第三部分 写作技能培优 第三部分 写作技能培优 第三部分 写作技能培优 第三部分 写作技能培优 第三部分 写作技能培优 第四讲 巧妙遣词造句，实现升级策略 (2016·高考新课标全国卷Ⅱ)一家英语报社向中学生征文,主题是“十年后的我”。请根据下列要点和你的畅想完成短文。 1．家庭； 2．工作； 3．业余生活。 注意：1.词数100左右； 2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯； 3．开头语已为你写好。 I often imagine what my life will be like in the future. _____________________________________________________ 满分作文： _______________________________________________would like to give an excellent picture of my future life(很好地描绘我未来的生活) in ten years.To begin with(首先)，I will make every effort to take good care of my family，especially my aged grandfather because he has _________________________________________________①(奉献大部分生活养育两代人)．_________work is concerned (就工作而言)，I
am determined to become a film - maker②____________ (那种情况下)，I shall direct many good movies for the audience.During holiday seasons，I will live in the
I often imagine what my life will be like in the future. devoted most of his life to bringing up two generations As far as In that case countryside，_________________________________________③(在那里空气新鲜，人们友善)．I will enjoy so many interesting activities，____________ (例如) fishing, swimming and visiting old friends. Such will be my future life，one I have been _____________ ④(梦想)． where air is fresh and people are friendly such as dreaming of 温馨提示1.巧用词汇，give an excellent picture of，to begin with，devote...to；bring up；As far as work is concerned，in that case；such as；dream of 2．①该句是一个含原因状语从句的复合句，逻辑严密，用词准确，语义连贯。 ②As far as work...is concerned的运用使句子紧凑。 ③定语从句的使用，符合评分标准对复杂句式的要求。 ④倒装句和定语从句巧妙结合，与首句相呼应，体现了语篇的完整性。 一、遣词方面： 1．措辞要贴切具体 试比较下面句子：一个人正在街上闲逛。 A man is walking down the street. A man is wandering down the street. 通过比较可以看出，前一句不如后一句表达得具体、生动。一个词如果内涵越具体，那么在特定的场景中恰当地使用它,就会收到意想不到的效果。 2．要善于运用短语 短语用得好，会给评卷老师留下深刻印象。例如： When he was a child，he wanted to learn everything.(普通) When he was a child，he had a strong appetite(胃口)for knowledge.(高级) 二、造句方面： 1．巧用非谓语动词 运用非谓语动词，可使文句看起来更简洁，使语言更加丰富多彩，重点更加突出，增加文采。 I covered my ears，trying to keep the noise out，but failed. 2．巧用with复合结构 “with＋名词/代词＋现在分词/过去分词/形容词/副词/介词”结构，常作伴随状语以增加被描绘内容的生动性和情感性，使文章读起来更简洁明了。试比较： He slept all the night and the window was open.(一般) He slept all the night with the window open.(高级) 3．巧用复合句 评分标准中强调使用语法结构的数量和复杂性，鼓励考生尽量使用较复杂的结构，并且对由此产生的错误采取了宽容的态度。如果恰当运用各类从句，就会增加文章的亮点。 Soon I became one of the top students in my class，which greatly increased my confidence and got me motivated.(定语从句) 4．巧用倒装句、感叹句、强调句、虚拟语气句等 使用这些句式可使文章化平淡为生动，加强语气，使评卷老师感受作者的强烈情感，起到升级文章的作用。 Disappointed as I felt at the shabby campus and the poorly equipped classroom，I found the teachers patient and considerate.(倒装句) 5．巧用排比等句式 如能运用一个个排比句、对偶句、不定式或短语，可使文章增色不少，会给评卷老师眼前一亮的感觉。 The purpose of the program is to make our school more beautiful，to make the air cleaner and fresher，and to turn our school into a better place for us to study and live in. 亮点词句： _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ full of warmth，love and laughter；show concern for；If；is more likely to be；Otherwise；Meanwhile；are sure to；Since；plays a very important role in；it is up to；contribute to；First of all；pay more attention to；Besides；communicate with；As；If we do so Ⅱ.巧用遣词造句，升级下面文章 留意一下我们的周边，可以发现陪读现象很普遍。请你根据以下要点写一篇短文，内容应包括： 1．简要描述陪读现象； 2．分析父母陪读的原因(2至3个)； 3．发表你对此的看法。 注意：1.词数：120～150； 2．标题已给出，不计入总词数。 Should Our Parents Accompany Us in Studying at School _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ In recent years，many parents choose to accompany their children in studying，which has aroused a wide concern. These parents are willing to leave their hometown，even quit their jobs to follow their children into the campus.Most of them rent an apartment nearby so as to take good care of their children. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Parents consider it necessary to offer a better living condition to their children.Meanwhile，it enables them to keep track of their children’s academic performance. Nevertheless，what they have ignored is that it will get their kids into the habit of being dependent.Thus，they will never develop the ability of self-control in the future. Trust leads to independence.So it seems to me parents should create room for children’s
growth and study in order to ensure their overall development.