2016届高考英语二轮复习书面表达复习专题08 健康饮食话题指导
实例指导1――学生如何饮食
【写作任务】
写好此种类型的作文要掌握一定的方法，注意行文的结构。
【学生习作】
Nowadays, ①there are more and more students get fatter and fatter, and ②two fifth of them belong to the group of overweight students. In terms of beauty and health they all hope to lose weight. Anyway, they should have a balanced diet.
As we all know, it's very important for us to form healthy eating ③habbits. However, some of us usually go to school without breakfast; some are fond of soft drinks and sweet food rather than nutritious food; others are particular about food and still some eat or drink too much at a time. All those lifestyles do great harm to our health. Therefore, we should have a balanced diet including vegetables and fruits, which is good to our health. What's more, we'd better have meals regularly.
As far as I'm concerned, we should develop a good eating habit to keep healthy. Only in this way can we keep fit and have enough energy to devote ourselves to study. ed，we should develop to study.
【教师点评】
本文紧扣主题, 结构分明，分段描述了不良的饮食习惯及其坏处，最后还表达了自己的观点。语言地道得体，词语和句型使用较规范，例如—些高级词；In terms of
, rather than , be particular about , do harm to , as far as I I'm concerned 等的应用，而且还注意到了过渡词汇的运用：however，and still , therefore，what’ s more等；在第二段的描述中避免了一味地运用first，second，third等，而是采用了some …some…others以及and still来清晰条理地写出了各种不良的饮食习惯。另外还使用了灵活句式：Therefore，we should have a balanced diet including vegetables and fruits，which is good for our health．这是一个句意充实，结构复杂的句子，其中包含一个现在分词短语作定语和一个非限制性定语从句，Only in this way can we keep fit and have enough energy to devote ourselves to study. ed，we should develop to study. 这是一个only +状语放在句首，句子要部分倒装的语法点。
文章的不足之处在于：开头段落就出现了两处明显的语法错误①①there are more and more students get fatter and fatter, and ②two fifth of them belong to the group of overweight students.致使文章的风采锐减 ，同时这也是写作的一大忌讳，①处可改为：there are more and more students getting tatter and fatter．②处可改为two fifths of them belong to him the group of over weight students. 另外文中的③单词拼写错误habit中只有一个b。拼写错误在作文中也是应当避免的，
这是一篇文字提示性作文，要求写一篇饮食与健康关系的短文。写作时切忌受中文提纲的制约，将书面表达变成翻译，造成语法结构和词汇上的单调。为避免遗漏要点，可先根据提示列出一些主要的词汇(组)、如：realize；become aware of ; be rich in ;healthy food ;as a result；become fat; heart disease；the link between diet and good health；take exercise等，然后再把这些词或短语连成句子，并恰当使用一些过渡词语，这样会使文章连贯、通顺。注意时态要以一般现在时为主。写这样的文章，一般要写明什么样的做法会对健康有利或有害，人们应该怎样做才能保持健康等。
这样的文章尽管属于说明文不可避免地会使用叙述、议论等。
文章的语言特点是：
1．时态相对统一，‘般以一般现在时为主。
2．以主动语态-和陈述句式为主，但为了表达灵活也可以使用其他表达形式。
3．恰当地使用过渡词来充分体现文章的逻辑关系。
【学生习作】
With the improvement of people' s life, more and more people have realized the link between food and health, and they eat food which contains rich protein, vitamins and so on.
However, many people haven't known the importance of a healthy diet. They don't eat healthy food. They often eat food having too much fat and calories. As a result, many of them are becoming fat, and illnesses, such as cancer, heart disease are increasing.
Therefore, it is important for us to realize the importance of eating the fight kinds of food. We should eat healthily. We should have more vegetables, more fruits and less meat. Moreover, we should also take enough exercise so that we. can keep fit.
【教师点评】
通过以上分析我们可以总结出下列写作策略和常用词汇及句型：
1．开门见山提出主题，说明自己发现的现象。常用词汇和句型有：recently；nowadays; these days; with the development /progress /advancement of …等。
2．说明所给内容时，可以先说现象，也可以先说后果，再说引起这种后果的原因。不管用何种方式，注意表述要清晰，层次要分明。常用词汇和句型有：as a result; cause ; lead to ;not only … but also …; as well as ; so; therefore ; It is important for sb. to do sth. ; We should …等。
3．归纳总结或发表意见。
这一部分主要提出自己的建议。常用句型有：Therefore，We’d better…；It’s a
good idea for us to…等。
实例指导3—睡眠不足
【写作任务】
根据下表反映的内容，写一篇150词左右的短文，向同学们发起倡议，确保睡眠充足，远离睡眠不足可能带来的危害。
【写作指导】
要点序号 关键单词和短语
① the average sleep time，kids aged 7 to 9, teen-agers, below the standard.
