这是在无视法律

　　You're completely ignoring the law.

　　255

　　00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:44,960

　　不

　　我遵守法律

　　No, I'm following the law.

　　256

　　00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,720

　　只是在无视你

　　I'm ignoring you.

　　257

　　00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,320

　　是吗

　　Really?

　　258

　　00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:51,520

　　提醒你一下

　　我可是业内顶尖人士

　　I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,

　　259

　　00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:54,700

　　你却坐在桌子后面过家家

　　while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.

　　260

　　00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,520

　　库珀博士

　　我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉

　　Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt

　　261

　　00:11:57,530 --> 00:12:00,620

　　不然我要视你为蔑视法庭

　　and throw you in jail, I'm going to give you a chance

　　262

　　00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:02,390

　　把你扔进监狱

　　to apologize for that last remark.

　　263

　　00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,060

　　我可是个科学家

　　I am a scientist.

　　264

　　00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:06,800

　　我才不会为陈述事实而道歉

　　I never apologize for the truth.

　　265

　　00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,430

　　那是我的位置

　　That's my spot.

　　266

　　00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,980

　　我等不及要问斯坦·李

　　I can't wait to ask Stan Lee

　　267

　　00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:29,250

　　为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名

　　why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names

　　268

　　00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,980

　　开头字母都是一样的

　　that start with the same letter.

　　269

　　00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:33,310

　　得了

　　你真是十万个为什么[以下均为惊奇漫画人物]

　　Oh, come on. Why would you do that?

　　270

　　00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,380

　　布鲁斯·班纳

　　里德·理查

　　Bruce Banner, Reed Richards,

　　271

　　00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,380

　　分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》

　　272

　　00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,050

　　苏珊·斯汤

　　斯蒂芬·史催博士

　　Sue Storm, Stephen Strange,

　　273

　　00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,050

　　分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》

　　后者为惊奇的系列漫画

　　274

　　00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,750

　　奥拓·八爪博士和银影侠

　　Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer,

　　275

　　00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,750

　　分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》

　　276

　　00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,910

　　彼得·帕克

　　还有最夸张的

　　Peter Parker, oh, and worst of all,

　　277

　　00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,910

　　出自《蜘蛛侠》

　　278

　　00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,680

　　小约翰·约拿·詹姆森

　　J. Jonah Jameson, Jr.

　　279

　　00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,680

　　出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》

　　280

　　00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:47,550

　　好吧

　　我要插在你前面

　　Okay, I'm cutting.

　　281

　　00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:51,280

　　免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃

　　I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off.

　　282

　　00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:53,920

　　《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声

　　"Spider-Man" theme ringtone playing

　　283

　　00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,110

　　嗨

　　Hey.

　　284

　　00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,510

　　谢尔顿进了监狱

　　Sheldon's in jail.

　　285

　　00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,810

　　啥

　　谢尔顿进了监狱?!

　　Sheldon's in jail?!

　　286

　　00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:03,250

　　被你说中了

　　You called it.

　　287

　　00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,850

　　-怎么搞的

　　-你觉得呢

　　- For what?

　　- What do you think?

　　288

　　00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,950

　　就是他平时一贯的找抽风格

　　For doing the same crap he always does,

　　289

　　00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,350

　　只不过法官不吃这一套

　　except to a judge.

　　290

　　00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,210

　　他不道歉就出不来

　　He has to stay in there until he apologizes.

　　291

　　00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:13,250

　　那就让他道歉啊

　　So tell him to apologize.

　　292

　　00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,480

　　多谢提醒

　　莱纳德 你以为我没想过吗

　　Oh, gee, thanks, Leonard. That didn't occur to me.

　　293

　　00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:18,150

　　如果他五点前还不道歉

　　If he doesn't apologize by 5:00,

　　294

　　00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,080

　　就得在监狱里过夜了

　　he is going to spend the night in jail.

　　295

　　00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,550

　　哦不

　　真是糟糕

　　Oh, no, that's terrible.

　　296

　　00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,790

　　哇

　　队伍动了

　　挂了

　　回见

　　Ooh, the line's moving. Got to go. Bye.

　　297

　　00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:36,150

　　有人吗

　　Excuse me?

　　298

　　00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,890

　　狱卒在吗

　　Excuse me, jailor?

　　299

　　00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:39,810

　　咋了

　　What?

　　300

　　00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,580

　　我要上厕所

　　I need to use the restroom.

　　301

　　00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:43,720

　　在那边

　　自便

　　Knock yourself out.

　　302

　　00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:48,450

　　这算是马桶?

　　That's the toilet?

　　303

　　00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,890

　　不然你以为是许愿池吗

　　Well, it ain't a wishing well.

　　304

　　00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:55,290

　　请转告法官

　　我准备向他道歉

　　Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

　　305

　　00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:59,510

　　看啊

　　Look at that.

　　306

　　00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,580

　　"致吾友

　　莱纳德

　　"To my friend, Leonard.

　　307

　　00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,860

　　独行侠

　　斯坦·李"

　　From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"

　　308

　　00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,860

　　惊奇漫画的一个系列

　　后改称Loners

　　309

　　00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:06,050

　　牛逼

　　Awesome.

　　310

　　00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:09,080

　　我上面写的是

　　"致吾友

　　霍华德"

　　Mine says, "To my friend, Howard.

　　311

　　00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:12,160

　　独行侠

　　斯坦·李

　　From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"

　　312

　　00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:16,620

　　我上面写的是

　　"致拉杰

　　斯坦·李"

　　Mine says, "To Raj, from Stan Lee."

　　313

　　00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,780

　　因为你纠结他的角色名

　　把他惹毛了

　　That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.

　　314

　　00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,180

　　搞毛

　　Hey,

　　315

　　00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:27,050

　　我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔

　　I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,

　　316

　　00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:27,050

　　前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员

　　后者出自《蜘蛛侠》

　　317

　　00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:28,710

　　马特·默多克和小辣椒波兹

　　Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts,

　　318

　　00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:28,710

　　分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》

　　319

　　00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,280

　　末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》]

　　Victor Von Doom,

　　320

　　00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:32,280

　　还有最夸张的

　　oh, and worst of all,

　　321

　　00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,750

　　米莉模特(惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列)

　　Millie the Model.

　　322

　　00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,610

　　我们回来了

　　We're home.

　　323

　　00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,450

　　伙计

　　情况如何

　　Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?

　　324

　　00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,450

　　你明明都知道了还问个屁

　　You know very well how it went.

　　325

　　00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:43,920

　　是啊

　　但我们想听你亲口说

　　Yeah, but we all want to hear it from you.

　　326

　　00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,480

　　我被判有罪

　　还被罚了533美元

　　I was found guilty and fined $533.

　　327

　　00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:50,850

　　我会写张支票给你

　　I'm going to write you a check for that.

　　328

　　00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:52,850

　　只要你答应我藏在抽屉里