2017届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义(北师大版):写作(十九)
李华在校学习成绩很好。他做完作业后喜欢看电视。他的父亲不允许他看电视,怕李华会因看电视而影响功课。李华却不这么认为。
学生习作·外教批改
Li Hua is one of the top students in his school.He likes watching TV,but his fatherdisagrees1 disapproves for fear that it would2 will make his study3 studies suffer.However,Li Hua holds a different view.
He insists that watching TV shouldn’t be banned completely.He thinks4 believes that he won’t get addicted to it.If one5 he can cope_with balance his study studies in_harmony with entertainment in_a_proper_way6 ,his study grades won’t be affected at all.
It is also his belief that TV can even benefit him a lot.It_can_not_only7 Not only can it keep him informed about the8
national and international current affairs,but it can also provide profound knowledge,thus broadening his horizons.
What Li Hua believes is that TV itself is not a bad thing as long as people who watch it don’t abandon themselves to it.Therefore,he intends to have_a_word9 talk with his father to convey his ideas.
,旁 批
1.disagree不能用来描述某人的行为,应该用disapprove(不赞成)。
2.这是真实条件句,因此要用will而不是would。
3.他在学习不止一门学科,因此这里应该用studies而不是study。
4.在本句中,think暗示他不肯定,believe更恰当,可以表示他肯定自己不会沉溺于看电视。
5.one是一个非常正式的词,现在不常用。如果用one,整个句子其他部分应与其保持一致。由于句子的其余部分都使用了he,那么整个句子应该与he保持一致。
6.这里只要说cope(妥善地处理)就足够了。如果他妥善处理(copes),那么就一定是以恰当的方式(the proper way)去做。
7.改过之后的词序更好,以免与cannot混淆。
8.用the多余。
9.这是一个很好的短语,但是用在这里不太合适,因为何平是晚辈。如果父亲和儿子说话用have a word是可以的,但反之就不礼貌。这里可以改写成He intends to talk with his father...。这是一篇非常优秀的作文。作者完全回答了题目的要求,并且使用了许多对这个程度的学生来说较为复杂的句型结
构和极好的词汇,如profound,broaden horizons,abandon,intend,harmony,banned,insist等。只是你应该在使用一个单词之前确定自己理解它的确切 高分作文秘诀之十二:使用正确的标点符号。例如:
Instead of (不要说:)I believe with my hard work my dream to become a biologist will come true.
Use (要说:)I believe,with my hard work,my dream to become a biologist will come true.
Instead of (不要说:)Although I am good at maths.I like English very much.
Use (要说:)Although I am good at maths,I like English very much.
Instead of (不要说:)He is a good-looking tall muscular man.
Use (要说:)He is a good-looking,tall,muscular man.
你所在的城市每年在元宵节夜晚都会举办一场大约30分钟的焰火晚会,耗资达150万元,市民对此议论纷纷。下表是某报对市民进行调查的结果:不同的观点
原因
32%赞成
1.推动消费,促进经济发展2.增加节日气氛,给市民带来娱乐
68%不赞成
1.城市建设不完善,需要资金投入2.造成空气污染,对环境有害
请结合表格内容以“Is it wise to celebrate the Lantern Festival with fireworks?”为题写一篇120词左右的英语短文。
___________________________________________________________________________
参考范文:
Is it wise to celebrate the Lantern Festival with fireworks?
In my city,there is an annual firework display on the night of the Lantern Festival.The citizens have different opinions about it.
According to a recent survey,32% of the citizens approve of setting off fireworks to celebrate the festival.They say the production of fireworks helps increase consumption and promotes economic growth.And the display offers relaxation and excitement to the citizens,which improves the festival atmosphere.
However,other 68% disagree.For one thing,it’s a waste of money.The firework display lasts only 30 minutes,yet it costs about 1.5 million yuan,which can be used for the city construction.For another,while the fireworks are beautiful to look at,they cause air pollution,which is bad to the environment.
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