② two thirds, have the habit of, noon break, have no time to do.
③ two reasons, account for.
④ the main cause, due to, the early high-school start time
⑤ stay up late, undoubtedly lead to, insufficient sleep.
⑥ lack of sufficient sleep, put adolescents at risk, difficulties in school, including sleepiness, poor concentration.
⑦ have negative effects on, body development.
⑧ take measures, push back.
⑨ form a good habit of, go to bed early
⑩ make sure, sufficient sleep
第四步 恰当使用句型，连词成句。
在连词成句时要尽量做到： 套用常用句型和句式多变。一篇文章在表达准确的前提下，应做到单句、并列句、复合句恰当安排，长短句有机结合，非谓语动词及介词短语恰当使用，增加文章的生动性，为文章增加亮点。同时，一定要避免些常规句法错误的出现，如：无主语或无谓语动词，时态、语态错误，滥用逗号等。将上述提炼出来的关键单词和短语连词成句为：
①The average sleep time of kids aged 7 to 9 and teen-agers is below the standard.
②Two thirds don’t have the habit of noon break or they have no time to do that at all..
③ There are at least two reasons accounting for the problem.
④The main cause is due to the early high-school start time;
⑤Some of us like staying up late, which undoubtedly leads to insufficient sleep.
⑥There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration;
⑦This would have negative effects on their body development and health.
⑧The government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times.
⑨It is important to form a good habit of going to bed early.
⑩Let’s make sure that we all have sufficient sleep.
There is evidence to show that lack of sufficient sleep appears to put adolescents at risk for difficulties in school, including sleepiness in class and poor concentration. In addition, this would have negative effects on their body development and health.
Fortunately, the government has taken some measures to push back high-school starting times. As for us teenagers, it is important to form a good habit of going to bed early. Let’s make sure that we all have sufficient sleep.
【教师点评】
该篇文章从总体上来讲，能够把握表中的信息，并适当发挥，使自己的倡议有理有据。本文层次清楚，语言流畅，能够正确地利用一些较为高级的词语，精彩短语（下划线）、句型（斜体）和过渡词句（加粗）。时态和人称把握的较好，各种短语、句型、过渡词运用得当。较好地完成了写作任务。
【句型拓展】类似的常用句型有：
实例指导4—Keep a Happy Heart
由于面临着学业和考试的沉重压力,不少中学生出现了心理负担过重、身体处于亚健康状态的情况,而这对他们的学习和生活来说意味着一种恶性循环。针对这些情况,学校开展了"Keep a Happy Heart"的宣传活动。你班同学在英语课上也就此开展了如何轻松应对学习生活的讨论,现在请你谈谈自己的看法。词数:120左右。
分析:
1. 首先审题,根据题目所给的内容提示,可以确定本写作主题是谈谈如何保持轻松、健康的心理状态来应对繁重的学习生活。换言之,本写作的重点是阐述一些能够缓解中学生学习生活压力的经验或方法。
2. 审好题之后,要注意合理布局篇章结构。根据提示内容可知,本写作要求就目前中学生当中存在的一种现象发表自己的观点,因此在写作中,首先有必要对需要探讨的现象进行简单的描述,以引起下文。其次,围绕主题结合自己的生活实际来阐述自己的观点。在这部分中,可首先提炼出具有概括性的主题句,然后归纳出几个要点进行论述。在对要点进行罗列时,要注意连接词的使用,如first, second, third等；最后对全文做一个简单的总结和概括。
1. 这篇习作的内容充实,较为全面地论述了写作任务中所要求的要点；篇章布局较为合理,作者在论述的过程中思路较为清晰,注意到了连接词的运用,行文较为流畅自然。
2. 文章存在的主要问题:
①文章整体结构上不够连贯畅通,段与段之间缺乏必要的过渡句。例如第一段最后应加上一句话来承上启下。
②文中有些句子指代不明,读来让人感觉有些突兀。如第二段中"I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order."这句话的意思就不够明确。
③文中还有些地方出现了时态不一致、主谓不一致的问题。如第一段中"Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study."这句话中,同时并列使用了"cannot"和"became", "became"应改为"become",而"lead"应改为"leads"。
成稿:
With the increasing competition, young students today are under more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed, which can lead to a low efficiency in studying. Then, what should we do to stay happy and to study more efficiently? In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and our studies. Here are some suggestions of how to do this. First, I think we should do more sports. When I feel depressed, I often go running, which can keep me feeling energetic and help put me in a good mood. Secondly, I think we can turn to our friends, who may help us out of our trouble. Thirdly, we should make a good schedule for studying and relaxing. This will help us know exactly when to study and when to relax. In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.
Powerful sentences:
1. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed.
2. In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and studies.
3. In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.
实例指导5—吸烟与健康
【写作任务】
请根据以下提示，以smoking is bad for your health 为题写一篇字左右的文章；
1．吸烟有害健康：烟草中最少含有两种有害物质――焦油(tar)和尼古丁。它们损害常，影响呼吸。
2.吸烟能引起许多疾病：那些经常吸烟的人牙齿不好；许多烟民也因吸烟而常常咳嗽；吸烟引起的最严重的痰病之一是肺癌，许多人被这种可怕的痰病夺去了生命，
3．吸烟不仅有害烟民的健康，也毒害着不吸烟的人，尤其是妇女儿童。
4．劝告人们不要吸烟；
【写作指导】
Smoking is bad for your health
We all know that smoking is bad for health. This is because a cigarette includes at least two harmful substances -- tar and nicotine, which will damage the lung and affect breathing. What' s more, smoking causes many illnesses. Those who often smoke have bad teeth. A lot of people always cough because of smoking. One of the most serious illnesses that caused by smoking is lung cancer. And many people die of this terrible disease. In addition, smoking is not only bad for smokers, but also bad for non-smokers, specially(~) women and children.
Smoking is no good for health. Therefore, for the health of yourselves and also the people around you, please keep away from smoking.
①what's more改为what’s worse更符合主题。
②结尾段开头可以加上总结性的词汇(组)， 如：in a word；in conclusion。
【贵在总结】
通过以上分析我们可以得出以下写作策略和常用词汇及句型。
1.开门见山直入主题。常用句型有：Everyone knows ...; It is known to all / everyone that ..4 We all know that .../
As we all know; Almost everyone know the fact that...
2．根据提示详细描述。描述时注意先后顺序，井注意使用恰当的过渡词使全文通顺、流畅。尽量多使用一些高级，词汇或结构较复杂的句于；以增加文章的亮点或采分点，避免全篇句式过于单一。常用词汇和句型有： not only... also ...; as well as; be bad for; do harm to; cause; lead to; result in; therefore , moreover; nevertheless 等等。
3．提出建议或总结全文。常用句型和词汇有：Therefore, ... should give up /
stop ...; keep away from 等等。
实战演练
据估计，在中国吸烟者约占总人口的一半，而且烟民的年龄越来越年轻，甚至一些中学生也在抽烟。
Smoking Is Harmful
It has been estimated that smokers have made up half of the population in China. And the smokers are becoming younger and younger, even including some middle school students. Nowadays more and more people have realized smoking can do harm to people's health. However, some people still enjoy smoking. Why? Because some of them think it is a kind of fashion, some think it is of great fun and others, think that smoking can refresh themselves. In fact, smoking is a bad habit. It can cause a lot of diseases. Meanwhile smoking is a waste of money. Besides, careless smokers may cause dangerous fires. Smoking is harmful and it is not only bad for smokers themselves, but also bad for non-smokers. Therefore, I hope all the smokers can give up smoking for themselves and also for the people around them.
众所周知,健康的生活方式会让人终生受益,现在请你写一篇短文来谈谈如何养成良好的生活习惯和健康的生活方式,发表在班级墙报上与同学们共享。词数:120左右。How can we develop and maintain healthy lifestyles? In my opinion, the first thing is to get up early in the morning and go to sleep early in the evening. It is not good to stay up late at night. Next, I think we should eat a balanced diet. Don’t be too particular about food and never eat too much. And it’s good for us to eat more vegetables and fruit. Then remember to take part in some kinds of sports and spend at least one hour exercising every day. And the most important thing is to keep yourself in a good mood. Don’t be annoyed about small things. I wish everybody could have a healthy lifestyle and enjoy a happy life.
On Recreation
It is impossible for us to keep fit unless we often take part in activities of recreation．
Tere are various kinds of games in our daily life after study．For example，listeng to music，watcg TV，plang chess，gong to the cinema．But I think we’ better have more outdoor activities to supply our muscles with exercise because we usually sit too long in our classroom，ad our eyes and brain get tired．So it’s a good ida to play basketball，football，table tennis，gswimming and do some running，even gfor a picnic．
Our bran also needs changes to make it smart and active，Reember the old saying：“Awork and no play makes Jack a dull boy．
Work and Health
How to Live a Healthy Life
According to a recent survey, more than 70 percent of the working people are considered to be "sub-healthy", which means they can get sick very easily.
In my opinion, this is because they’re not leading a healthy life. How can we lead a healthy life? Firstly we should mind our diet by avoiding too many sweets and food that contains a lot of fat. Instead, we should eat more fruits and vegetables, which are good for our health. Secondly, we should exercise every day no matter how busy we are. Only by exercising can we build up a strong body. Lastly, we should try to be happy every day and forget our troubles. Healthy people are usually happy. So enjoy your life every day!